


Darling, You'll Be Okay

by DeadMilitia



Category: Bandom, Pierce the Veil
Genre: Kidnapped, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Perrentes - Freeform, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-06 23:59:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 23
Words: 73,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5435648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadMilitia/pseuds/DeadMilitia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years after Tony is kidnapped, his kidnapper lets him go. Life is a lot harder than he imagined it would be. He's terrified of everyone and every unexpected touch sets him off. His parents try everything to help him overcome his past. Tony fears he's too damaged to ever be saved. </p><p>With a little push from his therapist, Tony decides he wants to try to finish school and is placed in a special program where he meets Mike Fuentes. Mike takes pity on Tony when everyone is talking about what happened to him and stands up for the shy boy. After seeing how hurt and scared Tony really is, he takes it upon himself to protect the boy and quickly falls for him. </p><p>But when things take a turn for the worse, there's only so much Mike can do to save Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> When I put Victor, I'm talking about Papa Fuentes, not Vic.  
> Also, I have 6 chapters of this done, so I will go ahead and post them on here. I also post this over on Wattpad under the same name.

I felt sick as I heard the upstairs door being opened again. I closed my eyes as the sound of boots on concrete got louder. The door to my room opened and the light was turned on. I kept my eyes closed, knowing it would hurt to open them.

"I know you're not sleeping, baby," the man's rough voice said. This used to be where I started crying, but anymore I just don't care. I felt a hand caressing my cheek and then the blanket that was over me was pulled back. The man ran his hands down my body, stopping to touch all of my intimate places. I hadn't been clothed in over three years. The first day he brought me here, he violently stripped me and raped me. I haven't been clothed since. He was nice enough to cover me with a blanket, but only because he said he couldn't afford me getting sick.

"Guess what today is," he said. He was rubbing his hands in between my thighs. I didn't say anything, but I did open my eyes, earning a smile from him. He always wore a ski mask that had openings for his eyes and mouth. I've never seen what he really looks like and honestly I didn't want to know. "Awe, are you not going to play today?" He faked a pout before forcing my legs open and sitting on his knees in between them. I just stared at him. The only things we "celebrated" was my birthday, his birthday, holidays, and the anniversary of my arrival. That's the only way I knew it had been three years.

"Okay, if you won't play, then I'll just tell you. Today is the day you're leaving here." That should make me happy, but instead it had my heart pounding in fear. He didn't strike me as the type to just let you go. Not with a pulse anyway. I felt the tears start to well up before tears began to fall. He reached up to wipe them away. "Now, now, no reason to cry." He then leaned forward and began kissing my neck.

"Of course, if this is my last day with you, it's also going to be the roughest." He whisped into my ear. I shut my eyes and tried to mentally prepare myself. Whether I got out of here alive or not, at least it was almost over. The tears didn't stop though as he climbed all the way on top of me. After three years, you think I would be used to this. But this isn't something you get used to. It still hurts.

After a while of kissing me and fondling me, he took his own clothes off. He lubed up and I shut my eyes, waiting for the pain. He lifted my legs and then entered me with a harsh slam. I screamed in pain, but he liked that. He didn't waste time before he started slamming into me over and over. He was panting, moaning, and saying dirty things to me. I was crying and trying to just push through it. This was how it had been every day since I got here.

After he finished, I opened my eyes and watched him get re-dressed.

"W-when do I get to leave, sir?" I asked, he picked up the plastic cup on the small table next to my bed before walking over to the little sink in the corner. He filled it up with water before responding.

"Later tonight. I want to make today extra special for you." He came back over and placed the glass on the table. He got a key out of his pocket and uncuffed one of my hands before handing me the cup. After I drank the whole thing, he put the cup back in it's place. He then un-cuffed my other arm and let me get up. He then cuffed my hands behind my back and led me over to the small bathroom connected to the room. I sat on the toilet and did my business with him standing next to me. There was no such thing as privacy here. After I was done and he had cleaned me up, he took me back to the bed.

In all honesty, I wasn't sure if I wanted to get out of here alive. The police would want to know every little detail of what happened here, the press would publish stories about me. People would talk about me on social media. Worst of all, my family would know everything. I didn't want this stuff getting out. It was embarrassing the way he has treated me the last three years.

"I'll be back later," he said after cuffing me back to the bed. He shut the light off again, leaving me in darkness. After I heard the door lock, I broke down and cried again. You'd think I wouldn't be able to cry anymore. But somehow I still had tears left in me. Part of me wanted to go home and be with my parents and friends again. But part of me was too ashamed to face the world. That part wanted him to just shoot me and get it over with. I'm sure my family and friends had given up on me. It wasn't often someone lived very long after being kidnapped or got returned home. I'm sure they gave up a long time ago and accepted that I'm dead. So finding my body would give them peace rather than them having to live with me after what's happened. I didn't want to force my parents to have to look at me, knowing what happened every day for three years.

\------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, baby, time to get going." He said as he walked over to the bed. He un-cuffed me from the bed and had me stand up before cuffing my hands behind my back. I noticed he was wearing yellow rubber gloves and that terrified me. I guess I wasn't going home. He was doing this the messy way. He grabbed a hold of my arm and led me out of the room and up the stairs. He took me into a bathroom with a bathtub that was already filled up with water. I felt the tears running down my face. Sure, I kind of figured this was the route he would go, but that didn't mean it scared me any less.

"Stop crying, I'm just giving you a bath." He told me before helping me into the bathtub. "We can't have any evidence left on you." He then lathered up a wash cloth with soap before having me stand up again. He scrubbed every single inch of my body before helping me sit down again. He used a nearby cup to rinse me off. He then washed my hair really well twice.

"Close your eyes," he told me and I listened. He ran the rag over my face, getting every inch of it and my neck clean. He then used the cup to rinse me off again. He guided me to my knees and un-cuffed me only to cuff my hands in front of me. "Hands and knees," he told me. I did as I was told.

"I guess if I'm going to clean you up, I might as well get one last fuck out of you." He said before standing up and taking his clothes off. He stepped into the tub and got on his knees behind me. I lowered my head. I winced as he entered me and got to work. Luckily, he was already really turned on from bathing me, so this didn't take long. He yanked out of me and jacked off into a towel out of the hamper. After he was done, he got out and dried off before putting his clothes back on.

I watched as he lathered his gloved hand. I knew exactly what was coming next and I hated it. At least he had stretched me a little before. I was screaming and crying as he worked his hand into me until it was all the way in. I kept my eyes shut through out it all. After he deemed me clean, he pulled his hand out and then was using something to spray water in me to wash the soap out. I was breathing heavy and trying to control my crying. It wasn't the first time he had done that, but it always hurt.

He took the gloves off and threw them away before putting on a pair of work gloves. He helped me out of the tub and dry off before he left the room. He came back with clothes in his hands. They were the clothes I was wearing the night he took me.

"I washed them twice, just to be safe," he said before un-cuffing me. The clothes were still warm and it felt amazing to be clothed for a change. I had missed the feeling of warm clothes. As soon as my clothes were on me, he cuffed my hands in front of me again. "Let's get going." He led me into the living room. The house was actually very nice. I hadn't expected something so nice after the way my life had been here.

"I'm sure you understand why I must do this." He stated, taking out a blindfold. I just nodded and waited while he blinded me. I was then led by him through a door. I took a deep breath as soon as I was outside. It was so amazing to be outside again. It was chilly out and the air smelled like fall. I wonder what month it is? The sound of leaves crunching under our feet made me want to smile. I had missed so much about life.

I had to lay down on the back seat and he threw a blanket over me along with other things. It was an attempt to hide me. I soon heard the car start and the radio began playing some pop station. I allowed the movement of the car and the music to calm me. I was trying to push the thoughts away that he could still kill me. I wasn't in the clear yet.

It felt like we had been driving forever and the last bit had been rough. He finally parked and I heard him get out. He then opened the door and took everything off of me before helping me sit up. Once I was out of the car, he took the blind fold off and un-cuffed me. I looked around to see that we were on a dirt trail in the middle of the woods. My heart began to pound. He was going to kill me.

"It's been a fun three years, baby." He said before stepping towards me. He smiled as he brushed the hair out of my face. Even though he didn't bathe me, he did make sure I was clean shaved because he didn't like me to have stuble. He also kept my hair the same length it was when he took me. I was surprised when he suddenly shoved me against the car and the cold steel of his pocket knife was pressed to my throat. I felt the tears well up as I realized that this was where I was going to die.

"Don't you dare give them any information that might help them find me. You keep your slutty mouth shut. And remember, I will always own you. I will get to you long before any cop gets to me. And I won't hesitate to kill you." He said in a low, dark voice. I just nodded my head. I was terrified of him. He pressed the knife a little harder, cutting into my throat. I let out a gasp of pain. "That's to remind you of me." He then lowered the knife and stepped back. He pointed toward one end of the road.

"The main road is two miles that way, once there, you're going to turn left. The police station is four miles that way. They'll take care of you from there," he told me. He was really just letting me go? He shoved a backpack into my arms. "Now get the fuck out of here before I change my fucking mind." He didn't have to tell me twice. I began running as fast as I possibly could down the uneven road. I was terrified that he would change his mind and take me back to that hell hole. I finally reached the main road, but I didn't slow down. I ran as fast as I could to the left and down the road. There were a few cars that passed me, but nobody bothered to stop to check on the weird kid running down the road. I was just happy to be free. My legs were burning as I ran. This was the most they had been used in over three years.

I felt the fear well up inside me as a truck behind me slowed down. They drove next to me, keeping up with me easily.

"Need a ride?" The man asked, I ignored him. "Are you okay?" I didn't answer. I just wanted to get to the police station. "Where are you going?" My whole body was starting to fail me. I wasn't running nearly as fast. But I didn't want to stop either. Stopping for a stranger was the reason I was missing for three years. I tripped over something and went straight to the ground. I scrambled to get back on my feet but the man had already stopped and jumped out before I could. I gave up and stayed on the ground. I began sobbing. I was already out of breath from running, so the crying wasn't helping. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Hey, it's okay," the man said. I flinched away when he touched me. He pulled his hand back instantly. "Where were you heading?"

"P-police," was all I managed to get out.

"I'll call 911 for you, okay?" I just nodded. He stood right next to me as he dialed the number. I turned to sit with my knees up. "Yeah, there was a boy running down Highway Forty and I'm here with him now. He said he was trying to get to the police station.... He looks pretty beat up." The conversation was just little details after that.

"They're sending a police officer out," he told me. I only nodded. At least I had stopped crying. Maybe this man wasn't going to hurt me. "I'm Victor Fuentes," the man said. I didn't dare tell him my name. I wasn't going to trust this man that easily. The man stood with me until the police car pulled up which didn't take long. I looked up when the officer got to me.

"Son, are you okay?" He asked, I shook my head no.

"I-I'm Tony Perry, I was kidnapped three years ago." I felt the tears start to fall again. "I just w-want to go ho-me." I said, hiccuping as I talked.

"Come on, let's get you to the hospital." The officer said. The officer helped me up and to his car. For the first time in over three years, I felt safe. That was when realization hit me. I was about to see my parents again. That scared me a little. I didn't want them to have to know all of the horrible things I had endured since being gone. But I also couldn't wait to be wrapped in their arms again.


	2. Chapter 2

I was sitting on a hospital bed and waiting for my parents to get here. The doctor was a man and he had asked me to strip so he could see the damage done and treat any wounds. I freaked out because I didn't want to remove my clothes for him. So here I was, sitting on the bed with my knees up and arms around them. I had silently cried after the doctor left because I felt pathetic. I didn't want to be so afraid. I didn't think it would be this bad after I got released. I looked up as a female doctor came through the curtains.

"Tony, I'm going to be taking over with you. Is that okay?" She asked and I only nodded. Maybe a woman would be better. I hadn't been hurt by a woman. "Do you need some time to relax?" I just nodded again.

"C-can we wait until my p-parents get h-here?" I asked in a small voice and she gave me a kind smile.

"Of course," she answered. "How about we get to know each other a little better? My name is Victoria Hirch, I'm thirty-five years old, I'm married to my college sweetheart, and we have two little girls, Amelia and Aidan." She said, her voice stayed soft and kind.

"I-I'm Tony P-Perry, I'm eighteen... Um, I d-don't know what else to tell you." I said honestly.

"Do you play an instrument? A sport?" She asked and I nodded.

"Guitar and skateboarding." I said and she smiled.

"How about-" she was cut off.

"My baby!" I heard my mom's voice cry. I looked up see both of my parents rushing to me. I jumped up off the bed and my mom's arms were tightly around me the second she got close enough. My dad wrapped his arms around the both of us. I broke down and sobbed the hardest I had all day. It felt amazing to be held by my parents again. They both were full on sobbing over me. My dad was running his hand through my hair and my mom was crying on my shoulder. I never thought I would get to hug them again. We hugged for every bit of ten minutes before we all pulled away.

"Tony, now that your parents are here, are you ready to begin?" Dr. Hirch asked, I just nodded as I wiped the tears off of my face. "Can you take your shirt off for me?" I looked over at my parents and they both nodded. I was shaking but managed to take it off. My mom broke down again at how horrible I looked. I had cuts and bruises littering my body and I was extremely skinny. I felt the tears start to fall again, this time out of embarrassment. How could I allow this to happen to myself? I flinched a little when a hand was placed on my shoulder, the hand instantly was pulled back. I looked up and saw my dad with his hand still up and a worried look on his face.

"Okay, can you sit up straight?" Dr. Hirch asked and I did as I was told. She began carefully inspecting the recent wounds I had. Some were really deep. He had beat me a few times over the last few years, plus he got off on my pain. She was looking at the one he gave me today. "This one will definitely need stitches," she said. One of the nurses had cleaned all of the blood off of my neck. I was just happy my parents didn't have to see me all bloody like that. She moved to examine my chest where there were a few deep cuts. They had been done with a knife a couple of days ago. I appreciated that Dr. Hirch told me what she was doing before she touched me.

\-------------------------------------------

"Okay, Tony, why don't you start from the beginning. What's the first thing you remember?" Officer Powell asked. I was still sitting on the hospital bed and my mom was sitting next to me with one arm around me and the other one rubbing my left arm. My dad was sitting in a chair next to the bed. They had assigned a female cop to me. I guess they heard about my freak out over the male doctor. I took a deep breath before answering her.

"I was walking home from school and there was a man broken down on the side of the road.... I was kind of afraid to, but I asked if he was okay.... He said he needed someone to hold something for him so he could get his car going again.... I offered to help and.... I don't remember what happened. I just remember pain and then I later woke up handcuffed to a bed in a concrete room." My eyes never left my hands. Both of my parents were touching me. My mom had her arm around me and was rubbing my arm and my dad his hand on my knee in a comforting way. My mom hadn't stopped crying and now my dad had tears running down his face.

"What do you remember after that?" I really didn't want to re-live any of this. It took me a moment before I responded.

"A-after he found out I was awake, he.... he undressed me and then... he, um, he r-raped me." I knew my parents were having a hard time hearing this. My dad's hand tightened a little, but he was still careful. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I didn't bother to wipe them off.

"What exactly happened the last three years? Anything you tell us will help us find the man who did this." She said. _'And remember, I will always own you. I will get to you long before any cop gets to me. And I won't hesitate to kill you.'_ I whimpered as his words ran through my head. "Take your time," she said in a kind tone. I picked through what I should and shouldn't tell them. I wasn't sure how any of this worked. What exactly would give him away?

"H-he kept me.... um, n-naked from the day I got there until today. Um, he fed me toast with butter once a day.... u-unless I made him mad. He also gave me water.... Um, he kept me h-handcuffed to a bed in a concrete room.... B-before letting me go, he, um, he gave me a bath and washed my clothes." I still didn't look up. She waited a moment before asking the next question.

"Can you explain what he looked like?" I shook my head no.

"H-he always wore a ski mask when he was around me. I-I never saw his face..."

"Did he have anything that would make him stand out? Tattoos? Piercings?" I shook my head no. It was a lie, he had tattoos. I just didn't want to tell her. I didn't want him to come after me again. I just wanted to forget this ever happened.

"Tony, you have to be one hundred percent honest with me. That helps our chances of putting this man behind bars for good."

"F-for good?" I questioned.

"I promise I will do everything in my power to put this man away until he dies." She said and I took a deep breath. I didn't want to live in fear of him finding me again. I then nodded.

"H-he had a tattoo of a tree with broken branches hanging on it on his chest, and an owl on his right arm." I couldn't believe I was telling them this. But if there was any chance he would be put away for good, then that's what I wanted.

"You said he gave you a bath, did you see any of his house? Maybe out a window?" I shook my head no.

"Th-the curtains were all shut. I did see some of his house though." I then told her every little detail I could remember about the house. After that, she asked me several more questions and I basically had to tell her every detail of the last three years.

"Thank you, Tony. You did really good," she said with a smile.

"I-is this going to be all over the news? Like, about what he did to me every day?" I asked, the tears starting again. She gave me a sympathetic look and I looked back down at my hands.

"We'll do our best to keep as much out of the press as possible." She said and I just nodded. I had told her about his threat today, so I was going to be on watch for a while. They said a police officer would be stationed near my house at all times and it was advised I not be left alone, especially at night.

After everything was done, I was moved to a regular hospital room. I was malnourished and my mental state was horrible. They wanted to keep a close eye on me and help me get healthy. I just wanted to go home though. I hadn't been home in so long and I missed it. But at the same time I was scared. Did he really know where I lived? Would he come back for me? Would he take me again? Or just kill me on the spot?

"It's okay, honey, you're safe now." Mom said, wrapping her arms tighter around me. I hadn't realized I started crying again. We were sitting the same way we had been downstairs. My dad was sitting at the foot of the bed and was holding my feet in his lap and was massaging them. I couldn't image what my parents must be feeling right now. They just heard about their son being beaten and raped for three years while they probably thought I was dead the whole time. Now they were sitting here silently while their son cried. Killing me the first week he had me would have been mercy compared to the things he had done to me.

I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever recover. I mean, I went through hell for three years. How do you recover from this? Would I flinch away every time someone touched me without warning? Would I ever be able to live a normal life? Would I be able to move out, get married, and have kids? I broke down in sobs at the thoughts. I wanted that life. I wanted to be normal and happy. But I wasn't sure that would ever happen. I wasn't sure there was any hope left for me.

My dad moved to stand next to me and brush the hair out of my face while my mom hugged me tightly from the side. I hated to put them through this. Why couldn't he had just killed me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know the questions they would ask someone like Tony, so I winged it based on TV shows.


	3. Chapter 3

**One week later:**

I was going home today and I was beyond scared. I had already thrown up once this morning. I should be happy to be home. I guess I just hadn't been there in so long and I wasn't exactly normal anymore, so this was a big change for me. I was going home to the same house, but I wasn't the same kid returning. I wasn't sure how to function right and that scared me. Would I be expected to start recovering right away? What if I can't recover? What will my parents do? What about Jaime? He had been my best friend before all of this. Would he be able to look at me after this? Does he know everything that's happened to me? Was he going to just act like he doesn't know me? It would be hard to still be friends because it won't be like it was before. Would I flinch away from Jaime? Would that scare him off?

I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I got there just in time as I emptied my stomach for the second time this morning. My mom was right behind me, rubbing my back comfortingly and telling me that it would be okay. I had talked to the hospital psychiatrist this morning about my fears of leaving and re-entering the world. I requested that at least one of my parents be with me at all times and they respected that. So my mom and dad knew everything I was afraid of today.

I rinsed my mouth out before walking back into the room and sitting on the edge of the bed. I felt horrible. I jumped when the door opened. Nobody said anything because I jumped every time the door was opened. My dad walked in with some papers in his hands. My stomach churned and I ran back to the bathroom. This time, my dad comforted me.

They allowed me some time before we left. We were in the car on the way home and I was terrified. Everything looked the same, but it felt different. I was just glad that we wouldn't be passing by where he took me. That location was in the opposite direction of our house. I reached up and used the sleeve of my hoodie to wipe the tears away. My parents had brought me a full set of clothes from home, even socks and shoes. Then I requested that everything I had been wearing was thrown away. I never wanted to see those clothes again. He had even given me back the bracelets I had been wearing that day and my school bag. I also threw those away. I wanted everything from that place gone.

Once we parked in the driveway, I stayed in the car for a while. My parents sat with me. I wasn't crying and I didn't feel sick, which surprised me. I just sat there and looked around. I noted every little difference I saw. The house was decorated for Halloween, which I learned was this coming weekend. The porch now had a swing on it that was painted white along with a new, white railing around the porch. There was also a flower bed wrapping around the porch and a stone path leading from the porch steps to the driveway. I wondered if my parents took up do-it-yourself projects to distract themselves from my disappearance?

"We did most of it after you had been gone for over a year." My dad said. That confirmed what I thought.

"We've done some stuff on the inside, too." Mom added. I reached up and put my hand on the handle. I took a deep breath before opening it. I got out and my parents followed. My dad grabbed my bag they had brought me and then we walked to the house. I waited next to Mom as Dad unlocked the door. Once I stepped in, I took a deep breath. It smelled exactly how I remembered, apple and cinnamon. My mom's favorite scent. I stood there and looked around. The walls were painted a light blue color now instead of white and the carpet had been changed to a cream colored one. There was all kinds of family pictures hanging up on the walls. On the wall going up the stairs were pictures of me. I swear my parents had framed and hung every picture they've ever taken of me. I felt the tears start up again. I couldn't believe what I had put them through the last three years.

The railing on the stairs and down the open upstairs hallway had been stained a dark color. From here you could see my bedroom door. The alien crossing sign and the bio-hazard sign I had hung on the outside of the door were still there.

"Are you hungry?" My mom asked, I shook my head no.

"C-can I go to my room?" I asked and she nodded. My parents watched me as I walked up the stairs and opened my door. I left the door ajar as I walked in. It looked like they hadn't touched it in three years. The bed was still messed up, there was still clothes all over the floor. There was even an empty cup sitting on the bedside table. I felt strange standing here. Most people would run over and jump on their bed and let the comfort take them over. But I felt like a ghost standing in a replica of my past. I wasn't sure what to do. I just stood there and looked around. Why did I have to feel so odd? Why couldn't I be like the people in all of the shows and books? After they're freed and get home, life is amazing for them. They're happy to be home. They fall into bed and they remember how much they loved their mom's home-cooking. They get better.

But here I stood, feeling sick to my stomach and shaking. Everything seemed the same, but it felt different. I guess because _I'm_ different now. I don't think I'll ever feel safe or normal again. I felt the tears pour down my cheeks as I sobbed. Why didn't I get the happy ending? Why did I have to stand in the middle of the room sobbing? Where was my comfort? Why didn't I feel safe being home?

"Tony?" I jumped and turned around quickly. My dad was standing there and he looked at me sadly. I ran over and wrapped my arms around him before burying my face in his chest. He stood there and held me while I sobbed. He had one hand on my back and the other on the back of my head. I was sobbing so hard that it physically hurt. I just wanted to be okay.

\----------------------------------

It was the first night sleeping at home. My parents decided to take turns with me. Tonight my mom would be sleeping in my room then dad will tomorrow night. Ever since it got dark it had been hard. My hands hadn't stopped shaking and I felt sick. I walked into my bedroom where my mom was pulling the covers back.

"Are you ready for bed, sweetie?" She asked and I nodded. I climbed into the bed and pulled the covers up. My mom shut the light off and climbed in next to me. My heart was pounding and I was starting to sweat. As much as I tried to calm down and just relax, my mind went back to that place, to being locked up in the dark. The times when he would beat me, when he would rape me. Suddenly, there was a hand on me.

"No! Please, no! Not again!" I practically screamed as I scrambled to get away. My mom jumped up out of the bed and the light was suddenly on.

"Baby, you're okay. It's okay," she tried to calm me from across the room. The look she was giving me showed how scared she was. My dad was in the doorway staring at me. I broke down and began crying. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my hands. My parents stayed where they were. I knew they were afraid for me, or maybe they were afraid of me.

"Are you okay?" My mom asked, I just shook my head no.

"Are we supposed to call somebody?" I heard Dad whisper to Mom.

"Who could we call at eleven PM?" She whispered back.

"What about the hospital?" Mom didn't reply, but I heard someone walking away. I looked up when the bed dipped. Dad was sitting in front of me and seemed really worried.

"I d-don't want to g-o back to the hos-pital." I said through my crying. I really didn't. I just want to stay here and try to get better. But how am I supposed to ever get better?

"I know, bud, but right now, we're not sure how to help you. We just need some family guidance." He explained in a soft tone. I just put my head down and began crying again. Why did I have to make things worse for them? My dad sat there with me while I cried, but he didn't try to touch me.

_It's because you disgust him. What kind of son lets themselves be raped?_ I sobbed harder at the thought. It was true though. What guy lets himself to be kidnapped and raped for three years? Why didn't I ever try to leave? I never even thought about it, actually. Sure, I wanted to get out of there, but I just accepted that I was stuck there. I never tried to escape and I never even tried to plan an escape.

_"You're a pervert! You like what I do to you! Just admit it!"_ His words ran through my head. That was said during one of my submission beatings. He beat me severely the first week I was there. After the beatings he would violently rape me. I guess after enduring that several times a day every day, I just gave up and allowed him to do whatever he wanted without fighting. I was so pathetic. Why didn't I at least fight him? Why did I just obey him? I just did whatever he told me to do when he told me to do it.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. My chest was getting really tight. I was sobbing uncontrollably now and pulling at my hair. My dad reached up and grabbed my arms, trying to make me stop. He was saying something to me, but his voice sounded like it was coming through water. Once he got my hands away from my head, he held them down.

"L-let me g-o! Pl-ease! I'm so-rry! Please! I'm so s-sorry!" I sobbed out. I finally broke free. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I slammed the door and locked it. I sat on the floor with my back to the door and just sobbed.

I felt like the people who were killed after being held for a long time were the lucky ones. They didn't have to be afraid of their own family. They didn't have to deal with these feelings. They didn't have to learn to adjust. They were at peace.

_Why don't you just do it yourself, you worthless piece of shit?_ The voice in my head was his voice. I looked up and saw my mom's razor sitting on the edge of the tub. I didn't want to hurt anymore, but I also didn't want to hurt my parents. They just got me back. I couldn't take myself away from them again. I just couldn't.

"Tony? Baby? Can I come in?" My mom asked. I wanted to be in her arms, but I also didn't want her to see me like this. She had seen enough tonight. "Honey?" I finally stood up and opened the door. She looked at me sadly and held her arms out. I hugged her tightly for a few minutes before we went back to my bedroom. I saw my dad still sitting on the bed and it looked like he had been crying. Maybe it would be better for me to be in a hospital. To just be out of the home for a while. Maybe they could drug me up enough that I won't feel anymore. That sounded pretty nice right now.

"Are you ready to try again?" Mom asked and I nodded.

"C-can we leave the light on?" I asked and she nodded. Of course she wasn't going to turn it off after that. Dad stood in the room until we were both laying in bed. Mom didn't touch me this time. She stayed on her side of the bed. No mother should be afraid of getting too close to her son.

"Goodnight, Tony, I love you." Dad said and I smiled a little.

"Goodnight, Dad, I love you, too." I said back and he gave me a sad smile. He then went and kissed my mom goodnight before leaving the room. Mom and I exchanged the same words before I turned so my back was to her. I was beyond exhausted, but I doubted I would sleep. I hadn't been doing too much of that lately. Actually, I hadn't slept much over the last three years. I was too afraid.

\--------------------------------------------

The next morning, my mom made me breakfast while my dad made phone calls. They were trying to find a therapist for me and something for the whole family. I appreciated that they were trying to help instead of pushing me away because I'm being difficult. Breakfast was quiet. My parents were afraid of setting me off. Plus, we hadn't seen each other in three years. A lot has changed. Mostly I've changed.

"What's on your mind?" My mom asked and I only shrugged as a response. I didn't want to tell her. I wanted her to be happy. I had spent most of the night thinking and the main thing was my parents. Had they finally started to accept that I wasn't coming back? Had they started to get happy again? Had I ruined everything by coming back? Would it had been easier for them to find a body instead of a damaged kid?

"Okay, I found a female therapist for Tony, and a female family counselor who is willing to meet with us." My dad said as he came into the room. He had been making phone calls all morning. I wasn't surprised that he got females. After the way I had acted with a male doctor. "Tony, your therapist is going to be Dr. Preciado." My eyes widened.

"What? Jaime's mom?" That scared me. I had been best friends with Jaime since kindergarten. Would it be too weird for her to be my therapist? "W-why her?"

"Well, there really aren't that many female therapists in the area and I called the others and they either said they didn't take these kinds of topics or they couldn't accept any new clients. Then I remembered that Valerie was a therapist, so I called her. I've been on the phone with her for the last thirty minutes discussing some stuff. Oh, and Jaime wants to know if you're up for visitors yet? He's really missed you, Tony." My heart began to pound at the thought of seeing him or having to go to his mom and tell her all of the horrible things that had happened.

"Y-yeah, I guess." I said and he smiled before pulling out his phone and typing a text. I figured he was texting Jaime. He got a reply almost instantly.

"Jaime said he'll drop by after work today," Dad said with a smile. I just smiled back. Maybe seeing Jaime again would be good for me. I had always been close to my parents, there was very little that I didn't tell them, but the few things I wouldn't even tell them, I told Jaime. He was the most understanding person I had ever met. No matter what somebody was going through, he would do his best to try to understand your situation and help in any way he could.

"So what do you want to do today?" My mom asked as dad went to get ready to leave for work. He had said he didn't want to leave me, but he missed work all week last week to stay with me. His boss was understanding though and would give him more time if he needed it. But I told him to go.

"W-watch movies?" I suggested and she nodded.

"Okay, some new movies have come out that I think you'll love." She said and I gave her a small smile. 

After we got everything cleaned up in the kitchen, Mom put on a movie and we sat on the couch. About halfway through the movie, I turned to my mom.

"So, what all has changed the last three years?" She thought for a moment before replying.

"Well, Jaime can catch you up on his life when he gets here, okay?" I just nodded. "But your dad and I have just been working on the house and he's still working at the same place. I've started cleaning houses for people around town just over the last year and a half. Your cousin, Daniel, and his wife had their first baby back in January. It was a girl and they named her Avery Ray." I smiled at that. She went on to tell me more about people in the family or people in town. She told me that a few people had moved away and new people had moved in.

"You know, we never stopped looking for you. After a couple of months, people said to just give up because we weren't going to find you. But I knew you were still alive. I knew that if something happened to you, I would feel it. And I never once felt like you were gone. We even had a Facebook page set up for you and it got over one-hundred thousand Likes from all over the country. People were sharing your picture and praying that we would get to bring you home. And now thousands of people all over the country are celebrating your return." I had a weird feeling in my stomach. It wasn't fear or anger, it was happiness. It had been so long since I felt happy. My parents never gave up on me. Thousands of other people didn't either.

"I can't tell you how happy I am to have you home, baby." She said, gently placing a hand on my knee.


	4. Chapter 4

I was reading a book on the couch when there was a sudden knock on the front door. I jumped and my heart sped up. I stared at the door as my mom came into the room to answer the door.

"Hi, Mrs. Perry," a familiar voice said.

"Hi," my mom said in a happy tone. She hugged Jaime before letting him in. He had the biggest smile on his face when he saw me. I gave a small smile back. I was scared though. I didn't know how he was going to react to me. I wasn't the same person I was before and I wasn't sure if he knew that. He came over and sat near my feet.

"I'll let you boys catch up." Mom said with a smile. She then looked me in the eyes before saying, "I'll be right in the kitchen if you need me." I just nodded.

"How are you feeling?" Jaime asked and I shrugged.

"I feel like shit," I said and he chuckled a little but I could see the worry in his eyes. "What about you?"

"I've been good," he said and I smiled. I was glad to know he was okay.

"Please don't be on edge around me. Both of my parents are so careful right now. I just need someone to act normal." I was surprised I actually said that, but I was happy I did. He smiled at me before pulling out his phone. He went through some pictures before showing me one of a pretty girl. She was smiling and giving the camera a fake annoyed look. Her brown hair was pulled back and messy, and she was wearing a black hoodie.

"That's Jessica, my girlfriend. I can't wait for you to meet her. She's amazing," he said with a huge grin. I smiled but wasn't sure what to say. I was happy that he found someone.

"How did you two meet?" I asked as he showed me another picture of her.

"Her family moved here two years ago. We've been dating for one year and four months." He went on to tell me more about her and I was happy to listen.

"I'm happy for you, dude," I said and he smiled.

"Oh, Chris is throwing a Halloween party at the house this weekend. Do you want to come?" I shook my head no.

"I'm just not up for that yet," I said slowly. I didn't want to sound pathetic. He just smiled.

"I kind of figured you wouldn't be. How about I come over here and we spend Halloween together?"

"I don't want to ruin your Halloween."

"Tony, I haven't seen you in three years. It's going to be hard to get rid of me now." He gave me a big smile which I returned the best I could.

"Okay, how about we watch movies?" I suggested and his smile got brighter.

"Sounds good."

"Okay, so tell me more about you. What's new?" I asked and Jaime thought for a moment. Jaime then went on to tell me pretty much every detail of his life over the last three years. Some of the stories had me actually laughing. It felt nice to have someone treat me normally. Jaime wasn't afraid of me.

"How about you stay for dinner, Jaime?" Mom asked, she had a huge smile on her face at the sight of us laughing uncontrollably.

"Sure, Mrs. Perry, I would love to." He replied and she nodded before going back to the kitchen.

\---------------------------------------------------

"Well, I should probably be heading home." Jaime said and I bit my lip. Today had been really good. He spent six hours with me and I wasn't ready for him to leave yet.

"C-can you stay? Just for tonight?" I asked and he gave me a small smile.

"Sure," he said before pulling out his phone and texting someone. In a way, I was scared to have him here tonight. What if I freak out on him like I did my mom? Would he be done with me after that? "I'm going to run home and get some stuff. Do you want ride over with me?" I bit my lip before nodding. I didn't want to be afraid. I knew Jaime wasn't going to let anything happen to me. Plus, I would never be alone. I slipped my shoes on and we went downstairs.

"Where are you boys heading?" Mom asked, seeming a bit nervous.

"Jaime is staying the night and wants to go get some stuff. I'm going with him," I said. My parents exchanged a worried look before nodding.

"Be careful, okay? And hurry back," Mom told us. We both smiled and then went outside. I hesitated for a moment before stepping out the door. Jaime stayed right next to me all the way to the car. He even walked to the passenger side of the car until I was in. He then jogged around it and got in his side. I kept chewing on my lip and my eyes never stopped looking around. It was dark out which just elevated my anxiety. Jaime was playing one of our favorite bands and I tried to focus on it instead of everything else.

"My family will be happy to see you again." Jaime said and I forced a smile. I was kind of excited to see them, too. The Preciado house had been my second home growing up.

Once we got to the house, Jaime jumped out and was at my side before I even got out. The porch light was on and the door was unlocked.

"Tony!" Mrs. Preciado said, standing up from the couch. Mr. Preciado followed her. They both came over and I hugged them. I didn't freak out because it wasn't a surprise touch. "Oh, we've missed you so much." Mrs. Preciado said as she held me tightly.

"Hey, dude," Chris said as he came into the room. I smiled at him.

"I'm staying over at Tony's house tonight. I'm going to go get some stuff." Jaime said before running up the stairs. I followed behind him. His house looked the same way I remembered it. I sat on the bed while he grabbed stuff and shoved it into a backpack. I felt scared as he left me alone to go get his bathroom stuff.

"Ready?" Jaime asked when he came back. I just nodded and stood up. After saying bye to his family, we went back out to the car. He stayed next to me the whole time. I really appreciated that he did that without making a big deal about it. He didn't treat me like I was going to break.

\----------------------------------------------

I sat on the bed and read my book while waiting for someone else to wake up in the house. Jaime was still sprawled out on the bed, taking part of my side. He was snoring, but not too loud. The sky was just starting to get light and I had only gotten about three hours of sleep last night and not in a row. I heard my parents bed creaking and not long after, my dad was standing in the doorway. I gave him a small smile and he returned it.

"Morning," he said and I said it back. He then went downstairs and I could hear him in the kitchen. Not long after, my mom was checking on me. After she saw that I was okay, she joined Dad downstairs. I started reading again and then Jaime's phone started ringing on the nightstand. Jaime lifted his head and seemed confused for a second before smiling at me.

"Morning," he said while wiping drool from his mouth.

"Morning," I replied. He sat up and scratched his head, his hair was sticking up in every possible direction. "Your phone was ringing." I told him and he nodded. He picked it up and checked it.

"It was my boss. He probably wants me to cover somebody's shift." He put the phone back down before stretching and yawning.

"Shouldn't you call him back?" I asked and he shook his head no.

"He's probably already calling someone else. It's not a big deal." He said before smiling. "So, what are our plans for today?" He asked.

"Um, movies? Or video games?" I said and he nodded a little. I felt kind of bad because we couldn't go do what we used to. We couldn't go out to the movies, or hang out with a crowd, or go to the mall. I couldn't do any of that right now. "I-if you would rather go hang out with Jessica or someone, I understand."

"No, I'm cool with staying in today." He said and I smiled a little. Then a thought hit me.

"Does... Does Jessica know what happened to me?" He stared down at his hands before nodding.

"Yeah, but I didn't tell her." He answered and I pulled my eyebrows together.

"What do you mean?" He sighed before looking up at me.

"A lot of people around town have been talking about you. You've been all over the news the last two week. I know your parents turned away a lot of journalists who were wanting to interview you, especially at the hospital." My heart was pounding now. I didn't want this to happen.

"H-how much have they said?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "D-did they say what he did to me?"

"Yeah, they did." I put my head down and felt the tears well up in my eyes.

"How did they find out? How much did they tell?"

"They told a lot. They talked about the.... about what he did to you, some details about the living conditions, and how he covered up any possible evidence." I felt the tears slip out.

"How did they find out?" I repeated the question.

"I don't know, Turtle... Maybe someone at the hospital told them?" I let the tears fall and Jaime cautiously placed his hand on my back and began rubbing it. He didn't say anything though.

"Hey, boys, breakfast is-" my mom's voice cut off. "What happened?" She asked, her tone was full of worry. She came into the room and sat in front of me.

"He found out," Jaime told her. They had tried to keep it from me?

"Why?" I asked and my mom gave me a sad look.

"Why what, sweetie?" I hiccuped and wiped the tears off of my cheeks.

"Why did they h-have to do that?"

"I don't know.... Don't worry about it, okay?" Mom asked and I just nodded. Mom and Jaime sat there quietly as I finished crying. "Do you want some breakfast?" I thought for a moment before nodding. Mom smiled and gave my knee a little squeeze before leaving the room.

"You okay, dude?" Jaime asked, still rubbing my back.

"Yeah... Sorry you had to see that." He shook his head.

"Don't apologize. You've been through fucking hell the last three years. You deserve to break down." I smiled a little. I was happy that Jaime was just being himself.

"Thanks... For everything, Hime." I said and he smiled.

"No problem, dude. Are you ready to head downstairs?" I only nodded in response and we both got up. Mom had pancakes and bacon on the table when we got there. She poured us each a glass of orange juice before sitting down with us. Breakfast wasn't as quiet this morning. Jaime kept us entertained by telling stories. I loved that he could still make me laugh, and based on the way Mom kept looking at me, she loved it, too.

"Okay, you two, I need to go get some grocery. Jaime, can you hang around for a while longer? Or do I need to wait until Mando gets home?" Mom asked, I looked over at Jaime who was smiling, of course.

"No, you can go ahead and go. I'll stay here with Tony," Jaime replied. I felt bad that I had to have a babysitter, but I felt safer knowing someone was with me. Especially since that psycho was still out there somewhere. I had to talk to special agents at the hospital and they were looking for him. But I highly doubt they would really catch him. He kept me locked up kind of close to my home for three years. If they haven't been tipped off by who this man is yet, then I don't think they will.

"Turtle!" Jaime's loud voice broke me from my thoughts. I looked over to see him staring at me with a worried expression which he instantly turned into a fake smile. "Are you okay?" I just nodded.

"Wanna watch TV?" I asked, trying to turn the attention away from myself. He smiled and nodded. We both went to the living room and Jaime started flipping through channels. He finally settled on some cartoon. I wasn't paying much attention though. All the things he had done to me never left my mind. I might be able to push them aside for a few minutes, but they were always there. I wonder if they will ever end? I didn't want to live the rest of my life thinking about all of those things. I jumped when a hand touched my leg. I looked over when the hand was pulled back to see an apologetic Jaime.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare." He said in a soft tone. I shook my head.

"It's okay... My parents can't touch me too much either." I told him and he gave me a sad smile. "I hope your mom will be able to help me."

"Wait, my mom is going to be your therapist?"

"Yeah, I thought you knew. I mean, you were there when she was talking to my dad."

"Actually, I answered the phone when your dad called and he asked to speak to my mom. I then asked him if you were ready for visitors yet and he said he would ask after he got done talking to my mom. She didn't tell me she was taking you on a client." He explained. I wonder why she didn't tell him?

"Oh, well, yeah, my first appointment is Monday morning... I'm kind of nervous." I admitted. I knew this was a good thing, but I didn't want to do it. Not so soon.

"It's just my mom. You've talked to her plenty of times, just don't over-think all of this. She's still the same woman as before." I nodded, knowing he was right. I had talked to her about things in the past. I had been brutally bullied once and Jaime convinced me to talk to her since I wouldn't talk to my parents about it. She helped me sort it out. I only talked to her because Jaime agreed to stay with me. I wish I could ask him to stay this time, too. But I felt like I would be putting him in a bad position that he didn't deserve to be in. But I was terrified to talk about all of this.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, his eyes were searching my facial expression. I knew he could read me better than most people and I hate that sometimes. "If you want to ask me something, go ahead. You know I'm here no matter what."

"I just.... W-would you c-come, um, come to my, um, first a-appointment?" I asked, I didn't look up.

"Are you sure you want me there? I mean, I'll go, of course! But I just don't want to make things awkward." I sighed heavily before looking up.

"Yes, I want you there, but it's entirely up to you. H-he did a lot of things to me and I don't want you to have to listen to me talk about it. If you're not comfortable with this, then just say so." He gave me a small smile.

"I'll go with you, Turtle. I'm here for ya, bro." I smiled back. "If it makes things easier, my mom now has a home office. I don't know if they've already arranged for your session to be there, but if not, I can tell her you want it there. That way you're in a place that makes you comfortable. I could probably even convince her to come here instead."

"I don't want any special treatment."

"Tony, you've been through a lot, I think you deserve a little special treatment. Plus, if I've learned one thing from my mom, it's that a person is more willing to open up when in a comfortable enviroment."

"M-maybe we could do it in her home office?" I said it more like a question. I just didn't want special treatment.

"Let me text her and let her know you'd be more comfortable there. I should probably also let her know you want me to join you Monday." He pulled out his phone and began texting her. I jumped when there was a knock at the door. Even though this was my house and Jaime was the guest, I looked at him desperately.

"W-will you see who it is?" I asked quietly. "Just peak out, don't open the door yet." My heart was pounding so hard and I felt sick. He stood up and walked over to the door. He looked through the peep-hole and then turned to me.

"It's a man in a flannel shirt and blue jeans." Jaime informed me quietly. I shook my head.

"D-don't open it. Please, don't open it." I begged, he nodded. I began shaking a lot and put my head on my knees. I felt really sick.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to answer the door and I promise nothing will happen to you." The person knocked again. I felt like crying which made me feel pathetic. Jaime carefully put his hand on my back and began rubbing it. We then heard muffled talking and then the door being unlocked.

"No! Please!" I sobbed, I was shaking so bad. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom before Jaime could stop me. He was right behind me though and calling my name. I locked the door and slid down to the floor. I sat there and sobbed. My chest was tight and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Tony? Can I come in? I promise it's just me." Jaime said, I stood up on my shaking knees and fumbled with the lock before opening the door. Jaime slipped in and I shut it before locking it back. I sat back against the door and Jaime sat beside me. "Your mom came in with that guy. She said he's a friend of your dad's. He's not going to hurt you. But if you want to stay in here until he's gone, then I'm staying with you."

"Thanks, Hime," I said and he smiled. We sat there mostly in silence. I would hiccup every now and then as I tried to calm down. Jaime just sat with me and I was happy about that.

"Are you okay now?" He asked after I had calmed down. I nodded but didn't look up at him. As always, I jumped when there was a knock at the door.

"Tony, are you okay?" My mom asked, I nodded and then felt stupid because she couldn't see that.

"Yeah, Mrs. Perry, he's okay." Jaime told her and I smiled to say thank you and he smiled back.

"Are you sure?" Mom asked.

"Yeah, but I think we're just hanging out in here for a while." He told her.

"Okay, but if you need me, just yell." Jaime then assured her that we would. It then went back to being mostly silent. I could hear muffled voices as Mom and that man talked.


	5. Chapter 5

"Come on, Tony! Just because we're staying in doesn't mean we can't dress up." I sighed before chuckling a little.

"Fine, I'll wear something," I said. Jaime was dressed black sweat pants, a black long sleeve shirt, a ninja mask, and was carrying nun-chucks. I figured I could find something around the house. I went upstairs and opened the junk closet. I dug into the back to find a box. It was full of old costumes. I found my old Zorro costume. It was the last costume I had worn before being taken. I decided to go ahead and wear it again. After I changed, I went back downstairs.

"Shouldn't you guys be leaving?" I asked my parents who were now sitting on the couch.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Mom asked and I smiled.

"Yes, I'll be fine. I have Jaime here," I told her. She still looked unsure. They had been invited to an adult Halloween party by my dad's boss. I didn't want them to give up everything in their life because of me so I told them they should go. My parents both stood up. My mom pulled Jaime aside and I tried to listen to what was being said.

"Don't let him out of your sight. If anything happens, and I mean anything, you call me. You already know that if you need anything, you can always call your mom, too." She told him and he smiled at her.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Perry, he'll be fine." She smiled before hugging him. After hugs and kisses, my parents left. "Wanna go sit on the porch and hand out candy?" I bit my lip but nodded. I was still afraid of the dark and strangers. But it is Halloween night. There would be a lot of people out and a lot of lights on. Then again, a lot of people are kidnapped on Halloween.

I grabbed the big bowl of candy on the way to the porch. I was shaking a little as we sat down on the steps. Jaime noticed and gave my knee a little squeeze.

"We don't have to stay out here. We can go back inside if you're not ready for this." He told me, I smiled a little and shook my head.

"I have to start recovering sometime." I said with a very forced chuckle. Jaime gave me a serious look. 

"Tony, nobody expects you to recover so quickly. It could take years for you to be okay again, and that is perfectly, one hundred percent okay. Don't rush it." I gave him a small smile.

"Trick-or-treat!" A group of little girls said as they walked up to us. We both smiled at them and gave them each some candy.

"I just don't want to take too long and have everyone get tired of helping me." I said slowly.

"That's not gonna happen, Turtle. I promise," he smiled at me and I returned it. We then stayed mostly quiet as we handed out candy to kids. I handled things a lot better than I thought I would. My anxiety got the best of me a couple of times when men would bring their kids up to us. Jaime handled those people and allowed me to stay still with my head down. I was sure it seemed weird to the people, but I was hoping I just came across as shy.

"Why are SyFy Channel movies so cheesy?" Jaime asked as he ate another piece of candy. My parents had bought a lot this year, so we were helping ourselves to the leftovers.

"Because they're low budget?" I offered and he chuckled. "Ugh, I am so sick." I admitted as I ate another mini candy bar. I jumped a little as the door opened. My nerves calmed when my parents walked in.

"How was the party?" I asked.

"It was really good. How was your night?" Mom asked.

"It was fun. We had quite a few kids." I told her and she nodded with a smile which soon faded.

"Did everything go well?" She asked in a cautious tone.

"Yeah, everything went fine." I didn't want to tell her about the times I sort of freaked out. I really was afraid that my parents would end up getting tired of this side of me. She gave me a big grin before squeezing my knee.

"That's great, sweetie. Well, I think your dad and I are going to bed. I hope you boys have a fun night." She said before kissing me on the forehead. "Goodnight, sweetie. I love you."

"Goodnight, Mom. I love you, too." She then gave Jaime a kiss on the forehead.

"Goodnight," she told him. He smiled and said it back. They went upstairs and Jaime and I went back to watching Monsterwolf.

"Shit," Jaime said while looking at his phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone apparently called the police to complain about the noise at my house and another neighbor called my parents. They are on their way home and are pissed. Good thing I have nothing to do with that party. But that really sucks for Chris." He said with a small chuckle before putting his phone back on the couch cushion between us.

"Won't you still be in trouble for not stopping it?" I asked as his phone lit up again.

"Not if I didn't even know about it until just now." He said with a smile. I chuckled and shook my head. "Chris wants me to come home to help soften the blow." I felt kind of sad after that. I really liked Jaime being here, but I knew he had a life of his own and I couldn't expect him to drop everything to stay with me.

"Oh," was all I said. He replied to Chris really quick before putting the phone down again. "Aren't you going home?"

"And get in the middle of all of that? Hell no! This is Chris's mess, he can clean it up. I told him the party was a stupid idea and he didn't listen. I wonder if he's even sober enough to handle this though." I saw the concerned older brother coming out in Jaime.

"Maybe you should be there for him." I said and he shook his head no, but he looked really sad now.

"The year you disappeared, he got in with the wrong crowd. A bunch of college kids took him into their group and got him into drugs and drinking. The drugs started as marijuana, then turned to marijuana laced with stuff, and then I found these weird looking pills in a mint tin one day. I Googled different drugs and decided they were most likely some kind of homemade shit. I confronted him about it and he told me to fuck off.... I shouldn't even have thought about inviting you to that party because they're a rough bunch. I didn't even plan to be there during it. Had I not come over here, I would probably be with Jessica or something. Jess was going to some party tonight that didn't sound like much fun either." Jaime gave a humorless laugh.

"I'm sorry about Chris. What do you think is going to happen?" He shrugged.

"The police are probably breaking up the party right now. It will be obvious that there was underage kids drinking, they're all probably doing drugs, and Chris will look like the ring leader since it's his party. He's going to be in a shit load of trouble with our parents and probably the police." Jaime told me and I stayed quiet. "But it'll turn out okay in the end." He gave me a forced smile. Jaime was always the one to try to make bad situations seem better.

\-------------------

**Monday:**

My mom and I got out of the car before walking up to the front door of the Preciado home. Jaime had talked to his mom and let her know I felt more comfortable coming here. I knocked on the door with a shaky hand and waited. I was starting to feel really anxious, so I reached over and took my mom's hand. I saw her turn to look at me out the of my eye, but I stayed staring at my shoes. The door finally opened.

"Hi, come on in," Mrs. Preciado said. I followed my mom inside. I let go of her hand once the door was shut. I felt safer behind closed doors with people I trusted. "Okay, Tony, Jaime is up in his room. Could you go get him and give your mom and I about five minutes to talk?" I just nodded before heading up the stairs.

"Tony," I jumped at the sudden voice. I relaxed when I realized it was just Chris. He was sitting on his bed and waved me over. I hesitated because there were three other guys sitting in the room. They were all pretty menacing to me and I kept my eyes on the floor as I walked into the room. "Are you here to see Jaime?" I shook my head no and then thought for a second and nodded.

"I-I'm here to s-see your mom, b-but Jaime is st-staying with m-me." I said, still not looking up at them. I hated the feeling of four sets of eyes watching me. My heart began pounding as the one sitting at the computer desk stood up. He began to circle around me and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I knew in the back of my head that Chris wouldn't let anyone hurt me. At least, I hope he wouldn't.

"You're cute," the guy said, stopping in front of me. He reached up and put his fingers under my chin to make me look at him. He had brown hair that went down to his shoulders which was under a navy blue beanie, brown eyes that were behind a pair of large, black frame glasses, and he had scruffy facial hair."Shy with big, brown, innocent eyes." The guy licked his lips as he stared at me. I was shaking really bad now. My eyes darted around and I saw smirks on everyone's faces. I wanted to run away, but I was frozen. The guy reached up and pushed some of my hair out of my face.

"Pl-please," I couldn't finish what I was trying to say because of the choking fear.

"Please what? What do you want?" The guy asked, causing the others to chuckle a little. I looked at Chris, silently begging him to help me. He just sat and watched what was happening with amusement. I let out a small cry when I was suddenly yanked back and pressed against someone else. 

"Fuck off, Dalton," Jaime said, carefully pushing me behind him. Dalton was smirking while Jaime was giving him a death glare. "You leave him the hell alone." Jaime then turned and gently grabbed my hand before dragging me out of the room.

"Sorry about that. Those are some of the idiots that Chris has started hanging out with." He said once we got to the living room.

"Are you ready, Tony?" Mrs. Preciado asked as her and my mom came back into the room. I nodded my head and hugged my mom bye. Mrs. Preciado and Jaime led me through the kitchen and then Mrs. Preciado opened the basement door and started down followed by Jaime, but I froze. I couldn't bring myself to go down in a basement. I hadn't even been in my own basement since I got home.

"It's okay, Tony. You're safe with us," Jaime said in a soft tone. I looked up and nodded. My legs were shaking as I slowly made my way down the stairs. Jaime and Mrs. Preciado smiled at me when I finally reached the bottom. Mrs. Preciado opened the door to a room at the bottom of the stairs and I followed them in. From the look of the room, it was hard to believe that it was in a basement. The floor was covered with soft looking, cream colored carpet. The walls were painted white and had paintings hanging up. There was a couch along one wall and a desk with a chair behind it at the back wall. There were two, large, comfy looking, red leather chairs in front of the desk. I had never been in a therapist's office before, but I guess this is what you would expect one to look like.

"Go ahead and have a seat," Mrs. Preciado said. Jaime was already walking towards one of the red chairs. I followed and sat down beside him. Mrs. Preciado sat behind the desk and smiled at me. I smiled nervously and started rubbing my hands together. I was happy that Mrs. Preciado was going to be my therapist and that I was allowed to have Jaime here with me, but that was also what made this so hard. I would have to tell them what happened. I didn't want them to think differently of me because of what happened.

"Where are you comfortable with starting?"Mrs. Preciado asked, I only shrugged. "How about we start with how you're feeling now that you're home?" She suggested and I thought about it for a moment. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"I feel s-scared," I answered in a quiet tone.

"What are you afraid of?" She asked and I shrugged. "Tony, it's okay to talk to me. Whatever you say doesn't leave this room. Jaime understands that also." I was bouncing my knee and my hands were shaking.

"I'm afraid of being taken again." I said with tears in my eyes. Jaime began rubbing my back. "I can't sleep because I'm terrified of waking up back in that room. I can barely step outside of the house without-" I couldn't continue as I broke down. Jaime moved his chair closer to mine and put his left arm around me and used his right hand to rub my arm.

"You're under a police watch until they catch this man. Plus, you're never alone." She pointed out and I nodded.

"I know, but he took me off of the side of a road last time. Why wouldn't he do it again?"

"We'll never fully understand why he did anything that he did. You were very lucky, Tony. Most kidnapped kids don't make it back home." She said and the tears started again.

"Sometimes, I feel like those kids are the lucky ones. They don't.... they don't have to learn how to be normal again. They don't have to live in constant fear. They don't have to watch their family and friends walk on egg shells around them. Why couldn't I have been one of the lucky ones?" I began to sob and Jaime stood up instantly. He leaned down to wrap his arms completely around me. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head in his chest.

"Don't say that." I could tell Jaime was crying from the sound of his voice. "I spent the last three years crying over losing you. Do you seriously think anyone would have been better off if you hadn't made it home? I sobbed and celebrated when I heard that you were found." Jaime also broke down and began full out crying over me. It only made me cry more because I didn't want to cause him pain. Either way, I would have caused everyone pain. Had I been found dead, they would have cried. I was found alive and they still cry.

"I j-just want to b-be okay." I cried into his chest.

"And you will be eventually." Mrs. Preciado said. "Tony, nobody expects you to be the same person you were before. Nobody expects you to be healed in one night. This is a process. It's going to take a long time for you to get better, but I promise you that you will get better." After a few minutes of Mrs. Preciado talking to me, I finally calmed down and let go of Jaime. He moved back and wiped his face off before sitting back down. He kept a hold of me though.

"What can I do to get better?" I asked and she smiled at me.

"Well, we can take baby steps. What would you like to get back that he stole?" She asked and I felt more tears roll down my cheeks. The main thing I wanted that he stole, I could never get back.

"I-I didn't get to graduate," I said and she gave me a small smile.

"There are different types of programs in place to help people finish school. We can always get you into one those programs and for people who have certain issues, people are allowed to go along with them. You could take your parents, or me, or Jaime. It's completely up to you though, you don't have to take anyone if you don't want to." She told me and I nodded.

"Wh-what kind of programs are there?" I asked and she opened one of the drawers on her desk.

"I think that Step Forward would be the best one for you. They work with troubled people from ages thirteen to twenty. Basically if someone had a mental or medical reason they didn't get to finish school, they help them achieve that. Or if they simply need to get caught up from being out of school for too long. Would you like to try it out?" I bit my lip and stared down at my hands.

"You said you guys could come with me. W-Will I be in a class with other people?" I asked, finally looking up at her.

"Sometimes they get a different teacher to take students to a separate room to teach one-on-one if the student doesn't do well in social settings. It's up to you, Tony. We can give the classroom a try or I can request one-on-one teaching for you." I looked over at Jaime who still looked sad. I hated that I upset him so much. I was just trying to be honest since Mrs. Preciado needs me to be in order to help me. Though I was starting to think that maybe that wasn't the best approach this early on. I wanted to show Jaime that I was strong. I wanted to show everyone that I could do this. That I could get better.

"C-Can we try the classroom first?" I asked, my nerves were through the roof, but I felt like I had to do this.

"Are you positive? There's no shame in needing one-on-one. They can teach you separately and slowly move you to the classroom." She said and I bit my lip again. That sounded better and it would be a slower way to show them I was getting better.

"Can I do that?" She gave me a smile and nodded.

"Of course!" She exclaimed and wrote on her notepad again. "Okay, I will need to speak to your parents about it and then we can set up a meeting with Randy Armstrong, the owner of Step Forward. Then we will go from there, okay?" I gave her a small nod.

\-------------------------

I was happy to be back in my own room. Jaime had brought me home about an hour ago, but my parents just left to go talk to Mrs. Preciado about starting me in Step Forward. They were excited that I had already decided to take a big step. Jaime didn't seem as thrilled. He was currently laying on my bed and watching the movie we had put in. He had barely spoken to me since our little break down in his mom's office. I was worried I had made him mad. I sat up on the bed and crossed my legs.

"Jaime?" He hummed in response to let me know he was listening. "Are you mad about what happened today? About what I said?" He sighed and sat up also.

"I'm not mad. I wasn't even thinking about that. I have no right to be mad with anything that goes through your head because I don't understand it. I don't know what you went through. You can feel or think whatever you want, just please don't hurt yourself. Okay?" He had a concerned look in his eyes as he searched mine for something.

"I promise I won't," I said. Sure, I had thought about it. I had even thought about ending it all, but I couldn't do that to my family. That creep killing me was a totally different thing than me killing myself. "Then why are you in a bad mood?" I asked and he sighed.

"Are you positive you're ready for this class thing. I mean, you can barely handle being around the few people you have been around lately. This is going to be one room full of strangers. Some are going to be loud and rowdy. It's going to be like a real classroom. Are you sure you can handle that?" He asked, sounding really concerned. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"In all honesty, no, I don't know if I'm ready for it. But I have to do something. I can't just keep going the way I have."

"You could wait. Just meet with my mom for a few weeks and then decide on the bigger steps. There's no rush, Tony. Like Mom said, nobody expects you to heal over night. We may not understand what you're feeling, but we know you need patience." He said and I felt tears brimming my eyes. I rested my elbow on my knee and put my hand on my forehead, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I'm just.... I'm confused. I don't know what to do to make myself better. I don't know if I'll be ready to move on if I don't force myself." I explained. There wasn't a way to explain what I was feeling or thinking right now.

"I'll support whatever decision you make, but promise me that if this is too much, you'll tell my mom." He said and I nodded.

"I promise," I told him. He held out his pinky and I smiled a little before locking my pinky with his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason for the way Chris is which will come in a later chapter. Same with Dalton.  
> Extra brownie points to whoever knows who Randy Armstrong is without having to Google him. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a lot of re-writing because it wouldn't come out the way I wanted, but I'm happy with this version and I hope you like it. Also, for anyone who may not know, Randy Amstrong is the bass player for Red and he's awesome.

_Okay, first day of class. You can do this, Tony._ I told myself as my parents, Jaime, and I walked into the large, brown brick building. I was shaking from nerves and holding on to my mom's hand. My dad kept his hand on my back and Jaime walked behind me until we got inside. I didn't let go of my mom's hand though. I was still too scared.

"It's great to see that you made it, Tony. And it's good to see you again, Mr. and Mrs. Perry." Mr. Armstrong said as he greeted us. "And you must be Jaime," he said, shaking Jaime's hand. I had asked if Jaime could join me so I wouldn't have to be alone.

"Okay, before we get started, I need you to sign some papers, Tony. Come with me," he said and walked to the desk at the back of the main room. My parents and Jaime were right behind me. Mr. Armstrong dug through some drawers before pulling out a couple of papers, some of which were colored. "The colored ones are for you to take home and the white ones just need to be looked over and signed at the bottom if you don't mind." He said with a kind smile. I only nodded and took the papers and a pen.

I looked over the white pages. The first one just asked if I understood the rules listed on the pink piece of paper. I signed my name after looking it over. The next page was asking if I understood that this was an academic program that follows the same protocol as the public school system. I signed the page and took the blue piece that explained the protocol Step Forward follows. The last page was asking if I understand that they had psychiatric training and were authorized to take the necessary steps needed to help me should something happen. I signed the page and handed them to Mr. Armstrong who smiled at me.

"Okay, and Mr. and Mrs. Perry, I will need you to also sign this page stating that as his care takers you give us permission to tend to his needs should we need to." Mr. Armstrong handed them the last page I had signed. My parents looked it over and then my mom looked up.

"What would you guys do if something were to happen?" She asked and Mr. Armstrong smiled.

"I doubt we'll have any problems with Tony. Basically, we have the same medical treatments as psychiatric wards in hospitals to an extent if things get out of control. The only time we are allowed to use medication or restraints is if the person is in a complete breakdown and is at risk of hurting him or herself or somebody else. We don't abuse or humiliate our students if that's what you're worried about." He explained and my parents nodded before signing the paper. I was feeling a bit nervous because I wasn't sure what I was really getting myself into. But I trust Mrs. Preciado. She explained that she works closely with Step Forward and I trust that she wouldn't put me in a bad place.

"Do you have any other questions?" Mr. Armstrong asked, looking between the four of us.

"I do," I said quietly. Mr. Armstrong smiled at me.

"Yes?" He asked nicely.

"Um, h-how long until I'm in with th-the other students?" I asked slowly and quietly.

"Well, that depends on what you decide. We're not going to one day just tell you that you're being moved. Once you're ready, we will slowly start moving you into the classroom. How we do that is by having you in the classroom for one subject and we'll slowly move you into the classroom completely." He said with a kind smile. I smiled back and nodded once to say that I understood. "Okay, are we ready to get started?" He asked and I nodded. After hugging my parents goodbye, Jaime and I followed Mr. Armstrong down a hallway.

"Um, Mr. Armstrong?" I asked and he chuckled a little.

"You can just call me Randy," he told me as he opened a door and allowed us to go in.

"Okay, Randy, who will be my teacher?" I asked as I looked around the small room. The carpet was grayish-blue and the walls were white. There were two large windows on the left wall. There was a dry erase board behind a desk, a round table in the center of the room with chairs, and two book shelves in the back full of books along with a printer.

"I will," Randy said as he went to the back of the room. He pulled out some papers and a yellow folder. "Here is your folder that you can keep all your important stuff in, like test results and such. Now, how we do this is by giving you what we call a placement test. It covers all subjects and all levels. It's just to show us what you already know and what you need to learn or just work on. You are not timed on this, so don't rush." Randy said in a kind voice as he gave me the papers and two thin books.

"The books are for the reading and science parts of the test. You can also use a calculator but only on the second half of the math parts, so let me know when you get ready for that. It's marked on the page that starts the second part. Also, if you get to a question that you don't understand or don't know how to solve, just skip it." I only nodded with a small smile. Randy went back to his desk and I got a pencil out of the cup sitting in the middle of the table before looking through the papers. Even though this wasn't a timed test, I was still feeling nervous. Randy began working on some stuff and Jaime was on his phone. I began on the reading part since it was always my best subject.

I put math off until last because I hate math. I was almost done with the second half of the math test and then I would be done. I finished the test and sat there trying to find my voice to tell Randy.

"Are you done?" Jaime asked, getting Randy's attention. I just nodded and Randy came over to collect the papers.

"Okay, I'm going to go ahead and look these over. You may do whatever you want in the meantime." Randy said before going to the back of the room and getting some laminated papers and then going to his desk. I don't have a phone so I decided to draw. I had been drawing a lot lately and they all were really dark and depressing. I guess it was just me representing how I really felt. This time I was drawing a picture of the room I had been kept in. That place hadn't left my mind for a second since I got out. There were pens in the cup on the table and I grabbed a red one. I began drawing blood stains on the bed. I was completely lost in my drawing and was working fast on it.

"Tony!" I heard Jaime say loudly. I broke away from my drawing to see that Jaime was staring at me from his seat and Randy was standing next to the table. I also realized that I had tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" Randy asked in a soft tone. I shook my head no. I rested my elbows on the table and put my hands on my head as I cried. "Okay, okay, just breathe, Tony." Randy said, coming to stand next to me. He put his hand on my back and I flinched away which caused him to pull his hand back.

"Tony? Can you listen to me for a moment?" Jaime asked and I nodded, still staring at the table. "No matter what, this place has absolutely no control over you anymore. You will never end up back there, I promise. I would die before I let you end up back there." He told me, he reached out towards my hands but stopped right before getting to them. I nodded my head and he took my hands.

"Do you want me to call your parents?" Randy asked and I shook my head no.

"I w-want to keep going w-with class." I said and he stared at me for a moment before nodding his head once.

"Okay, I'm going to finish with your papers and then we'll discuss some stuff. Okay?" He asked and I nodded. He gave me a smile before going back to his desk. I put my notebook away, deciding that drawing was probably not the best thing right now. Jaime stayed off of his phone and just watched me. I hated putting him on edge, but I couldn't do anything about it. Instead of focusing on Jaime's eyes watching my every move, I decided to focus on Randy. He was muscular with tattoos. His brown hair was shorter on the sides and longer on top, the long part was hanging over to one side. He had bright blue eyes and a lot of facial hair. He was actually really handsome.

"Alright, I finished with these papers. You did pretty well on everything. We will work on the things you missed out on in school the last three years and you need to work on a couple of things in math and science, but I think you will just need a refresher on those things." Randy began going over the answers with me and showing me what I missed and then discussing the ones I just skipped. After we were done with that, Randy began teaching science.

\--------------------------

**Two Weeks Later:**

I was laying on my stomach on Jaime's bed with him laying beside me. We were playing a video game and eating potato chips. It had been about an hour since my session with Mrs. Preciado. I had to admit that my best friend's mom being my therapist was a bit odd, but it worked out better for me. It was odd because Mrs. Preciado and Jaime sat in a room and listened to me cry, then we act normal. Jaime and I were hanging out and Mrs. Preciado was making dinner. Just normal things.

Class had been going well and I had asked Randy if I could try being in with the other students on Monday. He was a little unsure, but agreed to give it a try. Randy and Jaime are going to stay in the classroom with me just to make sure things don't go bad and that I'm comfortable. Randy said that if I want to leave at any time to just tell him and we'll go back to the private room. I was nervous, but kind of excited. This would make things a little more normal I guess. I mean, I would be in an actually classroom like setting instead of a small room with one teacher and my best friend babysitting me.

Mrs. Preciado and I had been talking a lot more, especially about my drawings. I had started to slowly tell her more and more about what happened in that hell house. I could tell it was hard for Jaime to listen to, but I was happy that he stayed with me and still agreed to come into the room with me. Jaime was the only person who didn't treat me differently. The only time he was on edge with me was right after I have a breakdown, but he would go back to just being a friend after a few minutes. He still joked with me and was goofy. He was the same Jaime I remember from three years ago. Even if I'm not the same Tony that he remembers.

"Boys, dinner is ready." Mrs. Preciado yelled up the stairs. Jaime paused our game and we both made our way downstairs. Chris was out with some friends, even though Mrs. Preciado told him he couldn't leave. He snuck out about an hour ago, but Jaime didn't say anything to his mom. It was sad to see Jaime kind of giving up on his brother. I guess Chris was farther gone than I thought he was. Mrs. Preciado was trying her hardest though.

"Where's Chris?" Mrs. Preciado asked and Jaime shrugged.

"He climbed out his window about an hour ago." Jaime's expression said he didn't care, but his voice and eyes said he still did.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, sounding frustrated.

"Mom, why do you even bother? Chris obviously doesn't want to stop. He wants to keep ruining his life until he ends up dead. And you know as well as I do that it won't be long before we get that call." Jaime said, tears were in his eyes and he shook his head before standing up and storming back up to his room. Mrs. Preciado sat there and just looked so tired and worn.

"I c-can go talk to him?" I offered and she shook her head no.

"Talking to Jaime doesn't work anymore, dear. Ever since Chris got involved with those people, Jaime has just... shut down." She explained.

"What all has happened the last three years?" I asked, realizing that I didn't really know much about what had happened to their family since I was taken.

"You don't need to worry about that, dear. Now, go ahead and eat. You need it, you're so skinny," she said and I smiled a little. I had actually gained about twenty pounds since being home, but I wasn't back to my original weight yet. Mrs. Preciado began putting mashed potatoes on my plate when Jaime came back down the stairs. He now had a jacket on and keys in his hand.

"Where are you going?" Mrs. Preciado asked as Jaime put his shoes on.

"To get Chris and then I'm going to kick his ass for leaving." Jaime said, not even looking at us.

"Jaime, no, when your father gets home, he can go get him."

"You know what, Dad won't be home in time, and I'm not just gonna sit here and let Chris fucking kill himself." Jaime said before storming out of the house. I jumped up and ran after him, grabbing my shoes on the way out the door. "Go back inside, Tony. You can't come with me." My eyes darted around the darkness as I followed him to the car. I was thankful when Jaime stopped and let me get caught up before walking with me. I was only in socks, so I was thankful for their stone path leading to the driveway. I winced as I walked across the rocks to his passenger side. After I was in, he got in and slammed his door.

"I'm not letting you go alone. So either I go with you, or you get your ass back in the house and apologize to your mom." I said and he sighed. He had his elbow on the door and was staring out the window. I saw the anger and sadness on his face. He finally started the car, but didn't say anything. I silently put my shoes on.

"I've never seen you like this before." I commented and he looked over briefly.

"Well, now you have," was all he said. I felt bad for Jaime because he seemed so stressed.

"Why didn't you think your dad would get home in time?" He sighed again.

"Because he stays at work late and never answers his damn phone."

"Why has he been doing that?"

"I don't know, Tony!" He snapped, making me shrink back a bit. I felt bad for pushing him. "I'm sorry, I'm just-" He cut himself off as he tried to find the words.

"I get it," I told him and he gave me a small smile. It wasn't long before we pulled up to a white house that didn't look taken care of and the yard was a wreck. There were several cars parked in the driveway and yard and there was loud music coming from inside.

"I would tell you to stay here, but I would feel better knowing I can see you." He said before getting out. I hurriedly got out and to his side. When he opened the door, he grabbed my arm gently and began leading me through the crowd. "Dalton!" He shouted over the loud music at the guy who messed with me a couple of weeks back. The guy had a smirk on his face, but not towards Jaime, he was staring at me.

"Awe, you brought us something to play with." He said, coming towards me. I moved closer to Jaime, pressing myself to him. There were so many people here. Jaime used his free hand to shove Dalton back.

"Fucking touch him and I'll kill you. Where's my dickhead brother?" Jaime said, all of his anger had come back.

"Last I saw him, he was heading upstairs with some bitch." He said, motioning towards the stairs. Jaime began dragging me towards the stairs. I wasn't sure I really wanted to see what was on the other side of the door and I was right. Chris was naked on his knees behind a naked girl. I blushed and looked away. They stopped what they were doing and looked back at us.

"What the fuck, Jaime? Get out," Chris said before going back to what he was doing. Jaime shut the door and let go of me before storming over to his brother. He shoved him harshly, making him fall off of the small bed.

"Sorry, darling, but it's past Chris's bed time." Jaime said to the naked girl who was now sitting to watch what was happening.

"Dude, fuck off!" Chris said. Jaime ignored him and gathered the girl's clothes before handing them to her.

"Get dressed and head on back to the party." Jaime told her. I tried not to look at her, I had already seen too much of both of them. I looked anywhere else in the room while the girl got re-dressed before walking past me. "Get dressed," Jaime ordered, handing Chris his clothes.

"You can't tell me what to do." Chris said, sounding like a child.

"Do you want me to fucking do it for you?" Jaime asked, clearly not in the mood to deal with Chris right now. Chris was fuming, but took his clothes and got dressed. The second Chris was dressed, Jaime grabbed his arm and began dragging him out of the room. I followed closely beside Jaime. It was difficult to stay with them as we made our way through the crowd. I was starting to freak out as the distance between me and them got bigger.

"Jaime!" I yelled as I was suddenly grabbed around the waist and pressed to someone's body.

"Come on, baby, why don't you stay a while?" Dalton asked in my ear. Jaime stormed over, still holding on to Chris.

"Let him go," Jaime growled. Dalton just smirked and began moving his lower body side-to-side against mine.

"Make me," Dalton challenged. I had tears rolling down my cheeks. The way Dalton was treating me made me think of my kidnapper. I was starting to think I really should have just stayed at the house.

"I swear to god that if you go anywhere, I will fucking kill you." Jaime told Chris before letting go of him. He turned to Dalton and before I knew it, he punched Dalton in the nose and then yanked me away from him. He grabbed Chris's arm again and kept a hold of me as we left. He opened the passenger door and shoved Chris in before waiting for me to get in the back seat. He got in and started the car before pulling away from the house.

The whole way home, Jaime and Chris fought. I just stayed quiet in the back seat. When we got to the house, Mr. Preciado was there and he began to chew out Chris the second he was in the door. He then turned on Jaime and began yelling at him for "being stupid enough to go over there," and for the fact that Jaime should have called him. It ended with Jaime yelling at him about the fact he wouldn't have answered his phone anyway and that he was a screw up as a father. Mrs. Preciado was yelling over everyone trying to get them to calm down and Mr. Preciado told her to, "stop with the therapist shit."

Everything was quiet in the house now. Mr. Preciado left, Mrs. Preciado went to her room, Chris went to his room, and Jaime and I were in the car on our way to my house. I came close to having a breakdown as they all yelled. I had never seen the Preciado house like that. They were always so calm and happy, but now they're home was falling apart. It killed me to see them like that.

"I'm sorry about tonight," Jaime said and I shook my head.

"It wasn't your fault." I said and he only hummed in response. "Are you okay?" I asked as we pulled up to the house.

"Yeah," was all he said as he got out of the car. He walked around to my side and walked with me to the door. "Are you okay?" He asked me when we got to the door.

"Yeah, I think so," I said and he gave me a sad smile. We walked inside, greeted my parents and then went to my room. "Can we not tell my parents about what happened tonight?"

"Of course, they would kill me if they knew I took you with me." He laughed a little. I laughed also before yawning really big. "You should probably get some sleep." He told me, I only nodded before going to get changed. Even though it was only ten PM, I was exhausted. I figured it was from all of the drama tonight. Once I got back to my room, I climbed into bed, leaving the light on of course. Jaime was playing on his phone and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly surprised anyone is reading any of my stories. Thank you so much!

It was Monday morning and my nerves were through the roof. Randy told me that we would do the last class of the day which meant that I had until then to worry about it. Jaime wasn't thrilled about this. He feels like I'm moving too quickly and need to spend more one-on-one time with Randy. But I feel like I'm ready for this, even if it does terrify me.

"Tony, Jaime! Great to see you two," Randy said, same as every day. I smiled at him as Jaime greeted him. Randy then greeted my parents who returned it. After my parents talked to Randy for a moment, they turned and hugged me bye. Once they were gone, we followed Randy to our usual room.

"How come we never see any of the other students?" I asked, realizing the front room and hallways were always empty.

"Because they enter from the other side of the building. Private rooms are the only things on this side. We try to keep that busy side and this quiet side separate for the sake of students who can't handle all of those people." Randy told me as he got everything for today. I only nodded in response. Randy doesn't mind that I don't really talk. According to him, he has dealt with kids who didn't speak at all.

"Okay, you will be in the other class for science. Is that okay?" He asked as he sat some math papers down in front of me. I only nodded as I got a pencil. Jaime got on his phone as usual as I worked on the problems and Randy sat at his desk and did whatever it is he does while there.

\------------

We were getting things together to move me to the classroom. I was terrified, but I kept telling myself that I would be okay. Jaime put his hand on my back as we walked down the hallway and I smiled at the small gesture.

"Okay, you'll be in my brother's class. His name is Anthony and he's really nice. There's no reason to be afraid of him." Randy assured me before knocking on the door. He didn't wait for a reply before opening it. I felt frozen and insecure as everyone in the class stopped and looked over at us.

"Hey, you must be Tony," a guy who looked almost exactly like Randy greeted with his hand stuck out. I looked from him to Randy and back again before taking Anthony's hand.

"And yes, we're twins," Randy said with a laugh. "This is Tony's best friend, Jaime." Randy said, motioning to Jaime. Anthony shook his hand. I looked around and already saw shocked looks and people whispering. I felt really insecure and looked down at my shoes. I wasn't sure if this was such a good idea anymore. I'm sure everyone here knew what happened to me.

"Alright, this is Tony Perry and Jaime, I expect you all to treat them both with respect. I mean it," Anthony said, a slight joking tone, but mostly serious. The door opened again and we all looked over.

"Randy, Anthony, I need to talk to you both." A short, bald man with a beard said.

"Okay, Mike, just give us a moment." Anthony said before turning to Jaime and I. "Go ahead and take a seat wherever you'd like." He then turned to the rest of the class. "Randy and I will be right back. You hooligans better behave. Make Tony feel welcomed into the class." He said before smirking at them. Him and Randy left the room and I looked around. I wasn't sure where to sit, not that I could move anyway. I was frozen in place.

"How'd you get away from that psycho?" A scrawny looking guy with a British accent asked.

"What did he do to you?" A blonde girl asked.

"How did it happen?" A pale, ginger boy asked. I felt myself sweating and I was really nervous.

"Just ignore them," a skinny guy with tattoos said. He was leaning back in a chair at the table closest to me. "You can sit with me if you want." He motioned to the two empty chairs beside him. The room was set up pretty much the same as the private room only it was bigger and had more tables that were rectangular instead of circular. I stared down at my feet as Jaime and I walked over to his table. I sat beside him and Jaime sat on the other side of me. The only other person at this table was the British guy who asked me the first question. Jaime was sitting between me and the British guy.

"Seriously though, what's the full story? I've heard the shit on the news, but you can never tell what's true."

"Sykes, fuck off," the tattooed guy beside me said, sounding a bit annoyed.

"You fuck off. I want to know what happened." The British guy replied. I sank down in my seat and stared at the door. I really wanted one of the teachers to come back. I didn't want to be here anymore. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I refused to cry. I wasn't going to cry in front of all of these people. Jaime was squeezing my knee in an attempt to calm me down.

"I heard the sicko kept him tied to a bed the entire three years." A girl whispered behind me.

"Poor thing, I can't imagine being used like that for three whole years. How often do you think he was... you know?" Another girl whispered back. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away.

"You know that man is still out there right? How close to town do you think he lives?" A guy added in a hushed tone.

"Just think, we could pass by him every day and have no clue." The first girl said.

"Wow, that's freaky." The second girl commented.

"Do you think he's already taken a replacement?" I felt more tears falling down my cheeks that I couldn't stop. I jumped towards Jaime when the guy next to me suddenly and quickly sat up and turned around.

"Shut the fuck up!" The tattooed guy suddenly yelled. More tears fell and I hated it. "He's literally sitting right fucking here and you assholes are going to sit behind him and talk like that? Are you fucking serious?" Everyone got really quiet and I sank farther into the chair.

"Are you okay?" Jaime asked and I only nodded since I didn't trust my voice. After the guy was done yelling at everyone, he turned back to face me. His facial expression softened when he met my eyes.

"Sorry about them. My first day here was hell, too." The guy explained in a quiet tone. I only nodded and gave a small smile in response. "I'm Mike Fuentes, by the way." I looked at Jaime who was watching Mike very closely. I knew that look, he was trying to decide if Mike could be trusted.

"Sorry about that, class. Everything is taken care of now though and we can get on with class." Anthony said as him and Randy came back into the room. Randy sat in a chair near the front of the room that was against the wall while Anthony stood in front of his desk. "I trust that everyone was respectful and mature while I was gone?" Anthony looked at the class with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, they made Tony here feel really welcomed by asking all kinds of questions and talking about what that bastard did to him." Mike said, his tone held nothing but anger. Anthony seemed disappointed and Randy looked concerned.

"You all should know better by now. Do you not remember the rules of my classroom?" Anthony asked, everyone stayed quiet. "Keep your words to yourself. Nobody likes to be talked about or felt judged." He reminded and I just wanted to disappear. This was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. Randy stood up and came over to me.

"Would you like to go back to the private room?" He whispered and I thought about it for a moment. I really did want to go back, but I also wanted to get better. I finally shook my head no.

"I-I think I'll be okay." I answered and he stared at me for a moment before nodding. He went back to sit down and Anthony started class. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

\---------------------

I stayed buried under my covers all day on Saturday. I had basically made a tight cocoon to hide in. I skipped class today simply because I didn't want to be there today. Randy had called to check on me and I told him I just needed some time to think. That Sykes guy kept wanting to ask me questions and make comments about me. Anthony ended up sending him to a private room with Randy to finish out the lesson. I was thankful for that. The second we were released, I had ran out of the room and through the hallways in hopes of getting to the private half of the building. Jaime was right behind me the whole way. I ended up breaking down in one of the hallways. Randy and Jaime comforted me until my parents got there.

So today I had no desire to get up. I just felt really down and I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was all the stress from the last few weeks, everything with my parents, everything with Dalton, the way I couldn't help Jaime with Chris, everything in class. I snuggled myself deeper into the blankets. I wished I could sleep more, but I still wasn't sleeping well.

"Turtle, you're going to have to come out of there eventually." Jaime said, but I didn't reply. I heard him sigh and then he sat beside me. After a few minutes, I moved the blankets just enough to see him. The second I saw his sympathetic smile and sad eyes, tears welled up in my eyes.

"Why can't life just be easy?" I asked quietly, feeling my throat tighten.

"I don't know... I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't." He sounded really guilty and I sighed.

"You don't have to have an answer." I told him. His phone went off and he pulled it out.

"Randy just texted me and said that Mike guy was worried about you." Jaime said, I pulled my eyebrows together in confusion.

"How does Randy have your number? And why does Mike care?"

"He asked for it after the first day just in case he ever needed to get a hold of me because of you. And I don't know," he said before typing a quick reply.

"It's nice to know at least one person there really cared." I said before covering back up in my blanket cocoon.

"Apparently Mike was 'worried that you decided against coming back because of the 'word I won't use' who wouldn't leave you alone.' That's what the text says anyway," Jaime said. It really did feel nice to think that Mike cared about me. But maybe he just feels sorry for me.

"D-Do you think I should go back tomorrow?" I asked quietly, hoping he heard me through the blankets.

"That's up to you. You know you don't have to go back to Anthony's class, right? You can go back to it just being me and Randy." I stayed quiet under the blankets as I thought about it. I really did want to be able to be in Anthony's class, but I also enjoyed being in a private class.

"Are you at least going to come out to eat?"

"No," I answered and he sighed.

"Well, you're not going to starve, so I'll bring you something to eat. What sounds good?" I thought about it for a moment.

"Chili?" I requested.

"Sure thing, I'll be back," he said before getting up and leaving. I didn't mind being alone right now. Being under my covers made me feel safe. I shut my eyes and tried not to think about anything. The floor boards suddenly creaked and I stiffened. I didn't like being snuck up on and everyone in the house knew that, so it couldn't have been one of them. I had tears in my eyes as the soft footsteps got closer to me. I tried to stay as still and quiet as possible. Maybe they wouldn't know I was here.

"Tony?" My dad's confused voice said. I pulled the covers back with shaky hands to look up at him. He seemed confused but smiled down at me. I pulled the cover the rest of the way off and wiped at my eyes to dry them. "What's wrong, bud?"

"I-I didn't know who was in my room." I replied quietly and he looked guilty.

"I wasn't positive if you were in here. I thought that was you under there, but you weren't moving, so I wasn't sure." He told me and I gave him a small smile. "Why are you hiding?"

"Just a lot on my mind," I told him and he nodded. He sat down beside me and began rubbing my back through the blankets.

"Do you want to talk to Mrs. Preciado? I can see if she can come over." He told me and I shook my head no.

"I'll be okay," I told him. Though I wasn't sure if that was true or not. I just didn't want anyone to worry about me. I'm not doing a good job by hiding under the covers.

"I just came up to check on you. Your mom is worried about you." He told me and I gave him a small smile.

"I'm okay, Dad," I told him with a smile. He reached down and gently pushed my hair out of my face with a sad smile.

"I love you, Tony," he said.

"I love you, too," I replied. It killed me to see the pain in my parents. They finally had me back, but I'm sure this isn't what they thought it was going to be like. I'm nothing like the person they lost. My dad kept smoothing out my wild hair before giving me a smile and leaving the room.

"Okay, this is really hot and I don't want you hurting yourself, so please at least sit up to eat it." Jaime said as he came back with a bowl of chili wrapped in a towel. I sat up, keeping the covers around me. I thanked him when he handed me the food. He pulled out two cans of Coke from his jacket pockets and placed them on the bedside table. I began eating while he sat down in front of me, leaning back against the headboard.

We sat in silence as I ate. Jaime would text someone every now and then. I'm sure it's Jessica. I felt bad that he was spending so much time with me instead of her. I had tried to convince him that it was okay to leave or even bring Jessica here, but he hadn't yet. I honestly don't think he's actually been with her since I got home. Jaime insisted on being with me whenever possible. He only left when it was absolutely necessary.

"Are you texting Jessica?" I asked and he nodded.

"She wants to hang out tonight." I wasn't sure if I was giving him a sad look or what because as soon as he looked up at me he spoke again. "I told her I couldn't because I'm here with you." I felt really bad. He had been giving up his personal life to sit around the house with me. I was sure he was getting bored. I mean, we watch movies, play video games, and he plays on his phone while I read. The same thing every day.

"You should go see her. It's not like I'm going anywhere," I said and I saw this sad look cross his face before he covered it up.

"I would rather just be here," he told me and I pulled my eye brows together.

"You do know I'm not going anywhere, right?" I asked and Jaime stared at me before letting out a loud sigh.

"I know you remember the day you were taken, but do you remember the last thing you said to me?" He asked and I thought back. I remember talking to him before leaving the school, but I couldn't remember exactly what was said. I only shook my head. He looked hesitant to continue but finally did. "I wanted to go to Sid's that night and you couldn't because your parents had a friend coming over for dinner. I was disappointed and before you left, you told me, "it's not like I'm going anywhere." And that we could go the next day. Then I'm being told that nobody can find you and search teams are being put together along with Amber Alerts and posters being sent out... I didn't know whether or not I would ever see you again... I'm terrified that something is going to happen." He said and I saw genuine fear in his eyes.

"Well, Jessica is at just as much of a risk as I am." As soon as I said those words, I regretted them. Jaime looked hurt and even more scared. He began to get up and I grabbed his arm to stop him. "Wait, I shouldn't have said that. We're all fine, Jaime. We'll all continue to be fine." I told him and he looked away from me and shook his head.

"Before you were taken, I didn't give much thought to kidnappings. It was a sad, unfortunate thing that happened to other people and you heard about it on the news. Then you said a prayer over the family because you knew the chances of their loved one being found alive were slim, and then you moved on with your day. When someone you love is the person taken, it kills you." Jaime looked like he was about to start crying. I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet.

"For the first year after you were taken, my parents hated Chris and I being out of their sight. They became those over-protective, hover parents because they were scared. My mom would check on us several times through out the night the first few months. I started going to see one of Mom's friends since I wouldn't talk to her. I didn't know how to handle everything and I wanted to believe that everything would be fine if I just didn't accept the possibility of you being gone for good." Jaime stopped to wipe a few tears away.

"Then everyone at school just went back to their lives after the shock of you being gone wore off. They learned to accept that this was just another one of those news stories that people would forget about in a couple of months because the person wasn't coming back. We got a new student and she sat in your seat and she even ended up with your locker. The day the principal cleaned out your locker nearly killed me. He put everything in a box and gave it to your parents. It was like everyone had just given up." He was trying really hard not to cry. I stood up and wrapped my arms around him as my own tears fell down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry." I said quietly. His grip on me tightened.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault." He told me and I nodded.

"In those three years, did you or my parents ever find peace with me being gone?"

"No, you're my best friend and their only son. Do you really think we could have ever let you go?" I couldn't reply because I broke down and cried. I had put them through so much. I wish none of this had ever happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Oli gets made a jerk in a lot of fics. Oops.   
> Anyway, I rewrote this and read through it more than once and I just wasn't satisfied for a while. This was the only version I actually ended up liking. I hope you liked it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a hard time with this chapter. I re-wrote it a few times, but I think I'm pleased with how it turned out.

"Okay, start whenever you'd like," Mrs. Preciado said. We were doing the same thing we had been for a couple of weeks now. I would tell her a memory and then we would discuss it. I thought for a moment, trying to think of what happened after the last memory I told her. We were trying to go in order and pick apart what happened those three years. 

"Okay, um, I started to just do whatever he told me the second he told me to do it. This was after the... the submission beatings. He told me once that I was the first one to become so obedient so early and he was impressed. He said that good boys get rewards. Mine was that I didn't have to be tied down constantly when he wasn't in the room. He never let me out of the room I was kept in, but he did let me wander around it." I stopped to take a deep breath. I was rubbing my hands together and they were shaking. This was one memory I hadn't even told the police. I didn't think it mattered at the time, but according to Mrs. Preciado anything I say could be helpful.

"Continue whenever you're ready. Don't rush yourself," Mrs. Preciado told me. Jaime put a comforting hand on my arm and gave it a little squeeze.

"At that time, there was a wooden chair in the corner of the room. He would sit in it and watch me as I.... did things. I could hear when he left upstairs. I remember pacing in my room just waiting for him to leave. Finally I heard the door upstairs shut. I waited a while to make sure he really did leave. Once I was sure he was gone, I broke the chair against the concrete floor. I kept mashing pieces until I got a good piece." I stopped to look up at them. Mrs. Preciado was staring at me in a professional way though her eyes were sad. Jaime had his head down and his eyes closed. Something he did often when I talked about what happened to me.

"Once I got a piece that I though would work, I sat on the floor and I tried to cut my wrist with the piece of wood. I managed to, but not deep enough. I then heard the upstairs door again and knew he was back. I was so desperate that I closed my eyes and used all of my strength to shove the pointed end of the wood through my wrist. It worked and I pushed it almost all of the way through. It hurt like hell but I yanked the piece of wood back out because I knew I would bleed faster. I just wanted to die. I didn't care anymore." I reached up to wipe the tears away. Jaime had tears rolling down his own cheeks and it killed me to see him like that.

"And what happened when he found you?" Mrs. Preciado asked, her voice cracking a little. She held herself together well though.

"Um, I remember him coming into the room and yelling at me for being so stupid. He picked me up and took me to another room in the basement. It was set up like a hospital room. I don't know what really happened after that because he injected me with something that made me black out.... When I woke up again, I was back in my room and my wrist was bandaged up and I was handcuffed to the wall again." That was one of the worst memories.

"Did you ever try that again?" Jaime asked and I shook my head no.

"He took pretty much everything out of the room and kept me tied up unless he was in the room. Even when he was in the room, I wasn't untied for very long."

"Can you remember if he took care of your wounds? Or did someone else do it?" I shook my head.

"I always assumed he did it because he never let anyone know about me, from what I know anyway. He always told me I was his little secret." I explained and she wrote something down. I knew she told police anything that could possibly help the investigation.

"D-Does that help somehow?" I asked and she nodded.

"It could mean he has medical training. What all can you remember about the hospital type room? Was it more professional looking? Or just make-shift?" I thought back and tried my hardest to put myself back there.

"Professional," I finally said. "There were machines like you see in hospitals and I was on one of those table, bed, things they do surgery on. The whole room looked like an actual surgery room." She began writing more down.

"There's a possibility he works in or did work in the medical field at some point. That will really help the investigation, Tony." She explained with a smile. I forced a smile back. I wasn't sure how I would feel if they actually ever caught him. He would know I told them.

\----------------------

**The Next Day:**

I was sitting in class and working on my math papers. I had asked Randy if I could try being in Anthony's room for the whole day. Him and Jaime still stayed in the room with me though. When we first got in here, Randy and Anthony pulled me aside to talk to me about my safety and how I could sit to the side with Randy if it made things better. This was the first time I had been back in here. It had been almost two weeks since the first time I was in here. I had a hard time paying attention to them though because Jaime and Mike were talking and I wondered what they were saying.

"I think I'll be fine," I said with a smile. They both nodded and allowed me to go back to Jaime. Everyone was in the same seats as the first time I was here. Meaning the only empty seats were in between Mike and that Sykes guy.

"Hey, Mike agreed to sit next to that British guy and it's up to you where you want to sit. Do you want to sit on the end? Or in between Mike and I?" He asked, I looked to Mike who was standing beside Jaime. He gave me a kind smile that I tried to return.

"Um, c-can I sit on the end?" I asked and they both nodded.

"Of course," Mike said and I gave another small smile. We walked over and sat in the seats we decided on.

"Hey," the British guy said, leaning around Mike.

"Leave him alone," Mike growled, putting himself in the guy's line of sight.

"I believe I was talking to him, not you, Fuentes." He tried to lean so he could see me again, but Mike moved to stay in between us.

"I said, leave him alone." Mike's tone was scary to me, but didn't seem to faze Sykes.

"All I want to say to him that I'm sorry for the way I acted." Mike didn't seem to believe him since he didn't move.

"I-It's okay," I said quietly, getting Mike's attention. The guy leaned around to see me.

"I really am sorry. My name is Oli Sykes, by the way." I just gave him a small smile before turning my attention back to the front of the class. It wasn't time to start just yet. so Anthony was getting some things together and Randy was watching the four of us. I figure he was making sure things didn't get out of hand again. He gave me a smile when I caught his eye.

Class went by smoothly. Oli actually kept his mouth shut this time and everyone kind of ignored me, which was nice. After class though, Mike decided to follow me and Jaime.

"Hey, I was wondering if you would like to hang out sometime?" Mike asked when he caught up to me. I looked at Jaime as if Mike had asked him.

"He's a little shy. But I don't think he's ready for new people outside of class just yet." Jaime answered for me and Mike nodded in understanding.

"Can we at least be friends?" Mike asked and I bit my lip before nodding. He really was nice and I didn't want to hurt his feelings. My small nod made him smile for some reason. "Great! Can I get your number?"

"I-I don't have one," I told him and he looked at me a bit confused.

"Don't ask," Jaime told him. Mike looked between the two of us before nodding his head.

"Okay, that's fine. What about you, Jaime?" They then exchanged numbers and Jaime told Mike he could text him if he wanted to get in touch with me. While we waited for my parents, Mike stood there and talked to us for a while longer.

"There you are. I was beginning to think you ran off or some shit. Don't do that to me," said a short guy with tan skin and brown hair that came to his shoulders as he came through the door. "I asked everyone over there if they had seen you and none of them knew where you went. Anthony told me you were talking to some new kid and that I should check over here. Why didn't you text me or something?" The guy continued to scold Mike. It was a bit awkward to stand there while Mike basically got yelled at.

"My god, I'm sorry I didn't text you, but I'm fine," Mike motioned to himself as if to prove his point.

"Okay, yeah, I'm sorry, too. You just scared me. I thought..." The guy shook his head and sighed.

"I know what you thought, but don't worry." Mike told him before turning toward us. "This is my older brother, Vic." He explained, the other guy finally smiled and held out his hand. Jaime shook it first and introduced himself. Vic then held his hand toward me, but I just bit my lip.

"This is Tony, he doesn't like to be touched." Mike explained and Vic smiled at me.

"Oh, okay," he said kindly.

"Would you two like to come back to the house with Mike and I for dinner?" I knew Vic was just being nice, but that made me sick to my stomach as fear built up inside me.

"I think we'd better pass." Jaime said and Vic kept staring at me before smiling a little and nodding.

"No problem," he said to Jaime. He then turned back to me. "I really didn't mean to over step my boundaries. I'm sorry," he told me and I just smiled a little.

"It's nice to see you all getting along so well." Randy said as he came out of the back hallway. "Tony, I just got off of the phone with your parents. Their car broke down and nobody else will be able to pick you up soon. Your dad got a hold of a co-worker to come get them in about an hour and a half, but he knew it wouldn't be a good idea to have him come get you. If you'd like, I can give you a ride home, but it won't be for about twenty or thirty minutes." He explained and I bit my lip.

"A-Are my parents okay?" I asked and Randy gave me a smile.

"They're fine. A professional towing company came to pick them up and they called from the towing business." I nodded and tried to calm down.

"Yeah, we can just hang out here until you're done or whatever." I told him and he nodded.

"Great, I'll try to hurry." He said before smiling at all of us. He then disappeared again.

"This is probably over stepping again, but I could give you a ride home." Vic offered and I shook my head no almost instantly.

"Sorry, I'm just, um," Vic smiled a little.

"It's okay, Tony. I understand. Believe me, I do." He glanced at Mike for a second before turning back to me.

"Can we at least hang out with you guys until Randy gets done?" Mike asked, I looked at Jaime who shrugged.

"It's completely up to you, Turtle," he told me. I already felt that I had been really rude to them, so I nodded my head. Mike seemed a little too happy about that which made me feel uncomfortable. I still hadn't decided how I feel about Mike. He's nice, but even my kidnapper was nice until he got his chance.

We all sat on the floor near the hallway, I made sure to put myself near Jaime. Vic and Mike sat with their backs to the wall, so I sat in front of Mike with Jaime in front of Vic. We sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Mike spoke.

"So, how old are you?" He was looking directly at me, but I looked to Jaime.

"He's eighteen, we both are." He answered and Mike nodded.

"I'm nineteen. Vic is twenty-one." I only nodded my head once. I wasn't sure why I was shutting down now. "Have you ever been to Jo-Jo's?" I shook my head no.

"He hasn't been anywhere lately," Jaime said, his tone warning.

"Oh, right." Mike trailed off after that. It was awkward to just sit there and I knew Mike and Vic didn't know what to say. Though Vic seemed to know how to handle me a lot better than Mike did. "Well, they make a lot of odd food combinations. Like a peanut butter and jelly hamburger. Sounds gross but is actually good." I only smiled at him, which seemed to disappoint him. We sat there in silence for a few more minutes before Mike went to get up. He moved suddenly and quickly, which made me move away from him. He stopped and looked at me with guilt in his eyes. He tried to move closer to me and I moved away and closer to Jaime who put a protective arm around me.

"Just give him a moment," Jaime sounded mad, but I'm sure he was more worried.

"Look, I get that you're scared, I was at one point, too. But just know that I won't hurt you. Neither will anyone else here. Sure, they're all assholes, but they're harmless." Mike said, smiling when I looked at him. "I'm not trying to push you out of your comfort zone or anything, I know what it's like for someone to do that. I just want to be friends. I was only trying to get up to go get a tissue. I promise I won't hurt you." I smiled a little at him.

"Thanks.... I'm just still a little..." I trailed off trying to find the right word. He smiled again.

"I know, believe me, I know. But maybe we can try to be friends? Like you set the limits and everything? You don't have to sit close to me, you don't even have to actually talk, but maybe we can be on good terms?" He asked and I smiled again.

"Sure," I said and his face lit up. It was actually kind of cute. Not that I would ever admit that out loud.

"Great!"

"You two ready to go?" Randy asked, making me jump. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you." He sounded a bit guilty. I just shook my head.

"It's okay, and yeah, we are." I said and he smiled.

"I'm surprised you boys are still here. Vic, it's good to see you again." Randy said, shaking Vic's hand after he stood up.

"You, too," Vic replied. "Especially for a good reason," he said with a small laugh.

"Yes, definitely," Randy chuckled. "Alright, come on," he said, turning his attention to Jaime and I. Once we got out of the building, Randy and Jaime put me in between them. It made me nervous to have Mike and Vic walking behind me and Jaime picked up on my discomfort.

"Hey, do you two mind not walking behind him? He doesn't like that." Jaime told them.

"Oh, sorry," Vic said. They were soon on the other of Randy. "Well, it was nice meeting you two. And it was good seeing you again, Randy." He said, stopping at a car.

"You, too," Jaime said for both of us. Vic and Randy began talking about something and I was getting anxious just standing here. I moved closer to Jaime. I knew he would never let me get hurt and it made me feel safer being next to him.

"I'm glad you came back, Tony. I was being serious when I said everyone is harmless. What helped me get through when I first started here was something Vic said, 'everyone here is here for a reason similar to your own.' It doesn't help much at first, but it's nice to be able to remind yourself that they've been through bad shit, too." Mike told me, I just smiled a little since I wasn't sure what to say. I kept looking around the parking lot. I was expecting to see the man who took me. I was worried that he would be watching me, keeping tabs on my life. I felt like I would never be truly free.

"Are you okay?" Randy asked, I looked back to them to see all eyes on me. I looked down, not wanting all of the attention on me.

"Y-Yeah," I told him.

"He doesn't like being out in public places," Jaime explained.

"Oh, we'll let you guys go." Vic said and Mike agreed. After saying our goodbyes, we went to Randy's truck. I sat in the middle seat in between Randy and Jaime. The ride home was pretty quiet. Randy and Jaime mostly discussed music after Randy turned the radio on. It wasn't a long ride to my house anyway.

"Wh-when do you think my parents will be home?" I asked before getting out of the truck.

"Do you want to call them? See what's up?" Randy asked, fishing his phone from his pocket. I nodded and Randy dialed a number before handing the phone to me. It wasn't a long conversation. My dad said that the guy who was coming to get them texted him and said he was leaving right before I called. So they would be home in about twenty minutes. I explained everything to Randy and Jaime after hanging up.

"Are you two going to be okay?" Randy asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, we'll be fine. Thanks for the ride." Jaime told him and I smiled in agreement.

"No problem. See you tomorrow?" He asked and I nodded, making him smile. He waited in the drive-way until Jaime and I were inside before leaving. I always hated coming home to an empty house. I had a nightmare of that man breaking in when we were gone and then he tied up my parents and Jaime and made them watch while he raped and killed me. Ever since then, coming home has been a challenge for me. Everyone knew about the nightmare being the reason I have anxiety coming home.

"You okay?" Jaime asked, making me realize that I hadn't moved from in front of the door yet. I just nodded and took my jacket off before kicking my shoes off. I walked over and sat on the couch, suddenly feeling really down. I pulled my knees up and crossed my arms on them. I hated when those memories would sneak back in. They were frightening and made me basically shut down. It was like shutting down was my mind's way of protecting me. Though sometimes it felt like it only did more damage.

"Want something to eat or drink?" I shook my head no, not looking up. "Wanna watch a movie?" I shrugged, still not looking up. I heard Jaime sigh. He stood there for a few more moments before going to the kitchen. I felt tears burning my eyes. I hated hurting Jaime and my parents. It hurt them to see me like this. They say they understand why I shut down, but I don't think they do because I don't even understand it. I can be perfectly fine one minute and then like this the next.

Mrs. Preciado said it was because my mind is overwhelmed and that it's a part of depression. All I know is that it sucks. It sucks to see the pain and sadness in my parent's eyes, the way Jaime just sighs and walks away (not too far though, he stayed where I could still see him). They don't know how to handle me. It hurts to know that I'm hurting them.

I had asked Mrs. Preciado why I wasn't getting better and she claims I am, but I don't see it. I'm still scared, I'm depressed, anxious, I cry every night, I have nightmares, I'm terrified of strangers, and I hate leaving my house. How was that getting better? Sure, I'm in therapy and I'm being medicated. Was that really getting better? Was I just going to be on medication and in therapy for the rest of my life and call it getting better? That wasn't how I wanted to live.

"What'cha thinkin' about?" Jaime asked when he came back and sat beside me.

"Nothing," I mumbled. He sighed again and sat down beside me. We sat in silence for a few minutes before Jaime turned the TV on. I was worried that I had made him mad. He didn't look mad, but he was sort of acting like it. Jaime stood up and I looked up at him.

"I'll be right back," he assured me. There was a voice in my head that told me he was lying.

"You're not leaving me, are you?" I asked, the fear building up inside of me. He gave me a sad smile before sitting back down.

"No, I'm not leaving you." He said, not moving to get up again.

"Weren't you going somewhere?" I asked and he shrugged.

"Just the bathroom. It can wait until your parents get here though." That just added to my bad feeling.

\---------------

_"You thought you could get away with telling on me?" He asked before smacking me as hard as he could._

_"I'm sorry!" I cried out, trying my hardest to protect myself._

_"I'm gonna show you how sorry you'll be." I began sobbing harder when I heard him undoing his pants. I was already naked but I don't remember taking my clothes off. I was screaming in pain as he did whatever he wanted to me._

_Suddenly I wasn't in the basement room anymore. Instead I was outside somewhere. I didn't recognize the area, but something told me I needed to run. I started running toward a clearing in the trees that seemed to get farther away the closer I got. I was grabbed out of nowhere and thrown on to the hard ground before being kicked repeatedly._

_"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't do it again! I won't tell them anything else!" I screamed, apologizing repeatedly._

_"Oh, I know you won't be doing it again." He smirked at me and held up a large knife. I wanted to beg for my life, but I was too scared to do anything. He sat on top of me and held the blade close to my neck. I was trying to fight but I couldn't move. Something was holding me down. I turned to my right and saw Jaime giving me a disgusted look while holding my arm down._

_"Finally I'll have my life back and you won't ruin everything." Jaime sneered at me. I felt my heart drop. Was I really that big of a burden? I looked to the left and found Mike holding my other arm down._

_"You shouldn't trust strangers." He told me in an amused tone. He then looked away from me and back to my attacker. He pressed the knife to my neck before slowly dragging it to the side, slicing my skin open. I was screaming in pain and begging Jaime to help me. Both Jaime and Mike were laughing as my throat was cut open. They held me down while I struggled to breathe and blood gushed from my neck._

_"Jaime! Please help!" I struggled to beg one last time._

"Tony! Wake up!" I sat up quickly, fighting against the hands that were holding my arms down.

"Let me go! Please just let me go! I'm sorry!" I cried, finally breaking free and trying to get away. I ended up falling off of the bed and the pain that shot up my backside when I hit the floor. I looked around my room and saw my parents standing near by and Jaime leaning over the bed.

"Tony? Are you okay?" My dad asked. I stayed quiet and looked around the room. I finally nodded my head and moved to sit cross-legged on the floor. My mom came over and cautiously sat beside me, keeping her distance.

"I'll be right back," my dad said before leaving the room. He seemed so sad and upset before leaving.

"Do you want to get back up on the bed?" Mom asked and I nodded. She stood up first and then helped me up. Jaime moved to the other side of the bed and I sat down beside him.

"I-I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"It's okay, sweetie." Mom said, brushing some hair out of my face. I flinched away, instantly feeling bad when my mom pulled her hand back.

"Sorry," I mumbled. My dad came back into the room and handed me a mug.

"It's peppermint tea, to help you relax." Dad told me and I smiled a little before taking a sip. It was a bit awkward to have everyone sitting around me just watching me. It was like they were waiting for me to break down again.

"Are you okay now?" Mom asked, I nodded a little.

"Yeah, it was just a nightmare." I told them. Everyone stayed quiet for a while longer. "Everyone should get back to bed." I suggested but nobody moved from their spots.

"Are you sure?" Dad asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm okay now. C-Can we just go back to bed?" Everyone else exchanged looks before agreeing. My parents both kissed me on the forehead before leaving. Jaime and I sat quietly while I finished my tea. I set the cup on the nightstand and gave Jaime a smile which he returned. We both got back under the covers, but I knew the chances of me falling back to sleep were slim.

"Wanna talk about it?" Jaime asked.

"Not really... Maybe... I don't know," I said in a defeated tone. I rolled on to my side to face Jaime who was already facing me.

"You don't have to, but you can if you want to." He told me and I nodded, biting my lip.

"I-It was about the man that took me. He took me back and was punishing me for telling on him... You and Mike were there, too." I said the last part quietly.

"Why were we there?" He asked confused, I only shrugged in response as tears filled my eyes. I didn't want to think about it anymore. "You don't have to talk about it." I nodded a little as a few tears slipped out. I reached up to wipe them away. Jaime stayed quiet, just laying with me while I cried it out. He began rubbing his hand up and down my upper arm, comforting me a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, a clue! Not a good one, but a clue.  
> Also, the peanut butter and jelly hamburger really exists. I haven't had it, but my older sister's boyfriend loves it and swears that it's delicious. I haven't decided how I feel about such an invention.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's a crappy and kind of boring chapter that is actually kind of important to the rest of the story. Things will start to pick up after the next chapter. ;)

"He's still scared," I heard Jaime quietly telling my mom.

"I know, but you did say that he was starting to warm up to this Mike kid and his brother. Maybe having them over for a movie night would be a good thing." My mom argued. Neither of them knew I was eavesdropping from the staircase. They were in the kitchen talking and I overheard a little which caught my attention and I've been sitting here ever since.

"Maybe I should call my mom first? Or we should at least talk to Tony." Jaime suggested.

"Tony will just say no. Call your mom and see what she thinks. I honestly think this will be a good thing. I mean, he can get to know them a little more in a place where he feels safe." Jaime didn't reply, but I heard footsteps coming towards me. I jumped up and acted like I was just now coming down the stairs. Jaime walked past, giving me a smile as he held his phone to his ear. He went outside and I went to the kitchen. My mom was sitting at the table with her phone in her hand.

"Hi, sweetie," she greeted. I just gave a small smile. I wasn't sure how to feel about Mike and Vic possibly coming over. It had been a couple of weeks since we decided to be friends. He had asked if we could get together over Christmas break, but I hadn't given him a straight answer.

I grabbed an orange and a bowl before sitting down at the table. I used my nails to peel the orange, making a bit of a mess. My mom continued to play on her phone, most likely on Facebook. I had shut down all of my social media accounts and I didn't want my old phone reactivated. My parents had offered to get me a new one, but I didn't want one. I knew that most likely that sicko has many ways of finding me. Not having a phone doesn't mean he can't track me.

"Are you okay?" Mom broke me from my thoughts. I only nodded my head, glancing up at her briefly. After a few minutes, Jaime came back into the room, his hair wet from the snow falling outside.

"Mrs. Perry," he said, motioning towards the other room. She got up, following him. I tried to hear what they were saying. They were being too quiet and I could only catch a few words. I finished my orange before getting up. I threw away the peel and put my bowl in the dishwasher. I sat back down and tried to listen some more. After a few minutes, they both came back into the room, sitting at the table with me.

"So, you've been getting kind of close to Mike, huh?" Mom asked, I only nodded again. "Why don't you have him and his brother over for a movie night? I can go get some pizzas and maybe ice cream or something."

"I d-don't know," I said quietly. I wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with Mike and Vic. I still tried to put Jaime between us whenever I could and we don't really talk. It's mostly Jaime answering for me and Mike pretending like him and I are having a nice conversation. Vic was only around for a few minutes after class and we didn't talk either. He was really gentle though. He seems to understand me more than most people which made me wonder what happened to Mike. Any time I would do something and Vic would tell me it was okay or that he understood, he would always glance at Mike. It was like he was checking to make sure he was okay. He also gets upset if he can't find Mike after class.

"Honey, we'll all be right here the whole night." Mom assured.

"Yeah, and I can talk to them before they get here and lay down some ground rules." Jaime added with a smirk. I bit my lip, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. I looked up again, seeing the hopeful look in my mom's eyes. She really wants me to do this. I finally nodded my head.

"O-Okay, we can-we can try." I said and my mom smiled brightly at me.

"I'm really proud of you, honey. You're making so much progress." She told me. I forced a small smile, trying my hardest to push my fears away and tried to hide my shaking hands under the table.

"Come on, let's go call Mike and see what they're up to." Jaime said with a small smile. I stood up and followed him to my room. We both sat on the bed and he pulled out his phone. I felt sick and my heart was pounding. I know in the back of my mind that Mike and Vic won't hurt me, but there was still that fear. Plus, my nightmares don't help either. The one of Jaime and Mike holding me down still haunts me. For a few days after that I didn't want Jaime touching me.

"What's up?" Mike answered.

"Hey, what are you and Vic doing tonight?" Jaime asked.

"Uh, nothing much, why?"

"Tony and I were wondering if you guys would come over for a movie night? Tony's mom is getting pizza."

"Really? I'll have to ask Vic, but I'm sure he'll agree. Either way, I would love to." Mike sounded really excited.

"Okay, but I need to talk to you first." Jaime told him, glancing over at me.

"Sure," Mike said.

"You already know Tony is.... that he doesn't like being touched. So you'll still have to give him his space. Don't overwhelm or intimidate him. And don't take it personally if he doesn't want to be left alone with you."

"Of course," Mike said.

"Alright, see ya in a bit."

"See ya," I could hear the smile in Mike's voice. I felt sick as it finally set in that Mike and Vic were coming over. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. I got there just in time before puking. Jaime was right behind me.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? You can still back out." Jaime said. After I finished emptying my stomach, I got up and washed my mouth out.

"Mom was so proud of me." I whispered.

"What?" Jaime asked.

"Mom was proud because I'm making progress. If I say no and have you tell Mike and Vic they can't come over, she won't be proud anymore." I quietly said, not looking up.

"Hey, she'll still be proud of you. Tony, don't force yourself to do something you're not ready for."

"I went to that party with you to get Chris, so why is this so hard? That was full of complete strangers who were all drunk, high, and horny. This is just Mike and Vic."

"You didn't like going with me to get Chris either." Jaime pointed out. "Look, I don't know why you had the courage to go with me then. I don't know why Mike and Vic make you anxious. I can't give you answers." I stared down at the sink. I took a deep breath and exhaled before saying anything.

"I had a nightmare about the guy who took me. He was.... using me and then he took his mask off and it was Mike." I glanced over to see Jaime giving me a sad and kind of shocked look. "There's something about Mike that reminds me of that man. He looks so much like him even though I never saw his face. Am I just crazy?"

"You're not crazy, you're paranoid. Mom already explained all of that to you. This is normal for someone who went through what you did." He reminded me. She did say that. She told me that it was normal for me to be afraid of people who had the slightest resemblance to that man. Even if I don't realize the resemblance.

"Just... promise me you won't leave me alone?" He gave me a small smile and nodded.

"Of course," he replied. I took a few more minutes to compose myself before following Jaime out of the bathroom and back downstairs where he told Mom what Mike said. I sat on the couch, picking up my book and continuing to read. Jaime sat beside me, getting on his phone. I like that he doesn't bug me when I read. He understood that this was my way of escaping reality for a little while.

\--------------------

I was shaking as we waited for Mike and Vic to get here. My mom had already gotten the pizzas and ice cream. I stayed on the couch, pressed into the corner to try to make myself feel more secure. My head shot up when there was a knock on the door. Jaime got up, giving me a small smile before opening the door. Mike and Vic were both standing there with smiles. Jaime greeted them before letting them into the house. I stayed where I was, watching both of them. Vic gave me a soft smile and waved a little.

"Hey," he said. I just gave a small wave in reply. Mike, however, had a huge smile on his face.

"What's up, dude?" He asked, a bit loudly. I just shrugged a little, forcing a smile. I noticed Vic was holding a plastic bag and he must have caught me staring at it because he held it up a little higher.

"We brought some snack stuff." He announced, walking over and setting the bag on the coffee table.

"So what are we watching?" Mike asked, looking from me to Jaime and back.

"Uh, we hadn't decided. We figured we would pick that out when you guys got here. The movies are in that cabinet," Jaime said, pointing to the wooden cabinet on the side of the entertainment center. Mike walked over and opened it to look through the movies.

"What do you guys want to watch?" He asked, looking directly at me.

"N-Nothing scary," I requested quietly. Mike gave me a little smile before turning back to the movies. "A-and nothing.... um," I couldn't bring myself to say it so I looked to Jaime for help.

"Nothing with sex in it." Jaime told him, I noticed Vic give me a sympathetic look which caused me to look down. Jaime and I tried watching a movie with a sex scene in it and I got really worked up over it. That kinda scares me because what if I can never be with someone? Obviously they're going to want sex eventually and what if I can't give it to them?

"How about a Disney movie?" Vic suggested, still standing near the couch. He turned to look at me. "Can I sit here?" He asked, pointing to the couch. I didn't want to be rude, so I nodded my head yes. He sat down on the other side, leaving a place in between us which Jaime claimed. After Mike picked out a movie and put it in, he sat in the recliner near me. Once the movie started, we found out he picked Aladdin.

I stayed close to Jaime since he made me feel more secure. Mike and Vic weren't being pushy or anything, they were just hanging out with us. Eventually I calmed down a little and moved away from Jaime so I wasn't right on him anymore. I kept glancing at Vic and Mike every few minutes.

"Are you boys ready for some ice cream?" Mom asked a few minutes after we finished eating pizza.

"Sure," we all agreed. We all got up, pausing the movie, and went to the kitchen to get ice cream. I ended up standing next to Mike and my heart was pounding like it always does when I'm close to him.

"You okay?" Mike asked and I nodded, not looking up at him. "So what are you doing for Christmas?"

"Um, we're going to my grandparents house with the whole family. I'm not really looking forward to it." I admitted. I feel bad that I want to skip Christmas, but I'm not sure I can handle all of those people. Plus, my family is very touchy-feely so I'll constantly have someone touching me whether through hugs, their hand on my shoulder, arm around me, or holding my hand. It's going to be hard because I haven't seen any of them in a long time.

"Oh, yeah, the first time back around your whole family is kinda scary, but just remember that they all love you and have missed you." He gave me a small smile. I just stared at him. I wanted to know what happened to him, but it wasn't my place to ask. After we got our ice cream, we went back into the living room to finish watching the movie.

\-------------

"I know the answer is probably no, but my family always plays games on Christmas Eve and if you two want to come over for a little while, you can." Mike offered. I bit my lip and looked at Jaime.

"It's your choice," Jaime told me.

"And don't feel bad if you don't want to. We completely understand," Vic added. I nodded my head.

"I-I'll think about it." I told them. I barely can handle being around these two, how was I supposed to be around their family?

"If it makes you feel better, it's just going to be us, our parents, and our uncle." Mike explained, that was better than a house full of people. After talking for a few more minutes, Mike and Vic left.

"I think you need to have them over more often. Maybe you can even build up enough trust to accept their invite." Mom said as she began cleaning up the living room a bit. I began helping her.

"I don't know, Mom," I said. I don't want to disappoint her and she obviously is pushing for me to make friends. Maybe it was a good thing to reach out and try to make friends. Mrs. Preciado did say I would have to learn to trust people again. And Mike and Vic seem to understand what I went through, so maybe their family is the same way?

"Just, think about it, okay? If you really don't want to then I'm not going to push you. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable." She assured me. I only nodded in response.

"Um, I think I'm going to take a shower and go to bed." I told her. I was feeling a bit drained from all of the different emotions I felt tonight. Every time Mike would get too close to me, I would tense up, but then he would say something really kind or Jaime would move closer to me and I would relax.

"Okay, I love you," she told me. 

"I love you, too," I replied before heading upstairs.

I took a longer shower than what was necessary. I just wanted time to be alone and the bathroom was the only place I felt slightly secure. I still got anxiety because I was naked which made me feel vulnerable and I had no clue what was happening in the rest of the house. I normally took bathes so I could hear what was happening outside the door.

After I was done in the shower, I went to my bedroom where Jaime was talking on the phone.

"Yeah, I will.... No, Jess..... Okay, yeah, we can..... I'm sorry, babe....... I know, I'll see you then. I love you," he then pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily.

"Everything okay?" I asked as I climbed under the blankets.

"Jess is pissed off because I haven't spent any time with her since I started staying with you. She wants me to come to her family's Christmas Eve celebration. I agreed because she's majorly pissed off at me right now.... I guess I should have asked you if you're okay with that." He looked kind of guilty.

"Of course I'm okay with it." I felt bad that he spent so much time with me and none with her or his other friends. I know he missed me and says he'd rather be here, but he has to get bored just hanging out with me all day and night. The only time he ever leaves is to go to work which he worked out a schedule with his boss so there would always be someone here with me.

"Are you really thinking about going to Mike's house? Because if you decide to go there, I can tell her I can't come over."

"I am thinking about it, but I'm not sure yet. I don't want you to ditch her for me." I said with a small laugh that was kind of forced.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, I'll tell her." He told me and I only nodded.

"Goodnight, Jaime," I said, rolling over so my back was to him.

"Night," he said back. I tried really hard to sleep, but couldn't. My mind was racing and wouldn't shut up long enough for me to get some sleep. I kept thinking about Mike. Maybe going to their house, even if just for a few minutes, was a good idea. Maybe having them over more often was a good idea, too. Just to be able to learn how to build a relationship again. But if Jaime can't go with me, I'm not sure I can do it. Would I be able to go without him?

I rolled over on to my back and looked over at Jaime who was on his laptop.

"Can't sleep?" He asked and I nodded.

"Do you think it's a good idea to start having Mike over more often? At least then I can make a real decision on whether to go to their house or not, right?"

"It's completely up to you. I'm not going to tell you what to do. If you feel comfortable enough to have him over, then go ahead. If not, then give it more time." I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face.

"I don't know what to do." I admitted, looking back up at him.

"You don't have to decide right now." He told me and I nodded my head. Neither of us said anything else and I rolled back over to try to get some sleep. I was sure I wouldn't sleep much tonight, but I was used to that. I hardly get any sleep anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? Was it horrible?  
> Oh, and I know I said there would be a reason for Chris and Dalton being the way they are, but I decided to scrap the original idea involving them. The ending plot will still be the same, I'm just not using them in it anymore. So now they're just two screwed up jerks that stress out Jaime.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this seems boring right now. I swear some... interesting things are coming up. ;)

"Come on, Tony, please open the door." Jaime asked. I felt bad for making him worry, but not enough to open the door. I stayed where I was and continued to cry. I felt like I couldn't breathe and my whole body was shaking. "Tony, your parents just pulled up. Will you come out for them?" His tone was soft which made me want him to keep talking.

"P-Please, just.... just he-lp me c-calm do-wn?" I asked through my crying.

"Okay, just focusing on me then. Take a deep breath in and hold it for three seconds." I did as he said. "One, two, three, exhale. Now repeat it." I kept breathing and it helped me be able to breathe a little better.

"What happened?" I heard my dad ask as they approached the bathroom door.

"Tony and I decided to go get the mail and some guy in a van slowed down in front of the house. Tony got scared and I tried to assure him that everything would be okay and we would just go back in. Then the guy yelled to us and wanted to know if we could give him directions. Tony took off running into the house and he's been locked in the bathroom ever since." Jaime explained to them. It was such a stupid reason to be hiding in the bathroom.

"Honey, can you please come out? Everything is okay, baby," Mom told me. I didn't answer or even move. The tears were still falling. At least I stopped hyperventilating.

"Will you at least let me come in?" Jaime asked. I didn't reply.

"Okay, I'm getting worried. I'm gonna take the door knob off." I heard my dad say. I wasn't opposed to the idea. I felt frozen and I was happy they found a way to come to me instead. It didn't take long for my dad to remove the door knob. They all rushed in and found me in the pathetic state I was in. I was leaning back against the bath tub with my knees to my chest and my arms around them. I looked up at them with tears still sliding down my cheeks.

"Honey, are you okay?" My mom asked gently. I just stared at her because I wasn't sure how to reply. I was calming down now, but does that really mean I'm okay?

"Come on, let's get you to your room." Dad said, leaning down to help me up. He hesitated for a moment before placing his hand on my arm. He waited for a reaction before moving his hand to under my arm. When I still didn't react he put his other hand under my other arm before hoisting me to my feet. I still felt like I couldn't move on my own, but somehow I managed to walk to my room with the guidance of my dad. After we got to my room, my dad had me sit on the bed. My mom leaned down to take my shoes off of me before telling me to lay down. I managed to do that much on my own.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mom asked, sitting down and running a hand through my hair.

"He asked for help." I said.

"Turtle, I don't think he meant any harm. Not every person is out to hurt you." Jaime pointed out gently.

"Not that man outside. _He_ asked for help." I emphasized, hoping they would understand. By the looks on their faces, they did. "Why do people have to hurt others?" I asked no one in particular.

"I don't know, baby." Mom said, still running her hand through my hair. "But like Jaime said, not everyone is going to hurt you. I know it's hard to trust people, but you'll get there eventually."

"C-Can I take a nap?" I asked. My parents nodded their heads, told me they loved me, and then left the room. Jaime stayed so I wouldn't have to be alone. He walked over and sat in the desk chair. "I'm sorry," I felt compelled to say.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. You got scared, it's gonna happen." Jaime said and I nodded a little. "Try to get some sleep," he said in a sympathetic tone. I rolled over on to my back and stared up at the ceiling. I wasn't sure I could actually fall asleep no matter how tired I really am. I moved back to lay on my side and closed my eyes.

\---------------------

I woke up to find Jaime snoring beside me. I felt better after my small nap, but it didn't take long before I was feeling down again. Will I ever be normal again? I mean, if I can't even stand to get the damn mail how am I ever going to do anything else? I won't be able to get a job, go to college, move out, nothing. There will always be someone who makes me uncomfortable.

I jumped when Jaime's phone began going off. He woke up and turned it off before yawning loudly.

"Hey," he said when he caught my eye. "I have to get ready for work. Your dad is going to be here tonight, but your mom had to babysit for the Way family."

"Who?" I asked, pulling my eyebrows together.

"Oh yeah, you don't know them. They moved in down the road two years ago. Gerard, Lindsey, and their daughter Bandit."

"Bandit?" I questioned and he chuckled.

"They're a bit different, but they're really nice and cool. Gerard teaches art at our old high school and he also has his own band who plays gigs around here." He explained as he gathered some clothes to change in to.

"Oh," was all I could think to say. It was just another reminder that a lot changed while I was gone.

"Maybe you can meet them some time." He said before leaving the room. I heard Jaime's phone again and reached over to check it, knowing he wouldn't care.

 **"Yo, you guys up for hanging out?" - Mike.** I bit my lip and thought about it for a moment. My dad would be here and I know he won't leave me alone with Mike if I ask him not to. I finally hit reply.

 **"Sure. Jaime has to work though, so it will be you, me, and my dad. Oh, this is Tony."** I hesitated for a moment before hitting send. After reading the text over again, I felt stupid for adding who it was from. I'm sure he knew it was me and not Jaime.

 **"Great! When should I come over?" -Mike.** I told him that now would work if he wanted to. He replied and told me he would be there soon. Jaime walked back in and felt bad for using his phone without permission.

"Sorry, your phone went off and it was Mike so I replied." He chuckled.

"Dude, it's fine. What did he want?" He asked, sitting down to put his shoes on.

"To know if we could hang out. I told him yes, so he's on his way." Jaime looked a bit shocked.

"He's coming over now? But I'm leaving," he said, sounding concerned.

"Jaime, I'll be okay. I don't need you babysitting me." It came out a bit harsher than I meant for it to.

"As long as you're sure. I'll leave my phone on in case you need me." He didn't seem upset by my tone of voice, which was a relief.

"How late are you working?" I looked at the clock to see that it was two in the afternoon.

"Until close," he replied. They close at eight which means he won't be back until closer to nine.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" He asked and I nodded, forcing a small smile. "Okay, well, I have to get going. Call if you need me." Jaime told me and I nodded.

"See ya later," I said as he left the room. I decided I should go tell my dad about Mike coming over. I got up and made my way downstairs, finding him in the living room flipping through TV channels and sat down beside him.

"Hey, bud," he said, giving me a smile.

"Hey, Mike is coming over for a little while.... Is that okay?" I guess I should have asked before agreeing.

"Yeah, that's fine. What are you going to do?"

"Um, we didn't discuss that. Will you please stay with us? You know, so I don't have to be alone with him?"

"Yeah, of course," he smiled at me again. I gave him a small smile in return. He finally settled on some car show. I got comfortable and watched it with him. I debated on going back to my room, knowing I would be okay, but decided to stay with my dad.

\-----------------

I kept wiping my sweaty hands on my sweat pants as Mike and I watched the movie I picked out. We decided to watch Shrek and we were half way through. Some guy came to the door to talk to my dad. I was freaking out internally because there was a strange man standing in the kitchen and I was alone with Mike in the living room. I glanced out the corner of my eye at Mike. He seemed comfortable which is good I guess.

"You okay?" He asked and I nodded. "You know you can talk to me, right? Like about sports, books, music, anything."

"I-I'm fine." I tried to force a smile, but only managed to morph my face into what could be considered a pained expression. "Um, wh-what kind of music do, um, do you like?"

"I like mostly rock, metal, and hip-hop. What about you?"

"Um, m-mostly rock and metal." I told him, not sure what else to say. We fell back into silence and it was frustrating. How was I supposed to make friends if I can't even have a normal conversation?

"Do you play any instruments?"

"Guitar," I answered and he smiled.

"Cool, Vic plays guitar, too. I play the drums," he told me, this time I managed to actually smile.

"D-Do you like books?"

"Yeah, I don't read that often, but I fucking love Harry Potter!" He said with excitement which made me chuckle. "What about you?"

"I love to read," I admitted and he smiled a little.

"Got a favorite?"

"Um, it's kind of hard to pick." I said, not being able to think of just one book.

"That's cool. Uh, what about animals?" He seemed to be having the same problem I was. This whole friendship thing was harder than I remember.

"I love them. I used to have a dog and a turtle. The dog got sick though and we had to put him down. Then my turtle died." He chuckled a little, making me look at him in shock. How was any of that funny?

"I'm sorry, it's just the way you said that. You sounded like a little kid, "then my turtle died." He mimicked the tone a kid would use when saying that before laughing again. This time I couldn't help but crack a smile too. "I really am sorry to hear about your pets though. Have you thought about getting another? Animals help with depression." He explained after he stopped laughing.

"Do you have any pets?" I asked, wondering if he was coping with depression through companionship with a furry friend.

"Not at the moment," he explained. "When I was at my worst, Vic used to take me to the pet store to play with puppies." He had a smile on his face which made me smile, too.

"Maybe I should do that," I said without thinking. I instantly regretted saying it when I saw the sad look he gave me. Things fell silent between the two of us again, but this time it wasn't awkward. My dad still hadn't come back into the living room, but I could hear him moving around the kitchen. I figure he probably didn't want to interrupt the moment Mike and I were having.

\-------------------

Mike ended up staying the entire day. Now that it was ten at night, he was heading home. It was actually nice to have him around after I warmed up to him a bit.

"I don't want to push or anything, but have you thought anymore about coming over for Christmas Eve?" Mike asked as he put his shoes on. I bit my lip and looked over at Jaime who was sitting in the recliner closest to me.

"Um, I have, but I haven't made a decision yet." I saw his face fall a little in disappointment. I felt kind of bad, but I just wasn't sure I could handle it. Especially since I don't intend to take Jaime away from Jessica again. If I go, I'm going alone.

"That's fine, just let me know when you decide." He gave me a smile which I returned. "Would it be better if you came over before? Maybe meet my parents one at a time or something? You're welcome to come over tomorrow afternoon. Vic and my mom will be home, too."

"Um, c-can Hime and I talk it over first?" I asked and he nodded, his smiling growing.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed. "Just let me know. See ya guys later," he said before leaving. I looked over at Jaime who spoke before I could.

"It's up to you, Turtle. If you want to go, we'll go," Jaime said, smiling a little. "But I have to be at work at five because Nikki has to leave early so I'll be finishing out her shift for her." He explained and I nodded.

"Okay, well, are you okay with going for a little while?" I asked and he nodded.

"Fine with me. I'll text Mike in the morning and we can figure out what time to go over there." He told me and I nodded, giving him a nervous smile.

"D-Do you think I should get a dog?" I asked, making him chuckle.

"That was random. Why? Do you want a dog?" He asked me and I shrugged.

"I would love to get another dog. Um, Mike said they help with depression, too."

"Yeah, they do. Maybe you should get one," He said, giving me a small smile. He went back to watching TV while I picked up my book to read some before bed.

About an hour later, we were getting ready for bed. I was nervous about tomorrow, but excited at the same time. As I waited for Jaime to finish getting ready for bed, I sat on the edge of the bed and watched the snow fall outside. It was peaceful and calming. I was sure other people were complaining about the snow, but I don't think they realize how lucky they are to be able to experience these things. I went three years without seeing the sun, rain, or snow. I didn't feel the heat of summer or the cold of winter. I didn't get to see sunsets, stars, the moon, or clouds. The most I got was the nights it would storm badly and I could hear the thunder when it was loud enough. It was oddly comforting because I at least knew something that was happening outside of that small room.

"You okay?" Jaime asked, making me jump a little since I didn't hear him come back in.

"Yeah, I was just, um, thinking," I told him. He sat down on the bed beside me.

"What about?" He asked, causing me to bite my lip. I wasn't sure if he wanted to actually know. It wasn't a nice thought.

"About the snow," I said, motioning toward the window. He stared at the fast falling snow for a second before sighing.

"Yeah, it's a pain in the ass really." He chuckled, but I stared at him. That was exactly how I figured people saw it. "What?" He asked in concern.

"Nothing, it's just.... I don't know, people don't realize how lucky they are. For three years all I saw was that room and that man. I think people take this world for granted. It's gorgeous and you don't stop and realize that until you think you'll never see it again." I said, not meaning to make things depressing.

"I guess I'm guilty of that." He admitted, staring out the window. I stood up, grabbed my clothes, and walked to the door. I looked back to see him really focusing on the snow collecting outside, a kind of sad expression on his face.

\---------------------

The next morning I was woken up by a loud noise. I sat up in a panic, looking around the room. I relaxed slightly when I realized it was just Jaime. I rubbed my eyes and yawned.

"What was that?" I asked, looking around the room.

"I didn't mean to wake you up. I shoved the desk chair and it caused a book to fall." He explained, motioning towards the desk.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, knowing it would take a lot of force to make that much noise. He took a deep breath before sighing.

"I called Jess to tell her that I had to cancel plans with her today because I was going to be with you. She got upset and hung up on me. I see her side of this, too, but you need me more than she does right now." He said, running a hand through his hair. I felt really guilty now.

"You didn't have to cancel plans with her. You could have just told me you made plans with her."

"You're taking a big step here. You're making more progress and I'm happy to help you do that. I just wish Jess would understand how.... important this is to me." He told me.

"Why is it so important to you?" I asked, realizing that he was giving up most of his life for me. He's practically moved in with me, the only time he leaves is to go to work, and he seems to hover over me when he's here. I get that he missed me, -I missed him, too- but I had been home for almost three months now. It had to be getting old to only hang out with me every day for nearly three months.

"Tony, I already explained that to you. I'm happy to be here to help you get better." He told me.

"But I'm interfering with your relationships. Not just with Jess, but everyone else, too." I said, feeling a bit guilty.

"No, you're not. I'm here because I want to be here and anyone who can't understand that isn't worth my time." He said, suddenly seeming to realize something.

"Spend more time with Jess. I-I'm making progress and I want to keep making progress. I think I'll be okay for a few hours." I said and he smiled a little.

"How about this, if you feel comfortable enough after we get to Mike's, then I might leave and go have dinner with Jess. But only if you feel comfortable enough for me to leave." He said and I nodded, giving him a small smile. "Okay, I'm gonna call Jess back. Hopefully she picks up." He then got up, grabbed his phone and left the room.

No matter what, I have to be strong enough to be alone tonight. I can't keep messing things up between Jaime and Jess.

\---------------------

"Are you okay?" Jaime asked. We were sitting in his car in the Fuentes' driveway. I felt sick and was shaking like a leaf. I wasn't sure I could do this. I don't know their parents. Hell, I barely know them. This could be a trap. I could be trusting too easily. What if they kidnap both me and Jaime? I don't want Jaime to ever go through what I did. "Turtle, calm down. Just breathe." I tried to focus on my breathing, following Jaime as he took deep breathes.

"O-Okay," I said after about ten minutes of calming myself. "I'm ready." I didn't sound convincing though.

"Are you sure?" He asked and I nodded. "Alright," he said before getting out. He walked around to my side as I got out. I stayed close to him as we walked up to the front door. I found myself clinging to Jaime's jacket as I looked around. They live in a busier part of town and there were cars going by constantly and people walking past. Jaime knocked on the door and not three seconds later it opened. I figure they knew we were sitting in the driveway.

Vic was standing in the doorway and he gave me a sympathetic look when our eyes met.

"Come on in," he said, stepping aside. Jaime walked in and I followed. Even though we were inside, I didn't let go of Jaime's jacket. "Mike is in his room and this is our mom, Vivian." He motioned to a short, blonde woman with pale skin.

"Hi, you must be Jaime," she shook Jaime's hand. "And you must be Tony." She didn't make a move to shake my hand. I'm sure Mike and Vic told her about me. Plus, my story is all over the news. I'm sure she knows a lot more about me than I want her to know.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Fuentes." Jaime said, taking the attention back off of me.

"I'm gonna go get Mike. Are you two okay here?" Vic asked, looking directly at me. I nodded my head.

"Yeah, we're fine," Jaime told him. Vic smiled a little before running up the stairs. Vivian and Jaime began talking, but I didn't join. I just stayed where I was, still holding on to Jaime. The house definitely looked like a home. It was a bit messy, but that showed that a family actually lives here. The walls were a dark red color and the furniture was hunter green and dark wood. There was a book shelf next to a couch against the back wall. A couple of green recliners, and a love seat. All were facing a TV that was against the same wall as the front door.

"Hey, what's up?" Mike said, coming down the stairs with a smile on his face. Vic was right behind him.

"Hey, dude," Jaime greeted. Mike's expression softened when we met eyes. It was obvious that I was scared and I was sure they all could see it.

"Well, I'll leave you boys to have fun. I'll be in upstairs if you need me." Mrs. Fuentes said, giving us another smile before leaving.

"Do you want to play a video game or something?" Mike asked, Vic's eyes went a little wide.

"Um, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I don't think we have any non-violent multi-player games." Vic told Mike quietly.

"Oh, yeah, maybe we should do something else." Mike looked apologetic. I hated that they felt the need to walk on eggshells with me. "Um, we can watch a movie, play a board game, listen to music." Mike trailed off as he tried to think of other things.

"A-Anything is fine," I whispered. I finally pried myself off of Jaime. I had to be okay with being here so Jaime can go out with Jess.

"How about we hang out in my room?" Mike suggested, causing my eyes to go wide.

"Maybe that's not a good idea either." Vic quietly said, motioning towards me. Mike bit his lip.

"N-No, it's-it's okay," I said, looking at Jaime who was giving me a look as if to ask if I was sure. I only nodded my head.

"We'll leave the door open," Vic assured me and I smiled in thanks. Jaime and I followed them upstairs and to Mike's bedroom. It was really messy. There was so much stuff on the floor that I could hardly tell what color the carpet was. There was a small area where blue carpet was peeking out. The walls were dark purple which was kind of surprising to me. There were so many posters on the walls though that you could hardly see the paint.

"You could have at least picked up a little," Vic teased.

"This my domain, it makes me feel safe." Mike said in a joking tone.

"I don't see how this makes you feel safe. Who knows what else is living in here." I snickered a little at that, getting a smile from the others.

We mostly listened to music, talked, and joked. Jaime kept texting Jess and I knew what was coming next. I was feeling more comfortable, but now I was feeling sick.

"Hey are you okay if I head out?" Jaime asked me quietly, though the other two could hear.

"You guys are leaving?" Mike asked, sounding a bit disappointed.

"Um, no, Hime is gonna meet his girlfriend for dinner. Um, d-do you want me to leave, too?" I asked, not wanting to over stay my welcome.

"No, if you want to stay longer you can." Mike said, looking from me to Jaime.

"Yeah, I can take you home if you want." Vic offered.

"I'll try to be back in a couple of hours. But if he wants to go home before then, you can take him or I can come back and get him." Jaime said, standing up. After a couple more minutes, Jaime left.

"I'll be right back," Vic said before leaving the room. I chewed on my lip and stared at my fingers. Now that Jaime wasn't here, I had no clue what to do or say. He did most of the talking.

"So," Mike said, trailing off a bit. "I didn't know Jaime has a girlfriend."

"Uh, yeah, they've been dating for like a year and a half now." I explained. "A-Are you or Vic dating anyone?" I asked as Vic came back into the room with three sodas in his hands. I still had half a can of Coke though.

"No, we're both single." Mike answered before taking a drink of his Coke. "Though I wouldn't mind having a guy."

"Wait, you're gay?" I asked and Mike chuckled.

"Yep," he said. His smile suddenly fell a little. "Does that weird you out?"

"No! I mean, I-I'm actually gay, too."

"Cool," Mike said.

"I guess you're cool with it? Or are you gay, too?" I asked Vic, causing him to laugh. My face heated up.

"Yeah, I'm cool with it. So are our parents. And no, I'm not gay. I like boobs too much." Vic joked, making Mike and I laugh. Mike dramatically flopped back on to his bed and sighed heavily.

"Two weeks is not enough for a break." He exclaimed, making Vic laugh.

"Dude, this is just your second year." Vic pointed out, making me chuckle.

"This is your second year?" I asked and Mike nodded.

"Yeah, I started classes about three months after I got home. Math is kicking my ass though, so I'm not ready to take the GED test." He said and I nodded, not wanting to ask anything else. I didn't want him to feel like he had to explain what happened to him. I noticed Vic's face fall a little in sadness. I felt bad for bringing it up because it was obviously upsetting Vic.

"So are you in college, Vic?" I asked, remembering that he was twenty-one.

"Yeah, I am actually. I'm studying graphic design." He seemed pretty proud of that.

"Tony?" I jumped at the sudden voice and turned to see Mrs. Fuentes standing in the doorway. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to know if you were staying for dinner? Where did Jaime go?"

"He went to meet this girlfriend for dinner." Mike explained.

"Um, I-I don't want to intrude." I said and she laughed a little.

"You're not," she assured.

"Um, okay, sure," I said. I felt my heart pounding from all of their eyes watching me.

"Okay, great," she said before leaving the room again.

"I'm just gonna give you a heads up that our dad will be here soon. He's really nice though and there's no reason to be afraid of him." Mike said, smiling a little.

"O-Okay," I replied. I had kinda forgot about their dad. Hopefully it won't be that bad.

\--------------

My heart was pounding as I waited for Mr. Fuentes to come into the house. Mike reassured me that the car in the driveway was just their dad and my nerves were getting the best of me now. I sat kind of close to Mike who didn't seem to mind. I just needed the comfort of someone I knew. The door opened and a Hispanic man walked in. He looked a bit rough, but his eyes were kind which made me calm down a bit.

"Oh, hi," he greeted me.

"Dad this is Tony," Mike said, gesturing to me.

"Nice to meet you. Mike told us a lot about you." I wonder what exactly he had told him? Mr. Fuentes gave Mike's shoulder a squeeze as he walked past him and into the kitchen. Maybe this wasn't as hard as I thought. The Fuentes family was really nice and welcoming.

"See, they're not so bad," Mike chuckled. I smiled a little and nodded.

"Come on boys, it's time to eat." Mrs. Fuentes called. We got up and went into the kitchen with the rest of the family. The food looked just as amazing as it smelled. Mike basically served me since I was too shy to do anything myself. The others didn't seem to mind though. They all talked about their day. Vic talked about the progress he was making on some project he had to do over Christmas break. It sounded pretty cool. I just sat quietly and listened while I ate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless self promotion, lol. If you like me and want to see my real talent and passion check out my Facebook page for my photography and give me a "Like." https://www.facebook.com/truliinspiredphotography/?ref=hl
> 
> Anyway, I hope this wasn't too horrible.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE END!

"Have you thought anymore about going over to Mike's for Christmas Eve?" Mrs. Preciado asked, I nodded my head.

"I think I'm gonna go. Even if just for like fifteen minutes. It would be easier if it was just them, but with their uncle coming.... I don't know," I let out a heavy sigh, rubbing my hands together. Christmas Eve is tomorrow, so I had to be making a final decision soon.

"It's a big step. Are you sure you're ready?" She asked.

"Do you think I'm ready?"

"I can't tell you that. If you feel like this is something you need to do, then we'll all support you." She looked like she was thinking. "Are your medications helping any?"

"Yeah... When I take them," I admitted. Jaime's head shot up.

"You haven't been taking them?" He asked and I shrugged.

"N-Not every day."

"Why aren't you taking them?" Mrs. Preciado asked.

"S-Sometimes I just forget. Or it just... feels like I can't get up and get them. Like just the idea of getting up is exhausting."

"Jaime, will you start giving them to him? We won't know if they're working if you don't take them the way you're supposed to." I felt bad for skipping. I guess I should have asked Jaime or my parents to take over that stuff for me. I know they would have done it.

"Yeah, I'll take over," Jaime said, looking at me with a sad expression. I hated that look. It came across like I had disappointed him. I didn't want to disappoint any of them.

"Have the nightmares improved?" She asked.

"Not really," I admitted.

"I can prescribe you something to help you sleep. It should also help control the nightmares." She told me.

"I don't want more pills!" I snapped, feeling frustrated. "I'm already on, what? Four? Is that how my life is going to be from now on? Just popping a hundred pills a day and make believing I'm okay? Is this going to actually help in anyway?" I felt a bit bad for snapping at her, but she didn't seem upset by it.

"Tony, I can't tell you how long you'll be on medications. There's no shame in it though. Some people with PTSD improve with time and can stop taking medications. Others need it for life. Some people improve in six months, others take a little longer."

"I'm going to take longer, aren't I?" I asked, causing her to sigh.

"It's possible," she told me. I let out a heavy sigh before falling back into the chair.

\-------------------------

"Are you positive you're ready for this?" Jaime asked. We were sitting on my bed and getting ready to head over to Mike's house. It was noon and he was dropping me off there, making sure I'm okay, and then heading to Jessica's.

"Y-Yeah, I think so." I said, taking a deep breath.

"Alright, well, we should get going." He said and I nodded. I stood up and followed him downstairs. I told my parents bye before leaving. I felt bad leaving them on Christmas Eve, but they assured me over and over that it was okay.

When we got to the Fuentes home, I clung to Jaime again. I recognized all of the cars in the driveway which meant the uncle must not be here yet. I was kind of hoping Jaime would be here for me the first time I meet their uncle. What if I freak out because of him? What if he doesn't understand or respect my need of personal space?

"Hey, come on in," Mike greeted after opening the door. I managed to smile at him when our eyes met. We walked inside and were greeted by Vic and their parents.

"Are you staying, Jaime?" Mrs. Fuentes asked.

"No, ma'am, I'm going to my girlfriend's house today." He replied politely. He turned to me. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly.

"Um, wh-when is your uncle getting here?" I asked, looking to Mike.

"Uh, he should be here in about thirty minutes." He told me.

"Will you be able to stay?" I asked Jaime, really wanting him to say he could. The look on his face told me otherwise.

"Yeah, I can, Jess will be pissed at me for being late, but she'll get over it." I felt bad after that. I didn't want to keep taking him away from Jess, but I also wanted him to stay.

"I think I'll be okay," I whispered.

"Hey, we're all right here. Uncle Marcus is really nice. He went through everything with me, too. He understands your type of behavior." Mike explained quietly, causing a tense and heavy feel to settle in the room. I bit my lip before nodding.

"You go ahead, Jaime. I-I'll be okay," I told him. He seemed unsure but finally agreed. After assuring me I could call him if I need him, he left.

"Well, are you boys ready to start baking cookies?" Mrs. Fuentes asked with a smile. Vic and Mike agreed and followed her to the kitchen. I followed too just to stay close to them. I stayed back and tried to let them have their family time, when I was suddenly hit with handful of flour.

"Michael," Mrs. Fuentes said with a laugh. Both Vic and Mike were laughing. I couldn't help the wide smile on my face.

"Come on, Tony," Mike said, motioning to me. I chuckled and walked over to where they were at, dusting off what I could of the flour. Mrs. Fuentes gave me some instructions on what to start on. I was mostly quiet, just laughing at the lame jokes shared between the two brothers. It was the first time I was actually happy since getting home. I wasn't scared or on edge. I was just having fun. Then the doorbell rang.

"Oh, that's probably Marcus." Mrs. Fuentes said. My heart was pounding as I heard Mr. Fuentes greet someone. Then I heard that voice. It sounded like.... No, that's not possible. I'm just being paranoid. Mrs. Preciado said paranoia comes with PTSD.

"Are you ready to meet him?" Mike asked me. I bit my lip but nodded my head.

"C-Can I hold on to you?" I asked, my face heating up. I realize it's a stupid thing, but it makes me feel secure. He gave me a somewhat sad smile and nodded.

"Of course," he said. I hesitated for a moment before gripping on to his arm. I allowed him to lead me into the living room where the others were greeting Marcus.

"....Yeah, I just got back from the cabin. Maybe your parents will let you boys come up for a few days while you're on break." Marcus's voice sent chills down my spine. It was deep and rough, but at the same time had a charming under-tone to it. Marcus was an attractive guy who didn't look old enough to be either Fuentes parent's sibling. His black hair was short and messy, his skin was tan but not dark, and his eyes were brown. When we met eyes, his seemed to have a slight humor in them.

"Uncle Marcus, this is our friend, Tony." Mike introduced me.

"Hello, Tony," Marcus greeted. Those eyes, that voice, that smile.... No, no, no! It's not possible! I felt my stomach churning and took off running for the bathroom. I barely got there in time before I started throwing up.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked, standing behind me. I waited until I was done to answer.

"That's him," I was close to breaking down. I gagged again, but nothing came up this time.

"What do you mean?" Mike asked.

"That's _him_! Marcus took me." I couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down sobbing, gagging every now and then.

"Oh, no, Tony, that's not him. Uncle Marcus would never hurt someone, especially a kid. He's not the man who took you.... Do you want to go home?" He offered and I nodded my head.

"Please?" I asked, looking over at him. He was crouched down beside me and rubbing my back gently.

"Alright, come on, let's get you cleaned up." He helped me stand up and that's when I realized Vic was standing in the doorway with a sympathetic look on his face. Mike got a Dixie cup and filled it with water before handing it to me. I rinsed out my mouth a few times and then he offered me some mouth wash which I gladly accepted. After I was done cleaning up, I followed Mike and Vic back into the living room. I kept a firm grip on Mike's arm.

"Vic, will you tell them I'm taking Tony home?" Mike asked as he got our jackets. I let go of him long enough for us to put them on.

"Yeah," Vic said. "Happy Christmas Eve, Tony."

"You too," I told Vic. I followed Mike out of the house and to his car. He made sure I was in before going to his side and getting in. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"It's okay, Tony. It happens," he told me. I was trying to control myself, but couldn't. I broke down crying again. Part of me knew the possibility of that being the same man was very slim, but the other part of me _knows_ that was him. I heard that voice every day for three years and it was the main thing I learned to identify him by. I think I would know it if I heard it again.

Mike suddenly pulled off to the side of the road and parked. My stomach began churning with fear because I wasn't sure why we were stopping. I looked over to see Mike staring straight ahead. Did I offend him by accusing his uncle? Was he mad at me? Was he going to hurt me? I felt a new wave of tears this time from fear.

"Hey, don't cry, it's okay." Mike said softly, turning in his seat to face me. He used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe my left cheek. "It really is okay. I know what you're going through. I used to hear my captor's voice a lot, too. My first day at Step Forward I swore Randy was the man who took me. The difference is that I actually saw my captor. I know what he looks like, but I was still afraid of people who reminded me of him. Randy looks a lot like him and my mind tricked me into believing it was him." I stared at him, sniffling a little and wiping my eyes.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but what happened to you?" I asked nervously, hoping I didn't over step my boundaries. He stayed quiet and stared out the window for a moment before taking a deep breath and looking at me.

"When I was fifteen we had a science teacher who I was incredibly attracted to. He started giving me a lot of attention, more than what was necessary. My friends kept telling me to stay away from him because he gave them the creeps, but I didn't listen. He offered to help on a project I was struggling with and I jumped at the chance to spend time with him outside of school. I knew my parents wouldn't let me go to a teacher's house alone, so I lied to them and said I was going to the library, which should have been a dead give away that I was lying.

"When I got there, it was kind of boring because it was just strictly school work. I thought that I had been stupid to think that a teacher would actually initiate a relationship with a student. Then things changed and he kept putting his hand on my leg..... One thing led to another and I slept with him." He paused with his jaw clenched. I wasn't sure if he was going to continue or not.

"Our little relationship continued for a few months. I thought he really loved me, but he just loved having sex with me. One day, he asked me to stay the night with him. I lied to my parents and told them I was staying at a friend's house. Our parents were never really strict so that's really all the information they required, they weren't going to call the friend's house unless it was an emergency and couldn't reach me on my cell phone. Anyway, I stayed with him and as always we slept together. More than once actually." He paused again and I saw his eyes shining. He was close to crying.

"You don't have to keep going if you don't want to." I said, knowing it was hard to talk about this stuff. He shook his head.

"No, I'm okay," he insisted, taking another moment to compose himself. "I was woken up in the middle of the night by a bunch of voices. I wasn't worried because in my mind I was safe with Josh. I was so wrong though. He came into the room followed by four other men I had never seen.... I'll spare you the gruesome details, but basically all four of them paid Josh to have sex with me. I fought, but Josh stepped in and it was the first time I had ever been hit by him. He handcuffed me to the bed and the other men had their way with me.

"I remember just laying there after it was over. Josh kept telling me how good I did and saying I was going to make him a lot of money. The next morning, the handcuffs were removed and I was moved into a room in the basement. I was locked in a room and forced to sleep with multiple men. I stopped fighting after a while and just let them do whatever they wanted. Mostly because I would be beaten if I didn't satisfy the men. I didn't want to be beat anymore, so I just allowed it to happen." I saw him wipe away a tear that slipped out. I had tears sliding down my cheeks, too. My heart broke for him. I didn't know what to expect his story to be, but this was horrible.

"Then, when I was seventeen, it just stopped. I heard him leave for work, but he never came back. I'm not really sure how long I was alone, but it felt like weeks. Then I heard the door upstairs being broken down and I was terrified. I didn't know what was happening or what was going to happen to me. Then the door to the room I was in was broken down and an FBI agent was there. They got me out of there and to the hospital." He stopped again, this time allowing the tears to fall.

"They never found Josh. He got tipped off that the FBI was looking for him and he fled. I wasn't the only kid he had trapped in his basement. That's why Vic hovers over me no matter where we go. Josh is still out there somewhere, most likely with a new name and look. Most traffickers move their workers to a new, secure location, but he just left us. I don't know why he left us, but I'm happy he did.

"I didn't want to stay in that town anymore. I couldn't handle it. So we moved here. I got a therapist, was put in Step Forward, and started to recover. The first like, seven or eight months I was home, I was just like you. I was scared and timid, I didn't like going anywhere, and I didn't like being touched. Vic slept in my room with me every night and hovered over me when he could through the day. He wanted to stay home from school to take care of me, but I told him not to. I was home with Mom through the day and I told him I would be okay." He cleared his throat. "Now you know my story," he seemed awkward now and I understood why.

I just stared at him because I wasn't sure what to say. There wasn't anything I could say. After a few minutes of us just sitting there, he put the car in drive and started toward my house again. I was in shock by what I just heard, so I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure what he was feeling or thinking, but he didn't speak either. We finally got to the house and he got out to walk me to the front door. I invited him in, but he declined. Once I was safely inside with my parents, he left.

My parents kept asking if something happened, if I was okay, and why I had flour all over me. It wasn't hard to see that I had been crying. I asked if I could just take a nap and they let me. I had a hard time falling asleep since I was alone in my room, but I finally managed to.

\-----------------

I woke up a few hours later and got up to go to the bathroom. I could hear talking downstairs and knew Jaime was home. After I finished in the bathroom, I went downstairs, stopping to listen to them in the kitchen.

"Mike said he got scared by their uncle. He thought their uncle was the man who took him and wanted to come home." Jaime told them. He must have called Mike. At least I won't have to tell them myself now. I walked the rest of the way down and into the kitchen. All eyes were on me as if they were waiting for me to freak out. I just walked past them and to the fridge. I pulled out the stuff I needed to make chocolate milk before grabbing a glass. I could feel their eyes on me as I made my drink, but I tried to ignore it.

"Wanna play some games?" Jaime asked and I shrugged. I wasn't really in the mood.

"Sure," I said, not sounding convincing at all.

"Are you sure? We can do something else." Jaime said and I shook my head.

"No, games are fine," I said, forcing a smile. Mom went to get some board games and we all sat at the table to play Monopoly. I was happy none of them had asked about what happened. I could barely focus on the game because Mike's story kept going through my head. Then my mind went to Jaime. It was still early in the day when I woke up. He left Jessica to come check on me. I'm sure that wasn't going over well. I was ruining their relationship. I was broke from my thoughts by Jaime's phone going off.

"Hey.... Yeah, he's right here," he held the phone out to me. "It's Mike," he told me. My hands were shaking as I took the phone. I got up and went to the next room for a little privacy.

"H-Hello?"

"Hey, are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I am," I replied.

"That's good. My uncle feels bad about what happened. I was wondering if you want to come with me and Vic to Uncle Marcus's cabin? I know it sounds scary, but I promise it will be okay. We're heading up Monday and he'll be at work when we first get there. If you want, you can hang out with us until he gets home and then I can bring you home? It's only a three hour drive." I bit my lip as I thought about the offer. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here," I said. "I can leave before he gets there?"

"Yeah, of course, and Jaime's welcome to come, too, if that makes you feel better." He added. I thought some more about the offer.

"O-Okay, maybe just for a while," I agreed.

"Great!" He exclaimed. "We'll be there to pick you up at five A.M." He told me.

"Okay," I said.

"Talk to ya later?" He said more like a question.

"Yeah," I said. We then said bye and hung up. I sat there for another minute before returning to the kitchen. "Um, Mike wants to know if you and I want to go to his uncle's cabin with him and Vic?" I told Jaime who seemed unsure.

"Is this the same uncle from today?" Mom asked and I nodded.

"Mike said his uncle won't be there and he'll bring us home before his uncle gets off of work." I looked back at Jaime.

"Do you want to go?" He asked and I nodded my head. I actually kind of did want to go even if I am scared. "Okay, let me call Jess real quick."

"Wait, why?" I asked, pulling my eyebrows together.

"She wanted me to go with her somewhere, but it's okay. I can just tell her I can't go." He gave me a smile, but I felt really guilty.

"No, you don't have to go with me. Unless you really want to. I don't want to keep taking you away from her." He looked down at his phone and then back at me.

"Are you sure?" He asked and I nodded my head. "Okay, but if you change your mind, tell me. Jess will understand," he said. I knew that was a lie. She hadn't understood the other times. To her, I'm just a burden who keeps stealing her boyfriend.

"I will," I promised, giving him a small smile. We went back to playing games, but my mind kept racing. I was trying to convince myself I was just being paranoid. Mrs. Preciado said I would be. Even Mike said it was normal and he's gone through it, so I'm sure he knows what he's talking about. He learned to trust Randy, so I can learn to trust Marcus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so my family has been going through some crap this past year that we thought was resolved, but apparently isn't. My dad is forcing my mom to pay him forty-thousand dollars and we auctioned off a house we were renting out and got half of it. Well, now he's demanding the rest in full. We just got a letter in the mail yesterday saying that the court has ordered for our house that we're living in to be auctioned off on April 20th. That means we'll be without a home.  
> My mom is trying to get it so we can make payments to dad on this so we can stay in our house, but I don't know if it will work. If we do lose the house, we'll be moving in with my grandparents until we can figure out how to get a place of our own. My grandparents don't have internet, so I won't be able to update while living with them. I'll have to give up my cell phone until I can find a job otherwise I would just update using it.  
> I'll still be writing though after we get settled in, and I'll try to mooch some WiFi off of family members if I can and update, but no guarantees. Also, if we can't make payments, we'll spend the next two months packing and moving the two hours to our grandparents house. If we have to do that, I won't have much time to write, but I will try to update at least one more time before I'm without internet.  
> Uh, yeah, so I'm really sorry about all of this and I hope it doesn't come to that. If you could, please keep my family in your prayers. We don't want to move, but we don't really have a choice. But we'll be okay no matter what happens because all of our aunts, uncles, and cousins live near our grandparents, so they'll take care of us. If I can't update before moving, I'll post an Author's Note chapter to let you all know what's going on.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get too excited. This chapter sucks, but I decided to write a Christmas chapter before they go to the cabin, so this is kind of a filler chapter. 
> 
> Also, thank you to anyone showing concern for my family's situation. We're all doing okay and have everything figured out. I know a lot of you aren't religious, but I am and my whole family got together at my grandparent's church to pray over the situation and we were anointed with oil. In my belief, I know God is taking care of us and I believe our house will not be taken away. Of course, if God has a different plan for us that includes us moving away, we'll be okay. :)

"Do we have to go?" I asked, feeling my stomach twisting into knots. It wasn't that I wasn't looking forward to seeing all of my family, it's just that I'm scared. Would I get overwhelmed? Would I spend the day hiding away from everyone and making them think I'm not happy to see them?

"Honey, it will be okay. They're all excited to see you again and they'll respect your boundaries." Mom told me. I scoffed.

"When has our family ever been known to respect boundaries?" I asked, untangling my earbuds. My mom didn't reply and neither did Dad. I stuck my earbuds in and turned the volume up until I couldn't hear anything else. My parents had gotten me an Ipod for Christmas among other things and I was really grateful for it. I rested my head against the window and shut my eyes. I tried to use the music to drown out my anxiety. It only helped a little. I wish Jaime was here, but he went home last night to be with his family today.

The rest of the ride was spent with my blaring music and ignoring the reassuring phrases said by my mom. I wasn't mad, I was just anxious. Once we parked in front of Grandma and Grandpa's house, my stomach dropped. There were already a lot of cars here. The house looked the same as I remember it though. The small, red brick building with a small concrete porch that had a glider seat sitting on it and a patio table. Everything was covered in snow except for the pathway leading to the house which had been shoveled.

I jumped when I felt a hand touch my knee. I quickly turned my head and relaxed a little when I saw my mom. She pulled her hand back instantly, looking guilty. I removed my earbuds so I could hear what she was saying.

"Are you ready, honey?" I took a deep breath and looked back toward the house. Was I ready? They were all going to want hugs and I'm not sure I can handle so many people touching me. "If you want, I can go in and talk to everyone first. Let them know not to crowd you or touch you without permission?" It was embarrassing that I needed someone to do that, but I nodded my head in agreement.

"Please?" She gave me a sympathetic smile which I was getting tired of seeing from people. She then got out and went inside while Dad stayed in the car with me. I hadn't even seen my grandparents since getting home. I wanted to see them, but I hadn't felt ready yet. I still wasn't sure I was ready, but it's Christmas. I skipped Thanksgiving which I still feel guilty about because it meant my parents had to skip, too. My mom cooked a small Thanksgiving dinner at the house though and kept insisting that it was fine.

After several minutes, my mom came back out and told us that everyone was ready for us. I took a few calming breaths before getting out of the car. My parents stayed on either side of me as they walked me to the house. I found myself clinging to my mom out of habit.

"Tony!" I jumped slightly at the voice which belonged to my grandma. She came forward and held her arms out, waiting for me to come to her. I stepped forward and hugged her. I felt secure in her tight grip. Next was my grandpa, but nobody else tried to hug me. Everyone greeted me though. They were already on eggshells because of me and I didn't like it. I didn't want people to walk on eggshells around me, I just wanted them to respect my need for space.

"Your cousins are in the basement if you want to go down." Grandma told me. The basement was just one room and they had turned it into a small hang out for the kids in the family.

"Um," was all I managed to get out.

"I'll come with you, honey," Mom said. Everyone smiled as I passed them, but nobody tried to stop me. If this were three years ago, it would take me an hour just to get to the basement. I was happy that the basement didn't look like a basement. The staircase was carpeted and the well lit. The basement walls were covered with dark, wooden panels to cover up the concrete. The floors were the same cream colored carpet as the stairs and there were two, ugly, green couches side-by-side and two wooden chairs with brown cushions in the seats. The only thing that was different were the two, large, black beanbag chairs. The TV was on, playing the classic version of A Christmas Carol and six of my cousins were sprawled out around the room, eating caramel corn and cookies.

"Tony, what up, man?" Joey asked, a huge smile on his face. He was the cousin I had been the closest to growing up. He looked really different now though. His dark brown, straight hair came to his shoulders and was covered by a black beanie. He had facial hair now, too. He had also bulked up a lot over the last three years. His blue eyes were still just as bright and joyful as they've always been.

"Not much, man," I replied, walking over and sitting beside him on the couch. I looked back over to my mom and gave her a smile, trying to assure her that I was fine. She gave me a small nod before heading back upstairs.

"They hovering over you like a hawk?" He asked, offering me the cookies he had on a plate. I took one and took a bite before replying to him.

"Yeah, but they're just worried. I see you got some ink." I said, pointing to his arm where a hand print was tattooed. He held his arm out so I could see it better.

"Yep, my dad's hand print. I also have these," he said, holding out his other arm which was halfway covered in a sleeve. "I'm still working on it, but it's David and Goliath themed."

"Sweet," I said, looking over the tattoos. "Is that your dad's actual hand print?"

"Yeah, it's his actual hand print. That's the tattoo I'm most proud of." He explained with a smile. "You should let me take you to get some ink."

"That would be awesome!" I exclaimed with a smile. "So what else is new with you?"

"I'm the drummer for After Edmund." He explained, seeming proud of his accomplishment. Last time I had seen him, he was still only drumming at his church and in his bedroom.

"Sweet, dude!" I said and his smile grew wider. I looked around at my other cousins. They kept glancing at me as if they weren't sure what to do or say. Joey was acting like he always had.

"So what's new with you?" Joey asked, getting my attention again.

"Um, I'm in this program called Step Forward to help me get my GED." I said, not knowing what else to tell him. I was sure he didn't want to hear about my therapy sessions, nightmares, and how I can hardly stand to be alone.

"Do you like it?" I shrugged.

"It's okay, I mean, it's just school work. Jaime goes with me and the teachers are great. There's a student there named Mike who I've become friends with, him and his brother Vic. We've spent some time together and he's helping me recover." I stopped myself, realizing Joey probably doesn't want to hear about that either.

"That's good," he hesitated for a moment. "How's the recovery going?" His tone was lower now. I rubbed my hands together and nodded a little.

"Um, it's going okay, I guess. I mean, it's a slow process." He gave me a smile.

"Recovery is recovery, bro. Whether you recover in a day, or five years. All that matters is that you're still recovering." I smiled a little and nodded my head. "So tell me about this Mike." My face turned pink, causing him to laugh. Joey was the first person I told that I was gay to.

"He's cool, we've been hanging out at each other's houses and I'm going with him Monday to his Uncle's cabin." Joey raised an eyebrow at that.

"His uncle's cabin? Is that his pick up line to get a little something-something from you?" I chuckled and rolled my eyes, a bit surprised that his joke didn't make me uncomfortable. Maybe because it's Joey? 

"No, it's not, we're not into each other like that." He caught the lie right away and started laughing.

"Yeah, sure," he teased.

"Okay, maybe I do like him, but I doubt he likes me. He's gone through a lot of shit, too. I don't think dating is good for either one of us right now." I pointed out and Joey nodded in agreement.

"Just take things slow and you never know what might happen."

\--------------------------------

I spent most of the day with Joey since he was the only one not treating me odd. He was just the same old Joey. He would bump his shoulder against me while laughing, he teases me, and talks like it's only been a few weeks since we'd seen each other. Everyone else acted like I was a stranger. They gave me odd or sympathetic looks, kept their distance, and were extremely careful of what they said to me. Most acted like they expect me to freak out and become dangerous if they were too close.

It was late and we were getting ready to leave. Some people had already left. I was sitting with Joey on the couch while Mom said bye to everyone which takes a while.

"You should text me sometime so we can hang out some more." Joey told me.

"Um, I actually don't have a phone. But I can give you Jaime's number and you can reach me through him. He's basically living with me now." Joey laughed a little and nodded his head.

"Alright, then give me his number." He held out his phone and I took it. I put in Jaime's number and handed it back to him. He glanced down at the number. "Cool, I'll shoot you a text sometime."

It was another thirty minutes before we finally left. I was happy to be leaving. Joey had been the only good thing about coming.

"Did you have fun, sweetie?" Mom asked, I shrugged.

"It was okay," I told her.

"Joey seemed happy to see you."

"Yeah," was all I said. Now that I was in the car where it was calm and less crowded, I was feeling overwhelmed. There were so many people, so many awkward conversations, so much said between Joey and I. I had to take some time to process everything. It was the most interaction I'd had since getting home.

The rest of the car ride was spent with music blaring in my ears. I was really thankful for this Christmas gift.

\-------------------------

I was feeling anxious about the trip with Mike tomorrow. He told me it would just be the two of us since Vic had some other things to take care of first. He would be meeting us up there some time after noon. I had to keep repeating to myself that I would be okay. Mike's not going to hurt me. He knows what it's like to be hurt, there's no way he would put me through that. Right?

"Honey?" I jumped at my mom's sudden voice. I looked up to see her with her eyebrows pulled together.

"Y-Yeah?" I asked, closing the book in my hands. I had been staring at the wall blankly, paying the book no attention.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"Okay," she said, not sounding convinced. She stared at me for another moment before speaking again. "Are you sure going tomorrow is a good idea? I don't want you pushing yourself too much."

"I'm not," I lied. I know they wouldn't judge me if I backed out, but I still felt they would be disappointed. They're so proud of my progress. I can't take that away. "When is Jaime getting here?" I knew she didn't know the answer. I just wanted to get the attention off of me.

"I'm not sure. Do you want to use my phone to text him?" I shook my head no.

"That's okay," I said. I wasn't really concerned with when he'll be here. Mom seemed satisfied because she went back into the kitchen. I picked up my book and tried to read again. Jaime had stayed with his family yesterday because of Christmas, then he stayed the night with Jessica. He was supposed to be coming back over some time today though. I was trying to not be selfish and wish he were here already. He's probably happy to finally spend some time with someone other than me.

"What'cha doin', bud?" Dad asked, sitting down beside me.

"Reading," I told him. I had been on the same page for the last thirty minutes though. My mind was too distracted to focus on the book.

"Oh," was all my dad said before turning the TV on. I went back to staring at my book while my mind wandered. I couldn't keep myself from thinking about Marcus. I replayed his voice in my head several times, pairing it with my attacker's voice. They were the same. I know it's the same voice. But why would Marcus attack me? He has two nephews he's obsessed over and is apparently really good with. Their parents feel secure enough to leave their kids alone with him in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. He's never hurt them. So why would he hurt me? Evil people like that man don't have loved ones. They don't care who they hurt. Right?

"Dad?" He hummed to let me know he was listening. "Do, um, do kidnappers have loved ones?" His full attention was on me now.

"I assume they have family. Everyone does," he said, his eyebrows pulled together.

"No, I mean, like, can they love people?"

"Where's this coming from?" He asked, I shrugged, too embarrassed to tell him. "As sad as it is, yes. They're not all creeps who give people chills. They can be parents, someone's sibling, someone's favorite aunt or uncle. Sometimes the person they kidnap was a family member who trusted them." I stared into his eyes for a moment while he searched mine. I adverted my gaze to my lap.

"Why are you asking?" He paused to let me answer, but I didn't. "Do you think you know who took you?" He asked carefully. I shook my head no before thinking about it and nodding. That made him sit forward quickly, his feet leaving the coffee table they were propped on to hit the floor hard.

"Was it someone at Christmas? Did you recognize someone? Or something?" He asked, making my heart start pounding.

"No, it wasn't someone in our family." I assured him. "Um," I looked from him to the kitchen doorway where my mom was now standing. Should I tell them? They'll never let me go with Mike tomorrow if I tell them.

"N-Never mind," I mumbled.

"No, if you think you know who it is, you need to tell us. Even if it's not them, the police can interrogate them or something. Right?" Dad looked over at my mom who shrugged. She walked over and sat between me and my dad.

"Honey, if you think you saw him somewhere, you need to talk to us. Where do you think you saw him?" Mom asked.

"I-I don't even know if it was him. Mrs. Preciado said that paranoia comes with PTSD. I'm probably just being paranoid. My brain is going to manipulate me into believing he's around." I tried to explain. I wish I hadn't brought this up.

"Tony, if you keep second guessing these things, he could get away with what he did. If you think you know who it was, then we need to tell the police. You could be right." Mom pointed out. I just shook my head. They can't force it out of me.

"Tony, can you please tell us who you think it is?" Dad asked, I shook my head no. Mike and Vic would never forgive me if I got their uncle arrested and interrogated. Dad sighed and ran a hand over his face. He stared at me like he was thinking. He was probably picking through every single person I've been near over the last few months. Which really wasn't a lot.

"Did you see him at Step Forward?" Dad asked, I shook my head no again. "Hanging out with Mike?" I shook my head no. "That night you went with Jaime to get Chris?" I shook my head again. "Then where did you see him? Along the road?"

"Can we just forget I brought it up? I-I'm just being paranoid. It's nothing," I stood up and practically ran to my bedroom, ignoring their calls for me to come back. I sat on the bed with my legs crossed and leaned forward to put my head in my hands. I shouldn't have brought that up. There's no possible way it was Marcus. I can't accuse him and have Mike and Vic hate me.

"Honey?" Mom asked, I lifted my head up to look at her. "Are you okay?" I shrugged, looking down at my hands.

"Yeah, I think so. I'm sorry," I mumbled. She moved to sit next to me and wrapped her arms around me.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. Do you want to do something? Maybe watch a movie? Play a game? Play cards?" I shook my head no.

"Not right now." She nodded a little.

"Okay, do you want me to stay here with you? Or will you be okay alone?"

"I'll be okay," I told her, smiling a little.

"Okay, we're right downstairs if you need us." She then gave me a kiss on my temple before leaving. I sat there and looked around the room. I didn't realize just how much I had been depending on Jaime until he's been gone for over twenty-four hours. My eyes landed on the laptop sitting on my desk. I hadn't used it since I got home. Jaime used it when he was here and we'd watch YouTube on it every once in a while. But I had never actually used it myself. I know that man could find me easily. He knew my name and where I was from. He probably even knows where I live. If he really wants me back, he won't have to try to use technology to track me down.

I finally sighed, stood up, and grabbed the laptop. I opened it up and went to YouTube. I didn't have much else to do since I deactivated all of my social media accounts, even my Tumblr. I stared at the home screen and tried to think of something to look up. After about ten minutes, I opened my music playlist.

After twenty minutes of watching music videos, I opened a different tab. My heart was pounding as I typed in a new search. _'Marcus Fuentes San Diego, California.'_ I chewed on my bottom lip and tried to find the courage to hit search. Would he be able to know that I searched him? I wasn't even sure he was Mr. Fuentes' brother. What if he's actually their mom's brother? I don't know her maiden name. He looks like Mr. Fuentes in a way though. Plus he has tan skin while Mrs. Fuentes has pale skin. What if I do find something about him? What if he does have a record?

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed heavily. But if I don't find anything, I'll have more peace being around him. Do kidnappers have records though? They're evil people so they probably have done other things. I finally hit search. I looked over the stuff that came up. One caught my attention. I clicked the link and read through what it said. It was a free record website. It had Marcus Fuentes written in large letters at the top and basic information about him. There were a few other Fuentes' including Mike and two Victors.

I read through what little information was on the main page. Besides some traffic tickets there was nothing listed. There was a place where you could enter your email and get a full report sent to you for free. I was scared to do it though. Does that mean he has more to his record than traffic tickets? What if he had done something really bad? I didn't get to decide whether to enter an email address or not because Jaime came into the room.

"What'cha doin'?" He asked, flopping down on to the bed. I quickly closed the tab so that YouTube was the only thing open.

"Just watching music videos." I told him. He hummed in response, laying on his back with his eyes closed. "Did you have fun?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, my family is exhausting and so is Jessica's, but they're all awesome. What about you?" He opened his eyes and turned his head towards me.

"It went okay. Everybody acted like I was a stranger or like I was going to break. Except for Joey. I gave him your number so he can get a hold of me, I hope you don't mind."

"Nah, I always liked Joey," he said before yawning and closing his eyes again.

"Are you tired?" He nodded his head.

"Jess and I stayed up late last night. Then she dragged me around the mall today."

"Oh," was all I said. "Why didn't you stay with her again tonight?"

"She wanted me to, but I wanted to come back and hang with you for a while. Oh, that reminds me." He stood up and left the room. He was gone for several minutes before coming back with a couple of bags. "Merry Christmas!" He shouted, setting the bags down. I felt bad because I hadn't actually gotten him anything for Christmas. My parents got him some stuff, which he opened before leaving, and they just put my name on them.

"You already gave me gifts." I pointed out.

"I know, but I got these while we were at the mall today." He said, taking the wrapped presents out of the bags. "Go on," he said, handing me one of them. I began opening them, a smile on my face the whole time. He had gotten me new clothes which I was thankful for. My parents had gotten me clothes, too. I had just been wearing the clothes I had from three years ago, which was fine with me, but it was nice to have new clothes, too. There was also some hats, a pair of sunglasses, and a couple of books.

"I hope you like those books and don't already have them. They seemed similar to what you read." Jaime explained.

"Thank you so much. You really didn't have to get me anything." I said and he shrugged.

"You're welcome," he said with a smile. I got up and began putting my new clothes away while Jaime told me more about his Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone curious, Joey is the cutie in my profile picture. And I love his tattoos! 
> 
> The next chapter will be so much better than this one! I promise!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter that my horrible writing skills ruins.   
> Also, I think I screwed up. They live in San Diego and I write about snow a lot... Does it even snow in San Diego?

After I had showered and had gotten dressed, I made sure to take my medication. After swallowing the recommended amount of pills, I stared at the bottle. I have a potentially stressful day ahead of me, so what's a couple more pills? I shook out two more of my anxiety pills before swallowing them. I know I would be scolded for taking more than what I was supposed to, but it's not like I do this often. This was the first time and I kind of need the extra help.

"Got everything?" Dad's voice made me jump and whip around. "Sorry," he looked guilty.

"It's okay. Yeah, I think so," I said and he nodded. He came into the room with a bag in his hand.

"Your mom and I would feel better if you took these things with you." He said, holding the bag out. I took it and set it on the bed. I began taking out the items.

"Pepper spray? A taser? A cell phone?" I was a bit shocked.

"Yeah, the phone is just one of those cheap phones. We already activated it and everything. We just wanted to be sure you can defend yourself in case anything happens." He explained. I forced myself to smile.

"Thanks," I said. I put the phone in my pocket and the self defense items in my back pack. My dad stood with me while I finished shoving stuff into my back pack. It wasn't much, just some stuff I might need today.

"Your mom wants you to take the first aid kit, too." I chuckled a little before leaving the room to go grab it. I stuck it in my pack under my extra change of clothes.

"Anything else?" I asked and he shook his head no.

"If you need anything, even just to talk, call us, okay?" I nodded my head. He smiled and pulled me in for a hug. "I gotta get going to work. I'll see you tonight. I love you."

"I love you, too." I replied, letting go of him. Before I had been kidnapped, I hardly heard those words. Only when I was going to be gone for a long time or if I was hurt. Now my parents tell me it just because they can. It's nice to hear, but it makes me feel like they didn't love me as much before.

\---------------------------

The car ride was spent listening to music. Mike would occasionally say something which I would give a short reply to. The good thing was that the car ride wasn't awkward. It was a nice. Mike would sing along to the radio which made me smile. Once we started getting closer to the cabin, Mike started pointing out things that had memories attached to them. I enjoyed hearing the stories.

"So, how about I show you around a bit, then maybe we can go for a hike or something. We can also go fishing if you like that." Mike said as he began unloading the car. He had brought all of Vic's bags up along with his own. I stood next to Mike while he unloaded the car. The outside of the cabin was beautiful in a simple way. It wasn't some over the top cabin. It was a decent size, had a small porch with a swing and a railing going around it. There was very little cleared space around the cabin though. Basically just enough for cars to be parked and a picnic table.

"It's not much, but we love coming up here. We used to practically spend the whole summer up here." Mike explained, grabbing a couple of bags. I grabbed a couple, too.

"It's nice," I smiled. He unlocked the door and I followed him inside. As soon as I stepped inside, I froze. The dark green carpet, the heavy, brown curtains, the wooden furniture. I felt my breathing pick up.

"Hey, you okay?" Mike dropped the bags he was holding and tried to grip on to my arm to steady me, but I pulled away from him. _Stop it, Tony! You're just being paranoid! You've never been in this cabin before. Marcus didn't take you._ I repeated it over and over in my head. This looked so familiar though. No, I'm just being paranoid.

"Tony? Hey, it's okay," Mike tried to assure me. I looked over at him, realizing that we were both sitting on the floor. When did that happen? "What's wrong?" He asked after I calmed down a little. I looked around the room again. It looked familiar, but I was trying to convince myself it was different. The curtains. They were dark green. Marcus's curtains are an ugly brown. This couldn't be the same place. Why would he get new curtains? But what if I'm wrong? What if they were brown and my brain was tricking me into thinking they had been green? No, they had to be green. This couldn't be where I was kept.

"I-I wasn't kept here," I whispered.

"What? No, no, Tony, you weren't. Is that what this is about? My uncle would never hurt you like that." I tried to get myself together, figuring that Mike was getting tired of me accusing his uncle. "Come on, let's go on that hike. It'll take your mind off of things." He offered a friendly smile which I tried to return.

"Wh-What about the bags?" I asked, looking around at the suitcases.

"I'll bring the last of them inside and we can just leave them here. I'll also leave a note for Vic. I know it'll still be a few hours, but just in case he gets here early or we're not back yet when he gets here." He explained and I nodded. He got up and left to grab the last of the bags. I sat there on the floor and looked around. I looked back towards the door before getting up. I walked around the room and looked at everything. It was pretty plain. No artwork or pictures, no plants, no book shelves, nothing.

I started towards the small kitchen. The place I stayed in had the basement door in the kitchen. That's not uncommon, but if I could just confirm that the basement is just a normal basement....

"What'cha looking for?" Mike's sudden voice almost made me fall back to the floor.

"N-Nothing, I was just, um, just looking." I glanced back towards the door in the kitchen. It's possible that it's just a pantry. It's going to drive me crazy until I can open it.

"Are you okay?" Mike asked, his tone soft and concerned. I nodded my head, giving the door one last glance before walking back over to Mike. Then I remembered one other room I had seen.

"Wh-Where's the bathroom?"

"There isn't one. We just go outside," Mike told me. I wanted to believe he was joking, but his tone and face were so serious. Then he burst out laughing until he cried, making me laugh, too. "The look on your face was priceless!" He cried, holding his stomach as he laughed.

"It's that door right there," he pointed to one of the three doors at the back of the living room. I walked over and opened the door on the left with a shaky hand. I sighed in relief when nothing in the bathroom looked too familiar. It just looked like a bathroom. A white bathtub, a dark wooden vanity sink with cabinets under it and a mirror hanging over it. There was a toilet in between the vanity and tub with a shelf above it that had towels folded on it. "Are you okay?" I turned around to see Mike giving me a worried look. That's when I realized I had just been standing in the doorway staring at the bathroom.

"Y-Yeah," I said, feeling a bit embarrassed. I walked into the room and shut the door because I really did need to pee. It took a little more convincing than I'd like to admit to actually use the bathroom. There was something weird about the bathroom. It doesn't look familiar so I should be at peace. But I wasn't. I felt like my brain was just tricking me. Part of me wanted to argue that this had to be the place I was kept. Then the other part of me was trying to be rational.

I took an embarrassingly long time in the bathroom just because I couldn't get myself to undo my pants. I was finally done though and back out in the living room where Mike was sitting on the couch. My face turned bright red. Had I really spent so much time that he sat down to get comfortable?

"Now I gotta piss," Mike chuckled. He went into the bathroom, leaving me alone again. I found myself walking back towards the kitchen. If I could just see the basement then I would know. I grabbed a hold of the doorknob but couldn't bring myself to open it. "Why are you so fascinated with that door?" I jumped again, whipping around to see Mike.

"I, um, I...." I wasn't sure what to say to him. How do I tell him I was trying to confirm that his uncle didn't keep me captive here? "I just want to know what's behind it." He gave me a weird look, like he knew what I was really looking for.

"It's just the basement. He doesn't use it for much. Just some old stuff he doesn't have much use for." He told me, I nodded. "Ready to go?" I nodded again. He motioned for me to follow him.

"I'm sorry," I felt compelled to say.

"For what?" He asked, locking the door behind us. I shrugged.

"I-I'm not sure," I said. I felt bad for constantly accusing his uncle of being a kidnapper. I know he'll only stand for so much before he gets mad.

"Alright, let's grab our back packs then we can head out." He told me with a smile.

\----------------

"Can we stop again?" I asked, making Mike chuckle.

"Sure," he answered. We sat on the ground and he got two water bottles out of the back pack he was carrying. I was thankful he had mostly packed water since I hadn't packed any.

"I'm really sorry I keep stopping." I said, trying to control my breathing. I'm really out of shape.

"It's okay, Tony," he told me for the hundredth time today. "The whole point of this hike is to have fun. And if you're miserable the whole time, it's not fun. Besides, stopping gives us the chance to relax," he explained, laying down on the ground. He put his arms behind his head and closed his eyes.

"I just... haven't had much exercise," I mumbled.

"It really is okay. It took me a while to get back into shape after I got home, too." I stared at him. How could he talk about it like it's no big deal? He opened his eyes and I looked away. "What?" He asked in a curious tone.

"How can you talk about what happened so easily?" I stared down at my hands, picking at a loose string on my black gloves.

"There's no reason to be ashamed of surviving. You went through a lot and, if I'm being honest, you shouldn't have survived. But you did and you should be proud of that. That doesn't mean you should tell everyone every little detail about what happened. But there's no shame in your recovery. I talk about my recovery a lot because I'm still recovering and it helps. I mostly talk to Vic, though." I looked over to see him with his eyes closed again. I wasn't sure what to say, so I took in my surroundings instead. It looked like a normal forest, nothing too special, though it was beautiful. There were a couple of patches of snow left that hadn't melted yet.

"What'cha thinkin' about?" He asked, looking over at me. I moved to lay down beside him, staring up at the clouds through the trees.

"It's pretty up here," I told him.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed. We fell into silence again, both of us staring at the sky. I hadn't realized how much I needed this get away. I hadn't gotten much fresh air since being home and I definitely hadn't been too relaxed. Laying here with Mike was relaxing. I really needed this.

\---------------------

After a couple of hours of being out, we decided to head back. It was close to noon and Vic should be getting to the cabin soon.

"Wanna help me make lunch when we get back?" Mike asked, glancing over at me.

"Sure, what are we making?"

"Is chili okay with you?"

"Yeah, that's fine," I smiled a little.

"Good because that's the only thing I can make," Mike laughed, causing me to laugh, too. We then fell into a comfortable silence. "So, I've been meaning to ask you about something," Mike nervously broke the silence. I swallowed hard, afraid of what he wanted to ask.

"O-Okay?" I said, trying to control myself. I can't start shaking. He's just asking a question.

"You said that you're gay, right?" I nodded my head. "Well, I was kind of wondering.... if maybe.... you would like to go on a date some time? Please don't feel pressured to, you can say no. I won't be mad." He assured me. I bit my lip and stared at the ground. I hadn't expected him to ask that. "Never mind, it was stupid." He forced a chuckle.

"No, it wasn't stupid. It's just..." I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I wasn't sure how to turn him down in a kind way though.

"You're scared, I get it." I looked up at him, shocked how well he really did understand me. "If you're not ready for that, I understand. What if we just kind of hang out more, get to know each other better, and see where that leads?" I gave him a small smile and nodded my head a little.

"O-Okay, we can, um, we can do that." I said, trying to sound happy about it. It wasn't that I didn't want to date Mike, I was just scared. I have a lot of baggage. I'm nothing but damaged goods and nobody wants damaged goods. Right? Then again, Mike had been through the same thing as me. I don't view him as damaged goods. He's amazing.

"I won't hurt you or anything, okay? We don't have to do anything you're not ready for. Hell, there's some things I'm not even ready for yet." His tone was kinda sad as he said that.

"Wh-Whose car is that?" I asked when we got close enough to see the cabin. There was a black car parked next to Mike's. It wasn't Vic's, I know his car.

"Marcus's," Mike said, sounding just as confused as I felt. Except now fear shot through me instead. Marcus wasn't supposed to be here.

"I-I thought he was supposed to be at work? Where's Vic?" I asked, feeling the panic start rising in me. Mike stopped and turned to face me.

"Hey, it's okay," he assured me in a soft tone. "Maybe he got off of work early or something. And Vic is on his way. Everything's going to be okay." I nodded my head, taking a few more deep breaths before following Mike the rest of the way to the cabin. Once we walked inside, the smell of food hit us. It smelt amazing, but I wasn't sure I could eat anything. My nerves were twisting my stomach into knots.

"There you two are. Where did ya take off to?" Marcus asked as we walked into the kitchen.

"We went out on the trails. Why are you here?" Mike asked, opening the fridge and taking out two Cokes. He handed one to me and I quietly thanked him.

"I talked to my boss about leaving early," he said simply. He was frying something in a skillet and focused all of his attention on it. "How do you like the place, Tony?"

"I-It's nice," I replied, trying to keep myself under control.

"Sorry to surprise ya, I hope I didn't freak you out too much." Marcus laughed a little, turning his attention away from the skillet. I only shook my head no. I wasn't able to find any words.

"You boys hungry? I got venison burgers in the oven and potato mush." He explained, motioning to the skillet.

"Wh-What's that?" I asked, gesturing toward the skillet.

"Something I came up with. It's mashed potatoes, sweet corn, country gravy, and green beans." Marcus explained, stirring the contents again.

"It's amazing," Mike told me with a smile. I stood off to the side as Mike and Marcus moved around the kitchen to start eating. Mike made up a plate and handed it to me. "Ketchup and stuff is in the fridge door." I nodded and opened the door, getting what I wanted to make my burger. I had never had venison, but it can't be too bad since so many people eat it.

"So, any plans for your future?" Marcus asked once we all sat at the table.

"Um, I hadn't really thought about it, I guess." I answered, taking another small bite of my food.

"What do you like to do?" I shrugged, not sure what to say.

"Um, I used to be really into music and art." I explained, feeling awkward with both of them watching me. "Wh-What do you do?" I asked, hoping to get the attention off of me.

"I work in a hospital lab." I only nodded, not sure what to say.

"I noticed the Thom's finally got their house up," Mike said, saving me from the awkward attempts at conversation. I was so thankful. I listened to Mike and Marcus talk about people they knew and finished my food. I was much happier to just sit and listen.

"Why don't I clean up here and you boys can help yourselves to some ice cream." Marcus said, smiling as he began cleaning up. Mike cheered a little, causing me to laugh, before going to the fridge and opening the top door. He began making us each a bowl. I stood close to him as he moved around the kitchen. After he was done, he led me into the living room to sit on the couch.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Mike asked, I shrugged.

"If you do," I said. He stood up and put in a movie. Neither of us really paid much attention to the movie. It was just background noise while we ate. Shortly after we had both finished eating, I started feeling really tired. I figured it was just the fatigue catching up with me. I barely got an hour of sleep the night before. I noticed Mike was getting a bit drowsy, too. Mike yawned and stretched out a bit more, falling asleep pretty quickly. I was fighting to keep my eyes open. I felt weird. My head was cloudy and my vision was becoming fuzzy. It got to the point where I could barely keep my eyes open. I ended up leaning forward, falling on to Mike before I fell asleep.

\-----------------------

My vision was blurry when I woke up. I tried to sit up, but couldn't. I gave up and laid there to let my vision become focused again. It took a couple of minutes and a lot of blinking, but it finally cleared up. I saw wooden support beams above me and what looked like the underside of another floor. I glanced around and saw concrete walls. I began getting scared and tried to sit up again, not being able to.

"M-Mike? Mike!" I called, feeling the fear and panic setting in. Why can't I move? I looked towards my hands that were above my head. They were tied down. My legs were tied down to. I was tied to a bed. "Mike!" I cried more desperately.

"Tony? It's okay," Mike's groggy voice said. I looked around the room again, spotting Mike in the corner of the room. One of his hands was cuffed to a metal bar.

"Mike!" I basically screamed. Tears were starting to fall from my eyes. This can't be happening. I can't be tied down. Mike can't be handcuffed. This can't be happening. I heard the sound of a door opening and then footsteps. Marcus came into the room as Mike was struggling figure out where he was.

"Nice to see that you boys are finally awake." Marcus said, smirking at us.

"M-Marcus? What's going on?" Mike asked, suddenly alarmed. He yanked at the handcuff holding him in place. Marcus didn't answer, he just pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

"Vic? I haven't found them yet. They're not at any of the stops on the way here and they're not at the cabin." Marcus sounded panicked. Who was he talking about? "Vic, Mike's car is here, but they haven't shown up yet.... All of the bags were sitting by the car and the trunk was open. I think if they just went for a hike they wouldn't have left the bags there and the trunk open.... Okay, yeah, I'll be back down in a few hours. I want to look around some more." Marcus then hung. Mike's car? What was he talking about? We brought all of the bags inside and shut the trunk.

"What the hell?" Mike asked, sounding scared but trying to look tough.

"I had to keep Vic from coming up here somehow. It's amazing how quickly him and your parents can be tricked. All I had to do was say I got a phone call from you that was just yelling and then the line went dead. I swear an hour later they had all of California out looking for you. And don't worry, Tony, Vic has alerted your parents of your disappearance." His tone was too friendly. It was like he was talking to children.

"Disappearance? What the fuck are you talking about, Marcus? Why are we tied up? What the fuck it going on?" Mike yelled, yanking harder at his restraints.

"We're gonna have some fun, that's what's going on." Marcus said, turning to me with an evil smirk on his face. I broke down and began sobbing.

This can't be happening. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor babies! I feel horrible! D':   
> I originally wanted this to be longer, but I decided to end it there to torture everyone because that's fun.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted this chapter to be longer, but what I have planned next will have to be the next chapter otherwise this one would be weird.
> 
> And thank you so much to everyone reading!

"What the hell are you talking about? Let us go!" Mike yelled, trying desperately to break free. I didn't bother. I just laid there and sobbed, accepting what was going to happen.

"Stop it!" Marcus snapped, glaring at Mike who just glared back. Mike stopped pulling at the cuffs and sat still, glaring daggers at his uncle. "Like I said, we're just going to have some fun." Marcus walked closer to me. I squeezed my eyes shut out of fear. He began running his hand over my chest.

"Don't fucking touch him!" Mike yelled, yanking at his restraints again. Marcus just laughed and moved his hand lower. He rubbed his hand in between my legs, the whole time Mike was yelling at him to leave me alone. It did nothing to stop Marcus though. He moved his hand back up my body, sliding it under my shirt. I let out a whimper of fear. I felt like I was going to throw up and my whole body was shaking.

"As soon as I got home after letting you go, I regretted it. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that Mike had befriended you. It made getting you back so much easier." Marcus's voice was breathy, like he was getting worked up. I let out another cry when he began undoing my jeans. Mike had fallen silent, but I could still hear his cuffs rattling against the bar. I cried out in fear when Marcus pulled my jeans and underwear down to my ankles. I finally looked over at Mike and saw that he was crying and staring at me. I squeezed my eyes shut again. I didn't want Mike to see me. This is humiliating enough and it was only worse to have someone watching.

Marcus reached down to untie my legs before taking my pants the rest of the way off. He then untied my hands just to tie them back but with longer ropes so I had more use of my hands.

"Don't just fucking lay there! Tony, fight back!" Mike yelled at me, his voice cracking. I shook my head no, keeping my eyes squeezed shut. "He's too well trained, Mike. He knows better than to fight me." Marcus said smugly. He grabbed me and forced me to roll over on to my stomach. I cried out again as he stuck his fingers in me. I buried my head into the smelly mattress and sobbed. This can't be happening. I don't want to go through this again. It hurts too much.

I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe as Marcus climbed over top of me on the bed. Mike was basically screaming at Marcus to stop. Mike wasn't angry anymore though, he was desperate. He was sobbing and begging Marcus to leave me alone. I screamed when Marcus forced his way inside of me. I kept screaming through out the attack. It hurt so much.

"Fuck, three months away from me and you're already so tight." Marcus told me. I balled my hands into fists, trying my hardest to ignore what was happening to me. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to go home. Why did I have to agree to come on this trip with Mike? Why couldn't I had just stayed home? Why didn't I ask Jaime to drop his plans with Jess and come with me? No, if I had done that, Jaime would be here right now. I wouldn't be able to handle him getting hurt.

Finally after what felt like ever, Marcus was done and getting re-dressed. I didn't move though. I kept my face pressed into the mattress, sobbing hard.

"Pl-Please let me take care of him? Please, Marcus? I c-can't just sit here and do nothing for him. Please?" Mike begged, sounding so broken. Marcus didn't say anything. I heard the door open and close before it was locked. Then the upstairs door slammed shut. "I'm so sorry, Tony. I-I didn't know. I should have listened to you. I'm sorry. I didn't know." Mike kept repeating over and over, crying the whole time. I wanted to comfort him but couldn't. Nothing would make this better.

I whimpered in fear when the upstairs door shut again. He was coming back. Why? He already got what he wanted, right? Was he coming back for Mike? I don't want to lay here and listen to Mike get raped by his uncle. His trust for Marcus had already been shattered, it would kill him to be hurt by him. The door was unlocked and opened.

"Can't have you trying to run off," Marcus said. "This is just until I know if I can trust you." He said. I dared to look over and saw him with a long chain. He hooked it to the metal bar Mike was cuffed to before locking the large cuff around Mike's left ankle. He took the handcuffs off of Mike before glancing back at me. He then left, locking the door back and going back upstairs. The second the upstairs door shut, Mike was at my side. The chain was long enough that he could sit on the edge of the bed with me. I turned to bury my face back into the mattress.

"It's okay, Tony. It's just me. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm so sorry," he cried. "I-I'm going to put your boxers back on you, okay?" I felt him moving my feet and had to fight the urge to scream in fear. He carefully moved the fabric up my body until I was covered again. He then gently straightened out my shirt. He began rubbing my back, doing his best to offer me comfort.

"A-Are you hurt?" He asked, trying to control his crying. I nodded my head. There was no point in lying to him. "I'm so sorry, Tony. If I had known..." He trailed off, breaking down again. This was traumatizing to him, too. Even though he hadn't been hurt, he was forced to watch it. It probably caused flashbacks of his own. And to make it worse it was done by someone he had so much trust and love for.

\------------------

I stared up at the ceiling, feeling numb. Mike was laying in what looked like an uncomfortable way next to me. He had exhausted himself to the point that he passed out. The chain gave him just enough slack that he could lay with me, but he had to stay on the edge of the bed with his left leg off of it. Plus the mattress wasn't designed for two people anyway. I didn't mind having him pressed against me though. It oddly made me feel safe. I knew in the back of my mind that Mike couldn't protect me from Marcus, but it was nice to have the comfort.

I had been staring at the ceiling and thinking over everything, making myself cry a few times. There was no way I was getting out of here this time. He regretted letting me go the first time. He wasn't going to let me go this time. But what about Mike? Was he just going to hold his nephew hostage as well? Would he... dispose of Mike to keep him quiet? Was he really heartless enough to harm his own nephew?

I heard Mike take a deep breath before he stretched out. I looked over to see him open his eyes. He seemed confused for a moment before our eyes met. He then seemed to remember what happened. Neither one of us said anything though. There wasn't anything we could say. We both know what's going to happen. Neither one of us are going to make it out of here. Not alive anyway.

"H-How long do you think he'll be gone?" Mike asked, glancing towards the door. I didn't answer. "Maybe we can break down the door." He then stood up and turned to look at me.

"I'm gonna untie you, okay?" I shook my head no.

"He'll get mad, you can't untie me." I argued, feeling my heart speeding up.

"Tony, we can't just sit here! We have to get out!" I shook my head no again, tears sliding down my cheeks.

"H-He'll kill me," I whispered. Mike's expression softened and he reached down to wipe my cheeks.

"I won't let that happen." He then turned and went to the door. He began slamming himself into the door.

"Mike! It won't work. The door opens in, you'd have to actually break the door to open it." I pointed out. I wanted to get out of here just as badly as he did, but it was useless.

"Then we'll break the fucking door!" He stormed towards me, making me whimper in fear. "Oh, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. But I need your help." He reached up and began untying me. I struggled and begged him not to, but he did anyway. I had to admit though, I felt much better having my wrists free. The ropes had been too tight. Mike held my hands in his, staring at the rope burns on my wrists until I pulled my hands away.

"W-We can't break the door," I told him.

"Well, we can't just sit here and give up. We have to at least try. Come on," he motioned for me to follow him. We ran at the door several times, but it did no good. The door would making cracking and popping noises, but never broke. "Come on, we have to keep going," Mike told me, running at the door again.

"Mike, it's not gonna break," I told him, starting to cry again. Mike finally gave up, staying pressed against the door. He finally moved away and looked around the room.

"Damn it! If only we had something to break the door knob off with."

"H-He has more than one lock. Breaking the door knob wouldn't work." I explained, feeling hopeless. Mike began kicking the door, yelling curses the entire time. I shrunk away from him out of fear. I went back to the bed and looked at the ropes. "M-Mike, you have to tie me back up." He turned around and looked at me in shock.

"What? I'm not tying you up!"

"Y-You have to. If he comes back and sees me untied..." I trailed off, not being able to say it. He would hurt Mike.

"You don't deserve to be tied up." Mike said softly.

"Please," I begged. I could tell that part of Mike still saw his Uncle Marcus, the person who would never hurt him, but I know the other side of him. He'll hurt Mike if I'm not tied up when he comes back.

"If we hear him come back... I'll tie you up then." He told me, I only nodded. There was no point in arguing with him over this. Mike came back over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I-If we got the door open, we still couldn't get away. You're chained," I reminded him.

"We would have figured out something." I stared at him while he stared at the door.

"W-Will you lay down with me?" I whispered, getting his full attention.

"Of course," he told me. He laid down and got as close to comfortable as he could. I hesitated before laying down, too. I laid my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry, Tony."

"Don't blame yourself, you didn't know," I pointed out.

"But you knew. You knew the first time you met Marcus. I should have listened to you. If I had just listened to you we wouldn't be here." It sounded like he was about to break down again.

"You didn't know," I repeated. He didn't say anything else. He began rubbing his hands up and down my back. At least I have Mike this time around. Well, for now anyway.

\------------------

I was a shaking mess when we heard Marcus return. I tried to get away from Mike, afraid that Marcus would get mad that we were laying together. Mike's grip tightened on me so I couldn't move.

"It's okay," he assured me. I could hear the fear in his voice though. Marcus moved around upstairs for a while before coming down.

"Well isn't that cute." Marcus said in mock kindness when he saw us. Mike was glaring at him and holding me tightly.

"Let us go. We won't tell anyone." Mike told him, trying to sound tough, but his voice wavered a bit. Marcus chuckled before coming towards us.

"I believe you were tied up when I left." His cold eyes met mine briefly before I looked away again.

"I untied him," Mike told him.

"And why would you do that?" Marcus asked, then seemed to realize something. "Oh, I get it, a little cuddling after fucking, huh?" He chuckled again.

"I would never hurt him like that." Mike told him. Marcus stood with his arms crossed and watched us.

"We'll see about that," he smirked. "Get up," he ordered. I tried to move out of Mike's grip, but he held on tighter.

"You're not hurting him," Mike said, glaring at his uncle. Marcus was still smirking. He walked over and grabbed Mike's arm, yanking him out of the bed and on to the floor. He let go of me to catch himself on the floor. I heard him grunt and he stayed where he landed for a few moments, looking like he was in pain.

"No!" I screamed when Marcus pulled out a gun. He pointed it down at Mike. I broke down sobbing. He couldn't kill Mike.

"Shut up!" He yelled at me, looking back down at Mike. I saw the fear and betrayal in Mike's eyes. "Tony, take your clothes off." He ordered, still staring at Mike. I sobbed as I did what I was told. Marcus smirked at me and then looked back to Mike.

"Get up," he ordered Mike who slowly got up off of the floor. Marcus pulled something out of his pocket and tossed it to Mike. "Take your cuff off." Mike did as he was told, bending down and unlocking the ankle cuff.

"Leave him alone," Mike said. His face was demanding and hard, but his tone was begging.

"Fuck him," Marcus demanded. Mike's eyes went wide and my heart stopped.

"No! I'm not hurting him!" Mike said, looking shocked that his uncle would tell him to do that. I let out a scream when Marcus used the gun to hit Mike. He shoved Mike to the floor and began kicking him. I watched in horror, wishing I could do something to make it stop.

"Get over here!" Marcus yelled, yanking Mike up by his arm. He dragged him over and handcuffed him back to the metal bar. Mike was yelling and fighting him the whole time. After he had Mike secured, he turned back towards me. I shut my eyes and sobbed. "Because of you, he's gonna get it worse." Mike began begging Marcus to leave me alone, saying he was sorry over and over. Marcus climbed on to the bed and shoved me down, forcing me on to my stomach again.

\--------------------

"Maybe next time I tell you to fuck your little boyfriend, you'll do it." Marcus told Mike. I finally turned my head to look over at Mike. He had dried blood on his face and looked so broken. "You can fucking stay there tonight. And you," Marcus turned back to me, making me whimper in fear. He flipped me on to my back before tying me up again.

After Marcus left, I looked over at Mike who was still crying.

"You should have just done it." I whispered, getting his attention.

"Tony, I'm not hurting you. He can fucking beat my head in, I don't care. _I'm not hurting you_." He put as much emphasis into his sentence as he could.

"I don't want you to die. I can't be here alone again. Please, Mike, if he tells you do to it again.... Just do it," I begged. Mike bit the inside of his cheek and turned away, more tears falling down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Tony," he repeated. I didn't say anything else. I stared up at the ceiling and cried. I was still naked and he hadn't covered me up so I was getting cold. I wish Mike could help me get dressed and then hold me to warm me up. I wonder if I could make Marcus mad enough that he would just kill me? He's going to kill Mike eventually, probably soon if Mike keeps fighting him. I would rather be beaten to death than stay here alone for the rest of my life.

"M-Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to go home." I broke down crying again.

"I promise we'll get out of here. I just need to think of a way." He assured me, sounding like he was going to start crying again. All of the things I would never be able to do again began running through my head. I won't see my family, I won't see Jaime, I'll never be able to get a job, get married, have kids. I'll never be able to go to another country. "What are you thinking about?" Mike asked. I was still crying and knew I couldn't explain everything so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm never going to see the new Star Wars." I realized instantly how pathetic that made me sound. Mike chuckled a little.

"Sorry, it's just, Star Wars? Really?" He asked, laughing again.

"I didn't get to see it." I told him.

"We'll watch it when we get home." He said, offering me a smile.

"Mike, we're never getting out of here!" I cried, feeling my chest tighten.

"Yes, we are."

"How?" I asked, looking over at him.

"I don't know, but we'll get out of here. I promise," he told me. I only nodded my head before staring back up at the ceiling. His promise meant nothing. We're never getting out of here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FEEL SO HORRIBLE! MY POOR BABIES!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took longer than I thought it would. I got kinda stuck on this story. Plus life has sucked big time recently. We got some bad news regarding the house, the guy I thought loved me kicked me to the curb for a different girl, and my mom and older sister aren't getting along too well since my sister pretty much moved in with her boyfriend that we're not too fond of. -.-  
> On the bright side, my favorite customer came into the restaurant last night. He stuck around while we cleaned up and told us stories of his world travels and all the countries he's lived in. Then he entertained us by singing opera songs, something he's amazing at. So thank you, Chuck, for making me feel better. :)

"Tony, I want you to make me a promise." Mike said, sounding exhausted. I wiped my eyes and looked over. Marcus had just left after beating Mike and having his way with me. Mike was still refusing to have sex with me even though I kept telling him it was okay. I was giving Mike consent, but he still wouldn't do it. I guess he sees through my act. He knows it's not true consent. I just don't want to watch him be beaten anymore. His right eye was already swollen shut and his face was bloody and swollen. I hate to think what he looks like under his clothes from all of the kicks and punches he had received over the last week.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"If I can get that door open, I want you to run." I shook my head no.

"I'm not leaving you!" I exclaimed, shocked that he would even suggest it.

"Tony, I'm chained to a fucking metal bar, there's no way I can get loose. You're tied with ropes, I can untie you and you can get out. You could get help and come back for me. If I figure out how to open that door, I want you to run." A new wave of tears hit me and I shook my head desperately.

"I-I can't! I can't leave you, he'll kill you!" I pointed out. Mike stayed quiet for a while.

"If only one of us is going to make it out of here, I want it to be you." I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. "Tony, this is my fault. If I had just listened to you, we wouldn't be here. It's my fault so you deserve to be the one who gets out of here."

"I'm not leaving you! This wasn't your fault, Mike. We both deserve to get out of here." I told him, hoping he would believe it. He grunted as he hoisted himself up off of the floor. He walked -well, limped- over to the bed and sat on the edge. He had dried and fresh blood on his face and shirt.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, reaching down to gently push the hair out of my face. My lip was busted, my throat hurt from being forced to give Marcus a blow job, and my lower body was aching.

"Same as always," I told him. "C-Can you untie me?" I asked, jiggling my wrists a bit. My arms were sore from being tightly tied above my head for so long. I had finally got Mike to agree to always tie me back up when Marcus got home. It meant less pain for us both. Mike reached up and carefully undid the ropes that were cutting into my wrists.

"Better?" He asked, I only nodded my head. I moved to get under the cover on the bed. Marcus had taken my clothes so I was forced to lay naked on the bed. I still felt self-conscious around Mike even though he's already seen my body. I was happy he kept his eyes on my face though. Unless I was hurt, then he would tend to the wound the best he could, but he didn't touch me in more intimate areas. There wasn't really much he could do though. Just like there's nothing much I can do for him. Mike had already checked the bathroom and there was nothing useful to us.

"W-Will you lay with me?" He nodded his head and climbed on to the bed beside me. Marcus allowed Mike to wander around the room, with the chain on his ankle of course. Unless he's hurting me. Then he handcuffs Mike to the bar, leaving him completely helpless.

I hesitated for a moment, debating cuddling Mike. I felt sick just thinking about it, my stomach churning and my heart speeding up. I hadn't really let Mike touch me much since we got here. I loved the comfort he gave me, but I didn't want to be touched. I finally moved a little closer to him, testing to see if he would get mad. What if he thinks I'm gross? What if he yells at me for touching him? I wouldn't blame him after everything he's seen Marcus do to me, everything I've done to Marcus...

It took a few minutes, but I was finally laying up against Mike. I was thankful that he just laid on top of the cover instead of getting under them with me. My heart sped up more when Mike moved a little. I was expecting him to get up and shove me away, tell me not to touch him. But instead, he awkwardly moved his arm, offering for me to get closer to him. I moved the rest of the way over so I could lay my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back.

"You don't have to be afraid of me, Tony. I'm not going to hurt you." Mike told me.

"D-Do you think he would let us go if you... you know?" I asked quietly.

"Tony, I'm not going to do it. I don't want to hurt you and you'll hate me afterwards." He said, sounding tired.

"No, I won't. I won't hate you," I tried to assure him.

"Maybe not, but you'll be afraid of me. He's not going to let me make it feel good for you. It's going to hurt. You'll be afraid of me because I hurt you." He explained, he looked like he had already hurt me based on his guilty expression. "Besides, I doubt he would let us go just because I fucked you... Sorry, I shouldn't have put it that way."

"I want to go home. I miss my parents and Jaime. I can't do this to them again. They barely made it through the first time." I said, my voice cracking. Mike held me a bit tighter.

"I know, I promise you'll see them again soon." I pulled back a bit to look up at him. He looked so calm, but I could see the tears in his eyes. "Vic used to struggle with self harm and drugs. He quit after I came home because I asked him to. I wanted him to recover with me. You know, that way we could help each other recover. I'm terrified that he'll go back to how he was. What if he...." Mike stopped himself from saying anything more. I knew what he was afraid of though. What if Vic kills himself.

"Vic loves you, he's not going to leave you." I tried to comfort him.

"If he thinks I'm dead, he's not going to stick around long. God, it'll kill my parents if they think they lost both of their kids." I reached up and wiped away the tears that slid down Mike's cheeks.

"I'm not leaving you here and don't argue with me on that. If you can't get out, then I don't want to get out either." It killed me a little to say those words. I really wanted to go home, but I wasn't going to just leave Mike here to die. He deserves to get out of here just as much as I do.

Everything fell silent. The house was just as deafeningly silent as I remember it. I looked up at Mike to see him staring at the ceiling, lost in deep thought. I snuggled back down into his side and closed my eyes.

\------------------------------

I woke up alone in the bed and I panicked for a moment until I heard Mike moving around in the small bathroom. I relaxed back into the bed and waited for him to come out. I heard the upstairs door open, causing my heart to speed up. Marcus moved around upstairs for a while. I laid there and listened to him move around until the basement door opened.

"I brought you guys food," Marcus said, holding a plate with four pieces of toast on it. "I see Mike untied you again." Marcus sneered. He set the plate down on the bed before taking the two plastic cups he had into the bathroom.

"Come on!" I heard Marcus yell, making me flinch. I glanced over to see him shoving Mike out of the bathroom. Marcus then came back in with the cups full of water. He handed two pieces of toast to me and the cup. We both ate quietly and quickly. I was hoping Marcus would leave after we were done. He sometimes did before.

After both of us finished our toast and water, Marcus walked towards me, making my heart stop. I didn't want to be hurt again. He grabbed my arms and tied them back up. This time he allowed me to have the longer ropes. He turned around to Mike who was sitting on the floor.

"Gonna do what I tell you?" Marcus asked him.

"I'm _not_ raping him." Mike said firmly. Marcus' expression turned cold.

"I hope you know you'll only get so many chances to do what I say." Marcus' tone was casual but cold.

"Then what? Are you going to kill me?" Mike asked, smirking at his uncle. I didn't get how he wasn't afraid of Marcus. The man terrifies me. In one quick motion, Marcus pulled his gun out and had it pressed to my forehead, making me let out a scream of fear.

"Only after you watch me blow his brains out." Marcus yelled, pressing the gun more firmly to my forehead. I kept my eyes squeezed shut as I cried.

"No! No, l-leave him alone." Mike begged, Marcus didn't say anything or move for the longest time. He finally removed the gun and I managed to let out the breath I had been holding in. "P-Please don't hurt him."

"Oh, I won't hurt him, unless you keep refusing." Marcus said before smirking and turning to leave. "And if you untie him again, he'll pay for it." Then he slammed the door shut and locked it. I looked over to try to change Mike's mind again, but he was staring at the door and seemed to be deep in thought. I knew arguing with him wasn't going to change anything. He's not going to do it.

"I'll figure out a way to get us out of here, Tony. I promise." I didn't say anything. That's one promise he can't keep. We're both going to die here. We just have to make peace with our fate.

\-------------------

Marcus stayed at the cabin the last two days. Mike was still fighting him, but I gave up. I just allowed Marcus to do whatever. It felt like it did the first time I was here. I'm nothing more than Marcus' toy. Mike really only spoke when Marcus was here. He had stopped coming over to the bed or checking on me after Marcus was done. It kind of hurt, but maybe it was for the best. If he detached himself from me, it would be easier for him to do what Marcus wants. Maybe then Mike could get out of here. If Marcus has something on Mike, he can blackmail him. If Mike tells on Marcus, Marcus could tell on Mike.

I looked over at Mike again, he was still sitting near the metal bar he was chained to, not looking over at me.

"M-Mike?" He still didn't look at me. "Can you untie me? My wrists hurt." I whimpered. Mike didn't even look over at me. That hurt more than I thought it would. Why was he ignoring me? Had I done something wrong? "M-Mike?" I asked again, still not getting a reply. I turned my head back to stare at the ceiling, fighting the tears. I want Mike to get out of here, -for his sake and Vic's- but at the same time I want him to stay and comfort me. I don't want to die alone, but I also don't want Mike to die with me.

I squeezed my eyes shut when I heard the upstairs door open. I was already in enough pain, I don't need more. Marcus came into the room and looked over at Mike before looking at me. I whimpered when he began taking his belt off. He walked towards me and I looked over at Mike for help. I know there's nothing he can do to help me. I was just so terrified. Marcus laid the belt on the bed and reached up to untie me before making me flip over. It clicked in my mind what was about to happen and I began sobbing.

Without a single word and ignoring my pleas for mercy, Marcus began beating me with the belt. I wasn't sure why this was happening. The first time I was here, Marcus only ever hurt me when I first got here as submission beatings and when I disobeyed him. What had I done wrong? I let out another shrill scream when the belt came down on my bare back again. I knew the skin on my back was splitting and I could feel blood dripping down my side.

I managed to move my head to look over at Mike who still wasn't looking at me. He looked angry. I wanted to call for him but the only thing that came out was another scream. Why wasn't Mike yelling at Marcus? I know it just makes Marcus mad, but I miss Mike trying to defend me. It made me feel like he really cared about me. Now that he was just sitting there, I felt abandoned and alone. Was Mike mad at me? Does he regret getting close to me?

After Marcus was done beating me, he removed the rest of his clothes and climbed on top of me. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to stay still. Marcus didn't like when I struggled. I was in too much pain to fight him right now anyway. I let out little cries of pain and occasional screams. Right now the only thing I want is for Marcus to end my life. I don't want to keep suffering. I want it to all be over. I just want to die. Why couldn't I had been one of the lucky ones whose captor killed them?

\-----------------

I sobbed with my face buried in the mattress. It had been a while since Marcus left and Mike hadn't moved from his spot on the floor. There's nothing he can do for the horrible pain I'm in, but I really want him to comfort me, to tell me that everything would be okay and we would get out of here. I don't believe those things, but I miss hearing them.

I laid there and sobbed for a long time before finally getting myself under control. I turned my head to look at Mike and found him laying on the floor with his back to me. Why was he ignoring me? Was he repulsed by me? By the fact that I don't fight Marcus like he thinks I should? Does he think I want Marcus to do these things to me? Or had he just given up? Did he finally realize we're fucked? That we're never getting out of here.

I turned to press my face back into the mattress, maybe I could suffocate myself. Then Marcus could let Mike go and we'd both be happy. Marcus has no use for Mike so he would have disposed of him by now if he were anyone else. But Mike's his nephew. Maybe Marcus does have a small part of a heart and can't bring himself to take his own nephew's life.

I wonder if Marcus would dump me somewhere that my family could find me? Or would they spend the rest of their lives wondering if I was dead or alive? Would they give up on me this time? What about Jaime? Was he happy I'm not around anymore to screw up his and Jessica's relationship? At least now they can spend more time together and be happy.

\-----------------

Marcus came back into the room the next day. My wounds had scabbed over but still hurt a lot. My whole body hurt. I didn't want him to use me again. Not this soon after what he did to me. My body couldn't take much more. Instead of coming towards me, Marcus turned to Mike.

"Get up," he ordered. Mike did as he was told. "You ready to use the little slut? Or do you want another beating?" Marcus asked. Mike looked over at me, his face vacant of any emotion. He turned back to Marcus.

"My only conditions are I get use a condom and lube." Mike said, making my eyes go wide. Mike was... agreeing? Marcus turned to smirk at me before nodding his head.

"I'll be right back," Marcus said before leaving the room. He locked the door and went upstairs.

"M-Mike?" Was the only word I managed to choke out through my sobs. He just stared at the door. I know I wanted Mike to do this to save himself, but now.... Why was he agreeing? He had ignored me for the last few days and now was agreeing to rape me? Did he really hate me? Had I done something wrong? Or was he just saving himself after realizing he was the only one with a chance of getting out of here?

Marcus came back with the items Mike had requested and I began sobbing harder. I felt like I was going to throw up.

"No, Mike! P-Please! Please, d-don't do th-this! Mike, p-please!" My begging did no good. Mike removed his shirt while Marcus leaned against the wall to watch. This can't be happening. Mike can't rape me. What happened to him not wanting to hurt me? What changed?

Mike finished removing his clothes before climbing on the bed. I moved my head to the side of the bed just in time to puke on the floor. There wasn't much in my stomach, so I mostly dry heaved. I heard Mike prepping himself and then felt fingers push into me. I continued sobbing, letting out a small scream as Mike stretched me. My body was too wrecked to take much more.

"Get on with it!" Marcus yelled, causing Mike to remove his fingers. I screamed as Mike began pushing into me.

Why couldn't Marcus had just killed me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY!!   
> Oh, and the only reason Tony knows how long they've been there is because Marcus tells them. I'm not really sure how to work that into the story, so I'm just letting you know. 
> 
> I started my first My Chemical Romance story! It's Frerard and it's titled Phantoms And Shadows, if you want to check it out. :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I re-wrote this several times and I'm still not 100% okay with how it turned out, but I don't know how to fix it. I feel like the suspense isn't done well enough. Also, this chapter has a few time jumps in it and I feel like it's really messy.

One week. Mike had been raping me for one week. After he was done, he would get praised by Marcus and then go back to the other side of the room. I had stopped begging him not to do it, I stopped talking all together. How could Mike just do that to me? I didn't realize how much worse it hurts when it's done by someone you care about.

I kept my face turned toward the wall, trying my hardest not to look at Mike. We hadn't spoken a single word to each other all week. I was too shocked to speak to him and he obviously hated me too much to speak to me. I was sobbing so hard I gagged a few times. Marcus made me clean up my vomit after Mike raped me the first time. I didn't realize how humiliated that could make you feel.

I didn't react when I heard the upstairs door open or when Marcus came into the room. I knew what was coming next and I didn't want it to happen.

"Okay, Mike, you've been good for me lately. If you do what I ask next, you can come with me." Marcus said, causing my crying to become harder.

"What do I have to do?" Mike asked. Was his voice... shaking? No, he doesn't care what happens to me anymore. I heard one of them taking their belt off. Neither one said anything, but one of them walked towards me. The cover over my back was pulled down to my waist, but no pain came after. "I'm not sure I can do this," Mike quietly said, sounding hurt.

"Just one hit, that's all I'm asking for." Marcus told him. I braced myself, knowing Mike would do it. It seemed like forever before I heard a heavy sigh.

"I can't do it," Mike whispered.

"What the hell do you mean you can't do it?" Marcus asked, suddenly furious. I heard heavy footsteps approaching the bed. I glanced over just in time to see Marcus yank the belt out of Mike's hands. I squeezed my eyes shut again, burying my face in the mattress. I let out a small scream when the sound of the belt hitting skin sounded through the room. But there wasn't pain. I wasn't the one struck. I looked over to see Marcus shove Mike to the floor and begin mercilessly beating him. I began sobbing harder and turned away again.

I expected to be hurt when Marcus was done with Mike, but instead the man left, slamming the door behind him and locking it. I waited a few moments before turning to look at Mike. He was still on the floor and breathing heavy. From the sounds, I knew he had been hit extremely hard.

"M-Mike?" I called out, hiccuping a little. He mumbled something I didn't catch. "What?"

"I tried... I'm so sorry, Tony. I tried," He sobbed brokenly. We both laid there crying for a long time before Mike calmed himself down a little. "I'm so sorry, Tony. Everything I did to you.... I was trying to get out of here. To get you help. I'm so sorry." He broke down again, crying loudly.

"Y-You did it to help me?" I questioned.

"I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry!" He practically screamed the last part before breaking down in sobs again, his back still to me. "I th-thought if I c-could g-get on his g-good side, h-he would l-let me go-o." I could barely understand him through his crying, but I finally figured out what he said. I wasn't sure what to say. I wanted to tell him it was okay, but it wasn't. Whenever I look at him, I think of what he did this past week. That may never go away. He raped me more than once. That's not something I can just get over just because it was his plan to save me.

Neither one of us said anything else the rest of the night. Marcus was upstairs and didn't seem to have plans of leaving anytime soon. Mike had curled up on the floor and finally cried himself to sleep. I really wanted to ask him to get on the bed with me, but I was too shocked to speak. But now, seeing him laying there and knowing he's hurt, made me wish I had offered him half of the bed.

I kept trying to wrap my head around everything. Mike didn't actually hate me. He was trying to save me and, as twisted as it is, the only way to do that was to hurt me. That doesn't make it okay, though. Am I supposed to just forget it happened? Thank him for what he did because he did for me? How was I supposed to forgive him? I had the right to be upset over it, right? But he really was trying to help and he was so broken after it failed.

\------------------------------

I heard Marcus leave, but I figured he would be back soon. Mike was awake, but on the other side of the room looking completely broken. I wanted to offer him some sort of comfort but couldn't decide what to say. I didn't want to tell him what he did was okay because it wasn't. But maybe I'm treating him unfair since he really was trying to save me. And he obviously regrets what he did, but that doesn't make it better. It still hurts to know that he did it.

"M-Mike?" It came out as more of a whisper in the too quietly room. Mike turned his head to look at me. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked horrible. "C-Can you untie me?" I jiggled my wrists a little. I half expected Mike to turn away from me again, but he didn't. He stood up and came over to the bed. He untied me and then went back and sat against the wall again. I sat on the edge of the bed, covering myself with the cover and stared at him while he stared at the door.

I tried to decide if I was mad or just hurt. I guess I can't be too mad at him. We're in a horrible situation where there aren't too many options to get free. Mike just tried one of the few options we had. It almost worked, too. Had he struck me with the belt, he would be upstairs right now figuring out how to get us out of here.

"I-I'm not mad," I said quietly. At first I thought maybe he hadn't heard me since he didn't move or even blink, but he finally looked over at me.

"How?" He asked, sounding extremely tired.

"Because you were desperate. I'm desperate, too. I want to get out of here just as much as you do. So I'm not mad that you tried."

"I _raped_ you, Tony. More than once. You should _hate_ me right now." He pointed out, turning his attention back to the door.

"But I don't," I replied. I know I should hate him, but I can't. I can't hate him for being desperate. Neither one of us said anything else. Mike's eyes never left the door. I really wish I knew what he was thinking. Does he already have another plan?

We sat there for who knows how long before Mike suddenly broke down crying again. There wasn't much I could do to make him feel better, so I let him cry to get it out. My heart broke for him because he was so torn up over what he had done. It made me feel slightly better, as bad as that is to say, because at least I know he genuinely didn't want to hurt me.

"What would my family say?" He finally said. He let his head fall back so he was staring at the ceiling.

"I-I think they would understand you were desperate to find a way out... I'm not going to tell anyone," I said the last part slowly. If we get out of here, I don't want to be the reason he ends up in prison or something. He doesn't deserve that. Mike never replied. He continued to cry, though. I stayed quiet, too. There's nothing I can say or do to make this better.

\-----------------------

When Marcus returned, he wasted no time in coming down the stairs. He paid no attention to me, not even to comment on the fact I was untied. He marched straight to Mike who looked scared.

"Think you can fucking play me? Think again," Marcus smacked Mike across the face. It was nothing compared to what he endured last time. Marcus undid Mike's ankle before yanking him to his feet. My heart was pounding. Marcus suddenly slammed Mike into the wall. He grabbed his hands and handcuffed them behind his back. He then began dragging Mike towards the door. Mike was fighting him. He looked terrified. I'm sure the same thing was running through his mind as mine. This was the last time we would ever see each other. He turned and we met eyes. He was silently begging me to help him but I was frozen. There was absolutely nothing I could do. Marcus was bigger and stronger than me. I would never be able to help Mike.

"I'm sorry," Mike said, looking directly into my eyes.

"Shut up!" Marcus yelled, yanking him again. Mike still fought, trying his hardest to get away from Marcus. I wanted to say something, anything, but couldn't. Marcus finally managed to shove Mike out the door, causing him to fall to the floor. The last I saw was Mike looking back me with tears in his eyes before the door slammed shut and locked. I could hear Mike struggling against Marcus outside. "Stop!" Marcus demanded before there was a loud sound like something hitting the stairs followed by a few moments of silence. I broke down sobbing as I heard what sounded like something being dragged up the stairs.

No, no, no! He can't kill Mike! This can't be happening! What if Mike was already dead? I strained to hear what was happening upstairs, but there was nothing. I heard Marcus walking around and more dragging, but that was it. Mike still hadn't come to. What if he doesn't? What if whatever Marcus just did to him killed him?

I sat there sobbing until I gagged. Why didn't I say anything? The last thing he should have heard should have been something nice, not Marcus' harsh voice. I should have said something. What if he thought I was mad and that's why I didn't say anything? He died feeling horrible for what he had done.

After what felt like ever, the upstairs door opened again. My heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to throw up. Had there been anything in my stomach, I probably would have. Was he going to kill me next? Was this how we were both going to die? Would he at least dump our bodies somewhere that someone would find them? I don't want my family to spend the rest of their lives wondering what happened to me. I don't want Mike's family to do that either. They deserve to at least be able to bury us properly to have closure.

Marcus looked furious when he came into the room. He stormed over to me and shoved me on my back. He wasted no time in taking his pants off and pushing into me. He was extremely rough, making me scream and cry the entire time. In all honestly, death didn't sound that bad right now. At least this would all be over. At least Mike isn't suffering anymore.

Marcus didn't last long, so the attack was over quickly. I laid on my back crying while Marcus pulled his pants back up. I looked up at him and tried to force myself to talk.

"M-Mike?" Was the only thing I managed to get out. He smirked at me while doing his belt back.

"It's a shame. He was my favorite, to be honest." I broke down sobbing. That confirmed my fears. Mike's dead.

\----------------------------

The next couple of days were spent crying. I wanted to beg Marcus to kill me, to just get it over with, but knew that would just cause him to drag it out longer. I'll just have to be patient. I had given up complete control to him. I didn't even flinch when he touched me anymore. It hurt to know that I made peace with my death sentence. I don't want to be returned to the real world because everything that happened here this time can't be overcome.

If I went home, my family would have to start over and it probably would be worse. And was I just supposed to pretend I never knew Mike? What about his family? What about my family? Would they be able to handle it if I came back again? We would be in constant fear that I would be taken again. But what happens if I don't return? My parents thought they had gotten me back just for me to be taken again. It wasn't fair to them.

I closed my eyes when the door upstairs opened. Marcus had been around the last couple of days. He came into the room with toast and a plastic cup. He set the toast down and went to fill the cup with water from the bathroom. He came back and undid my hands, allowing me to sit up to eat my toast. I stared down while I ate. I honestly didn't want to eat but if I don't, Marcus will be mad.

"Oh, come on, cheer up." Marcus said in mock kindness. I glanced up to see him give me a mischievous smile. "What if I got you a new little friend?" My eyes widened.

"Maybe someone you can _play_ with." The way he said 'play' implied something more than just companionship for me. He wanted someone to force into hurting me. He reached out to push my hair out of my face. "Maybe I'll bring you someone on my way from work tomorrow." Tears burned my eyes. I didn't want him to put someone else through this. Marcus stood up when I finished my toast and handed me the glass of water.

"Besides, I can't keep you forever. So it's good to have someone new around for later." He seemed to be thinking as he stared at me. "Maybe someone younger, you know so they last longer." I didn't bother stopping the tears that slid down my cheeks.

"I mean, that's what you do, right? Get a puppy to replace the old dog. So that when it's time to take the old one out and shoot it, you already have a new one." He smirked at me as I choked down the rest of my water. I knew he was going to kill me eventually, but hearing him talk about it still scared me. And now he's going to go get someone younger and force them to endure this torture. Marcus chuckled before grabbing my dishes.

"Since you've been so good lately, I'll let you stay loose for a while. But remember, if you try anything and you'll regret it." He then turned and left the room, locking me back in. I laid on the bed and allowed myself to cry. As selfish as it was, I hope he kills me soon after getting a replacement. I don't want some kid to have to go through this, but I don't want to go through it any longer either.


	17. Chapter 17

I wasn't sure how long it had been since Marcus took Mike away. I constantly listened, hoping to hear anything that proved Mike wasn't really gone. I was hoping this was just some sick joke, a way for Marcus to torture me. But there wasn't any other noise besides Marcus moving around. I don't want to accept that Mike is gone. There's no way Marcus actually killed his nephew. Who would be that heartless?

I was surprised Marcus hadn't been around the last couple of days. I had spent the entire time tied to the bed. I had a breakdown before Marcus left which made him angry. He tied my hands tight enough to make them feel numb. My whole body ached but there was nothing I could do about it. I squirmed around on the bed a bit, trying my hardest to get comfortable. I wanted these stupid ropes off of me, even if that meant dealing with Marcus.

I started to wonder if Marcus was nice enough to give the Fuentes family closure? Did he let the police discover Mike's body? Was that why he hadn't been around the last couple of days? Maybe he was attending Mike's funeral.

My heart began pounding when there was a loud crash from upstairs. Marcus was gone and as far as I know doesn't have pets. I felt like crying when the noises kept coming. It sounded like someone was wrecking the upstairs. Did someone break in? Maybe they won't come in the basement. There's never anything worth stealing in a basement, right? Just as quickly as the noises started, they stopped with a loud cry of anguish.

I laid completely still, not that I could really move anyway. I stared at the door, expecting it to be thrown open any second. It never was though. Everything in the house was quiet again.

\--------------------------------

I kept hearing noises upstairs. Some times it was loud crashes and bangs like they were tearing up the house, some times it was footsteps and a weird dragging sound, and other times it was a thumping sound. It terrified me because I couldn't tell what any of it was. It all seemed to come from the same area of the house.

Marcus still hadn't returned to the cabin and I was starting to get worried. Was he just going to leave me here to die? Then again, that isn't such a bad thing. I just hope it happens fast then this can all be over.

I laid still to listen when the dragging sound and footsteps began upstairs again. I tried my hardest to figure out what or who it was. It sounded like it was above the small bathroom. I wish it were closer so I could hear it better. The sounds stopped but were quickly replaced with that thumping sound.

I tried to distract myself from the unknown noises by thinking of other things. There wasn't much I hadn't already thought about. Being alone in the quiet with nothing to do leaves you with a lot of time to think. The main thing has been my family. I keep wondering what they're doing, if there are any leads in our disappearance, if Jaime is okay. I also had been thinking about the Fuentes family a lot. If Marcus was kind enough to let them find Mike's body, how was Vic handling it? Was Vic even still alive? That was the thought that hurt the most. What if the Fuentes parents have already lost both of their kids all because of Marcus? It would kill them.

I tried to distract myself with happier thoughts and memories, but those only made me sad. I won't be able to see my family again and make any more nice memories. I really hope my family and Jaime will be able to move on. I hope they don't hurt themselves because of me.

Then Mike's words were in my head telling me not to just lay there. If Marcus wasn't coming back, maybe I could get out of here. I know it's a long shot. Even if by some miracle I get these ropes off, I'll never be able to get that door open. I wiggled around a bit, whimpering in pain when the ropes rubbed my already raw wrists. That was a bad idea, a horrible idea. My wrists were burning now, making me want to cry. I shouldn't have moved.

 _Pathetic._ The word kept replaying over in my head. I wasn't strong like Mike. At least he did everything possible to try to get out of here. All I've done is lay here and accept my death. I really am pathetic.

\--------------------------

I felt like crying in frustration as the noises upstairs grew more common. What the hell is that? The front door never opened so it can't be Marcus. Besides, he wouldn't go this long without coming downstairs. I just wish I knew what was upstairs. Whatever or whoever it is was walking back and forth, that dragging sound going with it. Then I got an idea. It might not be a smart idea, but maybe it is.

"H-Hello?" I called, my voice cracking and coming out small. I coughed before trying again. "Hello?" I called a little louder. The footsteps continued. I have to be louder if they're ever going to hear me.

"Hello?" I yelled the loudest I could which wasn't very loud. It was loud enough to work though. The footsteps stopped the second the word was out. The house was completely quiet again. "Hello?" I called again, hoping to get some kind of a response. It was just quiet after that. No footsteps, no dragging, no thumping, nothing. Just silence.

I squeezed my eyes shut as tears burned my eyes. If it was a person they obviously didn't want to know there was someone else in the cabin. Now I was going to lose the only companion I had. Even if it was just mysterious noises, it was better than deafening silence. Then I heard the door upstairs open. Marcus must be back. He moved around upstairs for a while, not at all fazed by whatever else was up there. Then a horrible thought came to mind. What if Marcus kept his word? What if he went out and got someone else? Was that who was upstairs? Is that why my voice seemed to startle them?

After a while, Marcus finally came downstairs, something I wasn't looking forward to. The door opened and he smiled when he walked in. I hate his smile. It never comes across as kind instead it's malicious.

"Here, I brought you something," Marcus said, sitting the bowl of cereal and cup down before coming over to untie me. It felt nice to finally be untied. I rubbed at my raw wrists. It's just going to hurt more when he ties me back up. He handed me the bowl of cereal before going to the bathroom to fill up the cup. I normally eat slow but right now I was starving and before I knew it, the food was gone. Marcus handed me the cup of water which I basically chugged. I kept my head down, knowing what comes next.

"I'll be back down in a little while." Marcus then gathered the dishes and left, leaving me confused. I was untied at least. I sat and listened to Marcus move around upstairs before there was a loud clattering sound like something was thrown.

"You fucking bitch!" Marcus yelled, making me jump. Then it sounded like someone getting attacked and soon there was someone crying out in pain. Tears fell down my cheeks. If Marcus has someone new, how long does that give me? Probably not long. The basement door was opened before Marcus yelled down at me. "Get ready, you fucking slut!" My crying got harder as the door was slammed. I wasn't sure what Marcus was about to do, but it can't be good.

I then did something I haven't done since I was a little kid. I stood up on shaky legs, wrapped the thin cover around my body, and got down on my knees. I began to whisper a desperate prayer. I hadn't really given much thought to a higher power. I still wasn't sure if there was anyone out there listening. After everything I've been through, I didn't think it was possible for God to be real. He's supposed to be full of love, right? Then why does he allow this type of stuff to happen? I still said a prayer though. He protects those that call to him, right? So maybe this would be good enough to earn his protection.

I quickly got back on the bed when the door upstairs opened again.

 _Please protect me._ I begged over and over in my head. Right now I'm really hoping God exists. I need all the help I can get. The door opened and Marcus stormed in. He wasted no time in grabbing me and yanking me off of the bed. He threw me on to the floor and began kicking me as hard as he could. He then climbed on top of me and began punching me. I screamed and cried the entire time but it did no good. Was this how I was going to die? Was he going to beat me to death?

I could feel my vision getting blurry and my eyes desperately wanted to close. I couldn't give up though. I can't let this be the way he kills me. With one powerful punch to my face, I blacked out.

\------------------------

My vision was blurry as I tried to open my eyes. I couldn't open my left eye which didn't help. I reached up to touch my eye, wincing in pain. Most of my face was swollen and I felt scabs over several parts. I continued to try to get my vision to clear up. When it finally did, I glanced around the room I was in. It wasn't the basement bedroom. It looked like.... a hospital room? No, there's no way. How would anyone had even found me?

I glanced around again, my brain finally processing everything. There was a lot of hospital equipment in the room and it was well light, but it definitely wasn't a hospital room. It was another room in Marcus' basement. The same one he brought me to after I tried to kill myself the first time I was here. I broke down crying, the small bit of hope that I was safe was killed.

Then Marcus was leaning over me. He moved my head around a bit, inspecting the wounds on my face.

"Can you hear me?" It still sounded like I was hearing him through water. I nodded my head a little. He smirked at me before letting go of my head. "I did a real number on ya, huh?" He said smugly. I closed my eyes -well, eye- and listened to him move around.

"I had to give you a few stitches." Marcus told me. I reached my hand up again, feeling around my face, keeping my eyes closed. I finally felt the bandage across my forehead. I was in so much pain. It was pretty obvious he hadn't given me anything for pain which I guess shouldn't be surprising. "You'll be in pain for a while, but you'll heal." Marcus then grabbed my arm and began pulling me up. He pulled me off of the table thing I was on and began guiding me out of the room. It was hard to see since my eye was swollen shut. He kept a tight, painful grip on my arm as he led me back to the room I was kept in. He laid me down on the bed and covered me up again before leaving. I closed my eyes and tried to fight back the tears.

I faintly heard the upstairs door shut, telling me that Marcus had left. The house was quiet after that, making me wonder what the new person was doing. Most likely they were tied up. I wonder if they're enduring the same hell as me? Or maybe Marcus was going to get rid of me before he moved on to his new victim.

I reached up and touched all the places on my face that hurt the most. My entire body was aching. I sighed and put my hand back down. The only thing I want right now is my mom. I want her to brush my hair out of my face and tell me it'll be okay. I want her to tend to the wounds, kiss my head, and tell me to get some rest. I want my dad to check on me several times after he gets home from work to make sure I'm okay. I want my parents to tell me they love me. I just want to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't that long and I hope it wasn't horrible. I wanted to end it there though because what happens next I want in a separate chapter.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day? I'm on a roll!

I wasn't sure how long it had been since Marcus beat me up. He hadn't returned to the house and whoever was upstairs hadn't been active. Marcus never tied me back up which I was happy about. He had been gone long enough for my eye to heal enough so I could open it. My body still hurt but there was nothing I could about it. My mind kept telling me that something wasn't right. It couldn't be work keeping Marcus away from the cabin because he always found the time to come here. So what was it?

I got up, wrapped the cover around my body and went to the door. I had already tried opening it several times. There was no way out of this room. I wonder if the person upstairs is okay? Did Marcus hurt them? I hadn't heard anything from upstairs. Maybe they're tied up and can't move around like before. I didn't even bother trying to open the door again. There's no use. I stood there and stared at the door, wishing it would just open and I could get out of here. I wish Mike would come through the door or even this new person Marcus had.

I sighed heavily and went back to the bed, feeling a bit dizzy. I haven't eaten since Marcus was last here and the only way I get water is to cup my hands under the faucet in the bathroom. I laid on the bed and curled up, pulling the cover tightly around me. The silence of the house reminded me how alone I really am. There's nothing, no little sounds to keep me company. Just silence.

I wish Marcus would just kill me and get it over with. I'm sure the torture is a part of his sick game. He wants me to suffer. He wants my death to be painful. He was definitely getting his way. My slow death is extremely painful.

\----------------------

I laid in the bed so long that my muscles were aching. I couldn't bring myself to move though. What's the point? There's no comfort no matter how I lay. My hips were hurting a lot so I finally shifted to lay on my back. It wasn't comfortable but at least my hips could stretch and stop aching. I reached up to feel the bandage on my forehead. I wonder how much it'll hurt when he takes the stitches out? There's not much chance of him numbing me or anything before removing them. It'll probably be extremely painful.

I stared at the ceiling, wishing to hear any noise. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing and it was starting to drive me crazy. I needed something to distract me from what's going to happen. I don't want to lay here and think through all the ways Marcus could kill me. I know it's going to happen, but that doesn't mean I want to lay and come up with ways he'll do it. I squeezed my eyes shut as tears burned them.

Why did this have to happen to me? What was so appealing about me? I'm disgusting, worthless, and ugly. Why would anyone want me this badly? Maybe this is my punishment? Maybe I did something bad enough to deserve this. I couldn't think of anything I had done to deserve this though. I honestly wouldn't even wish this type of treatment on my worst enemy. It's horrible and painful.

Just as my eyes were about to slip closed, I heard the door upstairs open. I groaned a little. I don't want to deal with Marcus. I'm still in too much pain. I heard him walk around upstairs for a while, then another door opened, then loud footsteps like someone rushing into a room. That was weird.

"Oh my god!" I heard some yell. I know that voice. I heard some muffled talking and then more running, this time out of the cabin.

"No! Help!" I yelled, hoping the person would hear. That wasn't Marcus. Maybe I could be saved. I continued to yell and soon enough, a second voice joined me in yelling for the other person. I couldn't hear what they were yelling over my own voice. The person didn't come back though. The person upstairs stopped yelling. I gave up too, breaking down into sobs. What the hell is going on upstairs? I got out of the bed and went to the door. I began beating on it. If there was even the slightest chance of me getting out of here I had to take it. Even if this person wasn't going to help, maybe they would end it for me. That would be a slap in Marcus' face. To come home to find his "toy" murdered by someone else. That would be a satisfying way to die, knowing I ruined his fun.

"Please!" I yelled, beating on the door more. I finally gave up, sliding down the door and pulling the cover tighter around me. Maybe they saw the person upstairs and got scared. Whatever the reason, they're not coming back. We're out of luck. Our one chance at getting out of here just ran out the fucking door. I sat there sobbing so hard I couldn't breathe. I just want this fucking nightmare to be over. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I can't do it anymore.

The last bit of hope I had left was reignited when someone ran back into the house. I waited to see if it was the mystery person returning or Marcus pissed off. I heard muffled talking. It was the other person. I turned and began beating on the door again. I tried to yell but my sobbing was making it impossible to be loud enough.

"Please, help!" I tried to yell, it wasn't loud enough though. I broke down sobbing again, leaning my forehead against the door. They can't hear me. I'm never getting out of here. Would the person upstairs tell them that someone else was trapped here? Or would they just take the opportunity to save their own life? For all we know, Marcus could be on his way here right now. Of course the person upstairs is going to get out given the chance. Even if it means leaving me here. I can't say I wouldn't do the same, as horrible as that sounds.

They weren't going to save me. If they were, someone would have come down here by now. They would have at least come to see if I was really here, right? They weren't going to help me. They were going to leave me for Marcus to finish off. He'll definitely kill me when he comes home to find his newest "toy" gone. He'll take it out on me and it's going to be a painful death.

I gave up hope and pulled myself back to my feet. I went back to the bed and laid down. I sobbed until I passed out.

\-------------------------

I woke up to a loud noise upstairs. People were shouting and there were footsteps all over the place. More people? I was just about to start yelling again, hoping that someone would finally hear me when the basement door opened. Several sets of footsteps came rushing down the stairs. The door was suddenly kicked in with a loud bang. I cowered into the corner of the bed.

"We got another one!" The man yelled over his shoulder before putting his gun in its holster. "It's okay, my name is Jason Monzales, I'm with the FBI. You're safe now." He assured me, walking towards me carefully. He reached out to help me off of the bed. I was too shocked to fight the grip he had on my arm. Was I seriously being save? Or was this some sort of realistic dream?

The man kept one arm around me and the other was holding my arm as he guided me up the stairs. It took a lot to climb the stairs and it was a slow process but the man was patient with my stumbling. When we got to the top, he guided me towards the door. I glanced over to see some people in the bathroom. I wonder if that's where the mystery person was being kept. I tried to catch a glimpse of them, but couldn't through all of the people.

"I need a paramedic!" The man shouted, causing me to grimace since he was so close to me. A woman ran over to us and began talking to me, but I couldn't keep up with what she was asking. My eyes darted everywhere, trying to watch what was happening around me.

"Name?" I repeated, hoping I understood her.

"Yes, do you know your name?" She asked, motioning behind her.

"Tony," I told her, looking back at the bathroom. A man came up in front of me, startling me a bit.

"Okay, Tony, this is Simon, he's going to carry you to the ambulance, okay?" I only nodded, not fighting when the man put an arm behind my legs and one behind my back. He lifted me up and carried me to the ambulance. I was kind of thankful to be carried since there were rocks, sticks, and pine needles littering the yard. I was sat down inside the truck before the man and woman were all over me. The woman carefully peeled the bandage from my head to reveal my stitches. I panicked a little when the man tried to pull the cover down.

"No! Don't!" I yelled, holding the cover tighter. "Please!" I begged, trying to move away from them.

"It's okay, I'm sorry. I just want to check if you have any other injuries." The man explained. I shook my head no, keeping my eyes on the ground. The woman began whispering something to the man who only nodded his head before leaving the truck. She pulled the doors shut.

"Can you show me your stomach? You can keep the cover over your lap." She said sweetly. I hesitated before lowering the cover. It was freezing out and it wasn't much better in here. She began inspecting the wounds on my torso and feeling my ribs. I winced a little when she pressed against a certain area on my ribs.

After a long time of her looking me over, she told me I could lay down. She opened the doors again, a rush of cold air making it's way in. I watched her leave, shutting the door behind her. I laid there and stared up. Was I seriously safe? Was this sick game finally over?

The door opened again and the woman came back, shutting it behind her. Someone got in the front of the ambulance and before long we were moving.

"We're taking you to the hospital, okay?" I only nodded, my eyes feeling heavy but I was too awake to fall asleep again. She told me all the things she was hooking me up to but I didn't pay much attention. I heard beeping and felt a prick in my arm as she hooked me up to an IV of something.

"Wh-What about the other person? There was someone else in the house." I felt compelled to tell her about the mystery person. Though I'm sure that's why they were all in the bathroom.

"They're taking him in a different ambulance." She told me softly. "He's gonna make it," she added. I only nodded, letting my eyes close. I wouldn't be able to sleep, but I was so tired.

\-----------------------------

I opened my eyes to bright lights. I blinked several times to try to adjust my eyes to the light.

"He's waking up," I heard a voice say. Once my eye sight was clear, I looked to the side to see Jaime leaning close to me, a bright smile on his face. "Hey, how're you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a bus." I mumbled, making him chuckle.

"You look like it, too," he commented, causing me to smile. I looked over and saw my mom sitting on the edge of the bed, her hand gently rubbing my leg. My dad was standing next to her. They both looked like they had been crying. I closed my sore eyes again.

"It's too bright," I said quietly. I heard Jaime get up before the light shining on my eyelids disappeared. I opened them again to a mostly dark room. The light leaking in from behind the blinds was the only light. "What happened?" I asked, looking between the three of them.

"You don't remember?" Mom asked worriedly.

"I know what happened to me, but how did I get here? Who found me?" I asked, looking over at the machines I was hooked to.

"An officer found you. Vic Fuentes went to the cabin looking for his uncle and he wasn't there, so he went in to use the restroom. He found Mike in the b-" I cut mom off.

"He found Mike? Mike is alive?" I asked and she nodded her head.

"Yes, he is, he was chained up in the bathroom. They said he'll be okay." She explained, I felt my body relax slightly. Mike's alive. Marcus didn't kill him. Wait, Marcus.

"A-And Marcus?" I asked and my parents shared a sad look.

"They're looking for him." That was enough to make me start crying. He got away. He's going to get away with what he did to us. He's still out there and he can come after me again. I don't want to live in constant fear of him. I can't live my life that way.

"Hey, it's okay," Dad said, reaching down to take my hand. "They already have a lead. Someone saw him leaving town and they're after him." That didn't make me feel better. He could easily slip away from them. I shook my head.

"He'll g-get away! Y-You don't know h-him!" I sobbed, pulling my hand away from my dad. My parents were trying to calm me down when a nurse came in and tried to help calm me down. I heard the nurse say something about giving me something and I shook my head no. I began taking deep breathes, trying to calm myself down. They waited to see if I really was calm now. When I proved that I was okay, the nurse began checking everything.

"C-Can I see Mike?" I asked once the nurse was gone.

"Not right now, baby," Mom said, reaching up to brush the hair out of my face. What if Mike tells them what happened? What if he blames himself? Would he get in trouble? I can't have him get arrested for trying to help me.

"I-I need to talk to a police officer. M-Mike didn't do anything wrong." I said, causing my parents to glance at each other. Had Mike already confessed? Oh god, what if they arrested him? "Please?" I asked, looking between the three of them.

"I'll go get someone," Jaime said. My parents nodded and Jaime got up to leave.

"What do you mean Mike didn't do anything?" Dad asked.

"H-He was just trying to save us." I whispered. "Please, you have to believe me." I begged.

"Okay, it's okay, we believe you." Mom said, running her fingers through my hair. Jaime returned a few moment later.

"They said they'll send someone to talk to you in a little while." I only nodded.

"What did they give me? I'm so tired," I said with a yawn.

"They gave you a sedative so you wouldn't freak out when they treated your wounds." Mom explained, I only nodded. It made sense, I know I would have freaked out with a bunch of strangers touching me. I reached up to touch my forehead, wincing when I did.

"They had to re-stitch it. It was infected and poorly done." Dad explained. The door opened and an Asian man with bleach blonde hair and his ears pierced walked in.

"It's good to see you awake. I'm Dr. Denety," the man smiled. "How are you feeling?" He walked over to check the same things the nurse already did.

"I'm in pain," I said.

"And where does it hurt?"

"My stomach area," I motioned towards my stomach.

"You have two fractured ribs. On a scale of one to ten how would you rate your pain? Ten being the worst."

"A five or six, I guess," I said and he nodded.

"We have you on morphine to help with the pain. If your pain gets worse tell the nurses, okay?" I nodded. He went on to explain what treatments they had me on and what they'll be doing over the next few days. It was pretty much the same as last time.

"Can you tell me anything about Mike Fuentes?" I asked.

"I can't give out information on other patients. But I can let his family know you're awake and if they want to come see you they can tell you about him." I nodded again. He finished what he was doing before smiling at me.

"Alright, I'll be back to check on you later." Dr. Denety smiled at my parents and Jaime before leaving the room again.

"How long was I gone?"

"Six weeks, it's February," Dad told me. I nodded my head again. I didn't say anything else after that. I kept glancing around at everyone in the room. It still didn't feel real that I was safe. It happened so fast that I haven't really had time to process everything. There was a knock on the door and my mom telling them to come in.

"I'm Officer Palms and I would like to ask you some questions. If that's okay?" The man that came in said. He was tall, thin and pale. His black hair made his pale skin stand out more and his brown eyes were dark but kind.

"Sure," I said and he nodded his head once. Jaime stood up and offered his seat next to my bed to the officer. The man sat down and opened the notepad in his hands.

"Alright, I just want you to start from the beginning." I took a deep breath before glancing at my parents who each gave me a small nod. I looked back at the officer before I started telling him what happened. From the day I went with Mike to the cabin to waking up in the hospital. I tried to talk around what Mike did, maybe he hadn't told them.

"Mike Fuentes admitted to raping you, but you didn't mention that. Why is that?" My heart was racing.

"What?" My dad said, looking from the officer to me. "Tony, did he rape you?"

"H-He did it to save me. H-His uncle kept trying to force him to do it and he refused and his uncle would beat him. He really hurt Mike. Mike only did it to gain his uncle's trust. He was trying to help! Please, don't arrest him! H-He wasn't trying to hurt me." I explained quickly. I looked around at everyone in the room.

"Okay, thank you for your time." Officer Palms said.

"Wait, i-is Mike in trouble?" Officer Palms sighed and scratched his head.

"I can't say at this point."

"Please, you have to believe me. He was trying to save us. Please, don't blame him." I begged.

"Don't worry, Tony." The officer said. He then nodded his head towards my parents and left. I broke down crying the second the door shut. My parents and Jaime were at my side instantly. They can't take Mike away. He can't be blamed for trying to help. We're supposed to have a happy ending, right? We both have been through this twice now, don't we deserve a happy ending?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! They're free! Sorry if this kind of sucked.


	19. Chapter 19

"I am so done with hospitals," I whined, poking at the IV still in my arm. I've been here for three days and I'm already done with this place. "When can I leave?" I asked, the nurse checking on me chuckled.

"Sorry, sweetie, you'll be here for a few more days." The nurse I learned is named Sabrina told me. "How's your head?" I shrugged.

"Fucked up as always," she gave me a sympathetic smile.

"Does it still hurt?" I shook my head no.

"He's a little grumpy today, if you couldn't tell." Jaime chuckled. He was sitting with me while my parents went to get food for lunch.

"Must be something in the water, it seems all of my patients are grumpy today." Sabrina laughed. "Alright, I will be back to check on you later." She gave us another smile before leaving the room while Jaime fished his ringing phone out of his pocket.

"It's Jess, I'll be right back, okay?" I nodded my head. He answered and slipped out of the room. I grabbed the remote and flipped through the few channels I had. I finally settled on Loony Tunes. After about five minutes of staring at the TV there was a knock on the door. I figured it was either more nurses, the doctor, or another police officer. But when they didn't open the door right after knocking I called for them to come in. The door cracked open and Vic poked his head in. I smiled when I saw him.

"Hey," I greeted, turning the TV off.

"Hey," he said, coming in and closing the door quietly. He stood near the door, looking a bit nervous. "How are you doing?" He asked then seemed to scold himself for it.

"Better," was all I said. I honestly was feeling better now that my wounds were being treated, I was able to eat, and the pain medication helps a lot, too. "How are you?" He shrugged a little and crossed his arms.

"Better now that Mike's safe." I looked him up and down. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. He also couldn't stand still like he did before, he was constantly fidgeting around.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked and he nodded, not looking at me. He finally sighed heavily and walked over to sit in the chair next to me.

"No, I'm not," he admitted, running a hand through his hair. "Mike is a wreck and my parents don't know what to do. My uncle that I've looked up to since I was a kid is a fucking kidnapper and rapist. And I..." He trailed off, letting out another heavy sigh.

"You what?" I asked softly, wanting to offer him comfort. My mind was still on Mike. He's a wreck right now? I really want to see him, but everyone keeps telling me I can't or that it's not a good idea just yet.

"Did Mike ever tell you what I went through before?" I nodded my head. "Well, I-I relapsed the night he went missing. I'm getting clean again though, so don't worry. And... there's no need to tell Mike about it."

"I won't," I promised. He looked me over, making me feel a little self-conscious. "Can I ask about Mike?" I wasn't sure if he wanted to talk to me about him or not.

"Sure, what do you want to know?"

"Is he gonna get in trouble?" I asked quietly, keeping my gaze on my hands. He sighed again.

"No, they questioned you and him a lot and they've ruled it as self defense. They agreed that he did it out of desperation and was trying to get out of there." He explained, I felt myself relax a little.

"Good, I was worried they would arrest him."

"We all were," he told me. "Look, Mike wanted me to come talk to you. He's worried you hate him. Now before you say anything, he wants you to know that you have every right to hate him or even just be mad."

"I don't hate him and I'm not mad... I can't say I won't be afraid of him, but I understand why he did it." I explained slowly.

"He also wants to know if he, um, if he can come see you sometime?"

"Can he?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Yeah, he's only still here because he's malnourished. They said he might be released tomorrow which is why he wanted me to ask you. So are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I've been wanting to go see him, but nobody will let me. They keep saying I need to stay in bed and rest." I grumbled.

"They're right, you need it." He told me. The door opened and Jaime came back in, looking down at his phone.

"Ugh, that woman is driving me fu-" Jaime stopped talking when he noticed Vic. "Oh, sorry, I'll let you two talk." He turned to leave again, but I stopped him.

"It's okay, Hime." He glanced at Vic before nodding and walking over to sit on the edge of the bed. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I broke it.

"Can you tell me the full story? I've heard bits and pieces, but not the full story." I said, looking over at Vic. He took a deep breath before nodding.

"We hadn't seen or heard from Marcus for a while. I was worried about him, so I went to his apartment but he wasn't there. I tried calling him and it just went straight to voicemail. The only times he has his phone off or doesn't have service is at work and the cabin. I went to the hospital and they said he hadn't shown up for work that day or the day before. I was really worried after that, so I told my parents I was going up to the cabin to see if he was there." He shook his head, looking upset.

"He wasn't there, so I got his spare key and went inside to use the restroom. Then I opened the door to the worst sight ever, my little brother chained up in the bathroom." He stopped to take a deep breath. "I fell to the floor in front of him and he began rambling about everything and I couldn't understand him. I understood that you were in the house, too, but nothing else. I ran outside to try to get service on my phone and he started yelling for me. I tried to yell back that it would be okay, but I don't think he could understand me over his own yelling.

"I finally got service and called 911. I explained the situation and gave them the address. They wanted me to stay on the phone and I wasn't thinking and went back into the house where I lost service. I-I heard you beating on the door downstairs and yelling for help. I wanted to come down and tell you it would be okay, but-" I cut him off.

"It's okay, I understand," I said softly. He nodded his head.

"It took a long time for help to get there. And I told them you were downstairs so they sent their team downstairs to search in case there were more.... They had to cut the chains off of Mike. I stayed with him and it was the hardest thing ever. He kept holding on to me and he was crying. He kept apologizing for something but wouldn't say what. I'm sorry," Vic said, wiping at his cheeks.

"You don't have to continue, I kinda know what happened next." I explained and he nodded.

"One thing you don't know is that my parents are talking about institutionalizing Mike. When I said that he's a wreck, I meant it. He can't forgive himself for what he did to you. My parents are worried he'll hurt himself."

"D-Do you think he would?" I asked and Vic shrugged.

"I don't know, the mind is a scary thing and that gets worse when it's fucked up. He's not fighting my parents on the decision so I wonder if he wants them to do it." Vic sighed heavily, running a hand through his messy hair again. Then Jaime spoke up.

"Maybe it's for the best. I get that he was trying to save himself and Tony, but you have to be pretty fucked up in the head to rape someone else. He could have at least told Tony his plan." The anger in Jaime's voice was unusual. It takes a lot to make him mad.

"Jaime," I scolded. I couldn't believe he just said that to Vic. "I wouldn't have been able to go along with the plan. Marcus would have seen right through us and killed Mike. He didn't tell me because he wanted it to be as real as possible."

"Well, he couldn't have made it any more fucking real, could he?" Jaime then stood up and stormed out of the room. I stared at the door in shock. I then looked to Vic, expecting him to be pissed. He wasn't though.

"I-I'm sorry," I whisper, looking back at the door.

"It's okay, he has the right to be upset. It's a fucked up situation. I'm surprised you're not the one blowing up over it." I stared at him, unsure what to say. "I should probably leave. I figure your parents won't have many nice things to say either."

"No, they don't blame Mike. You don't have to leave." He gave me a small smile.

"I really should get back to Mike." I only nodded my head. "I'll let Mike know he can come see you. You still want him to, right?"

"Yeah, I do, and I'll ask Jaime not to be here." I said, looking over at the door again.

"That might be best," he agreed. He gave me another smile before leaving the room. I laid my head back and closed my eyes. Everything is so stressful right now and all I want is for it to end. And now I have more to worry about. If Mike wants to be institutionalized then I'll support his decision. I just really hope we can fix what little relationship we had before.

\-----------------------

It took a while for Jaime to come back to the room. He kept his head down when he walked in. My parents smiled over at him from where they were sitting. The nurses had brought two more chairs into the room since all three of them stayed here with me.

"Hey," I greeted when Jaime sat down.

"I'm sorry," he said and I shook my head.

"It's okay," I assured.

"I went and apologized to Vic, too." He told me, I smiled a little.

"What happened?" My mom asked, looking between me and Jaime. I looked over at Jaime, unsure if he wanted them to know. He took a deep breath before explaining everything to my parents.

"I want to go home," I told my parents again. I couldn't count how many times I had said it.

"I know, baby," Mom said, pushing some hair from my face.

"I'm tired of being questioned, this bed isn't comfortable, I'm tired of being stuck with needles." I whined, feeling the emotions building up in my chest. I didn't want to cry anymore either. I felt pathetic for crying over this, but I'm frustrated. I want to go home. I hadn't been home in a long time. I wanted to sleep in my own bed and pretend things are okay.

\----------------------------

The next morning I was woken up by Dr. Denety talking to my parents.

"Well, I think maybe tomorrow or the day after. He's making good progress and as long as he sticks to the diet I have him on, he'll be fine." Dr. Denety was explaining to my parents, his back to me. When he turned back to me, he smiled.

"Good morning," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," I answered, getting another smile from him.

"Great," he replied. "Can I check your wounds?" I nodded and sat up, letting him untie the hospital gown and lower it to my lap. I hated this part. I felt so exposed, but I was happy my parents were sitting next to me. My mom always looked away when my wounds were exposed and I didn't blame her. It wasn't a pretty sight. After checking the wounds and putting the bandages back in place, Dr. Denety allowed me to re-dress.

"Alright, they're looking better." Dr. Denety explained. He did a few more things before leaving the room. I laid back down after he was gone.

"Are you hungry?" Dad asked and I shook my head no. "Tony, you need to stay on the diet plan they have you on now. He said you might be able to go home tomorrow or the day after, but you have to stick to this diet plan to get better."

"Okay," was all I said. Dad got up and grabbed the phone next to my bed to order something for me to eat from the cafeteria. My parents talked about random things and I just listened. I figured Jaime was at work, but I really wish he were here. He was still the only person who acted normal around me. Whatever progress my parents and I had made was gone. They were back to walking on eggshells, constantly careful of what they say or do.

There was a knock on the door before it opened. It was someone bringing my food. After they got it in and on the little table, they left. I pulled the table over my lap and began eating slowly, listening to my parents discuss someone from my dad's work. I gathered enough information to learn that it was my dad's new manager. After I finished eating, I pushed the table thing back to the side of the bed. I laid back in the bed and shut my eyes. There wasn't much to do here besides sleep, but I couldn't fall back to sleep.

After a while, there was another knock on the door. My dad called for them to come in. I was silently hoping it was Mike. The door cracked open and Mike poked his head in. He smiled when he saw me and came the rest of the way in.

"I wasn't positive this was your room," Mike told me, coming closer to the bed. I expected to be afraid of him, but I wasn't. Seeing his smile and hearing his nervous laugh reminded me that it's just Mike. The same person who defended me on the first day of class. He wasn't going to hurt me.

"Mom, Dad, can we talk alone?" I asked, my parents exchanged a look before agreeing. They both stood up and left the room. "You can sit down," I told Mike who was awkwardly standing in the middle of the room. He walked over and sat in the chair next to my bed. I stared at Mike as he fidgeted around in his seat. His face and what I could see of his arms were bruised. He had a bandage on his cheek and one on his forehead. His left eye was black and purple, but not swollen. My gaze fell on his wrists. They were bandaged up. I figured it was from the chains.

"It looks worse than it really is." Mike told me, rubbing his right hand over the bandage on his left wrist. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," I replied. "I might get to go home tomorrow or the day after." I told him and he forced a smile that didn't linger long. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Vic said that he told you what my parents want to do." Mike said and I nodded. "I leave here soon. I asked to come see you first. Their psych ward is in one of the buildings across the road." Mike explained, taking a shaky breath.

"Are you okay?" I asked and he nodded.

"Just scared," he admitted. "I-I don't know what to expect really. I'll be there for three weeks starting out and then they'll decide if I need to stay longer or if I can go home. After I get home I'll be meeting with a counselor over here twice a week."

"It'll be okay," I tried to comfort him. He stared down, breathing hard.

"I'm so sorry, Tony. I shouldn't have done any of that to you." He broke down after that. I moved to sit up on the bed, leaning over to take his hand.

"I'm not mad at you, Mike, and I'm not afraid of you. I know you felt you had no other choice. In a round-about way, I was only saved because of you. Had you not been upstairs, Vic would have never found me." I pointed out and Mike nodded. "Don't beat yourself up over what happened." Neither one of us spoke after that.

"If it's okay with you, I'd like to see you when I get home." He said after several minutes of silence and me rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand.

"Of course," I replied. He didn't say anything, just nodded his head. He took a few deep breathes and stared at the floor.

"I should get going. I said I wouldn't be here long," Mike told me. "C-Can I hug you?" He asked nervously. I nodded my head and opened my arms. He leaned down and wrapped his arms around me so gently it barely felt like he was touching me. I was careful with the hug because I wasn't sure how much damage Marcus had really done to Mike. We stayed in the embrace for a while before pulling apart.

"See you in a few weeks?" I asked and he nodded, giving me a small smile.

"Yeah," he replied before turning and leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly can't think of anything to say.... I started a new Kellic story. So there's that. Also, I'm not sure how many more chapters of this there will be. Part of me feels we're nearing the end, then the other part of me says to keep going. So we'll see what side wins out. Plus, I can always write a sequel later on. ;)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have this story finished before my family moves. Our house is being auctioned off on Wednesday and I'm not really sure how soon we have to be out afterwards. I doubt I'll be able to finish this story before we move though.

I had been home for a month and hadn't really left the house. I was going to counseling at the Preciado home, but besides that I stayed home. I hadn't returned to class yet, even though Mrs. Preciado suggested I go back. I just didn't feel I was ready yet. Plus with Marcus still out there somewhere I didn't feel safe outside of the house.

After a long talk with my parents, I decided to get a cell phone of my own. I hadn't really gotten online with it, only if I absolutely had to. The only people who had my number were my parents, Jaime, Joey, and Vic. Mike doesn't have his phone at the hospital, so I can't talk to him, but I had been talking to Vic a lot. Him and his parents went to see Mike twice a week. He said they were allowed to see him every day, but Mike requested they only visit once or twice a week. He wanted time to fully focus on getting better.

They decided to keep Mike for another three weeks. I was starting to miss him, but I want him to get better. According to Vic, Mike was getting better. He wasn't as bad as he had been at the hospital at least. I was happy to hear he was making progress.

"So, how are things between you and Jess?" I asked, knowing Jaime was stressed over his relationship.

"It's better," he told me. "We sat down and talked today before I left work, she met me there. She has a better understanding of the situation and how I feel about it. She agreed to not get so upset with me. I told her this is just temporary, until things get better. You need me right now and I need to be with you." Jaime explained and I smiled a little.

"So you two are staying together?" I asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, we are," he confirmed. "I really do love her even if she has drove me crazy the last few months." Jaime chuckled.

"That's a part of love, isn't it?" I said, making him laugh again.

"Yeah, I guess it is." He agreed with a smile. We both got quiet as we watched the show playing on TV. I wasn't paying much attention to it. After the show ended I spoke up again.

"So I've been thinking about changing my look a little." I told Jaime who turned his full attention to me.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, cutting my hair," I said and Jaime nodded.

"I have a friend who is a hairstylist. I'm sure I could talk her into coming here to cut your hair. You know, so you don't have to go out." Jaime offered and I smiled.

"Thanks, Hime," I said and he smiled.

"No problem... So why do you want to change all of a sudden?" I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, keeping my gaze down.

"Marcus liked my long hair. H-He used to tell me how much he loved it.... He used to... to p-pull it," I told him. I finally looked up at him and saw the sympathy in his eyes.

"Okay, I can give my friend a call.... Is there anything else you want to do?" He asked and I thought for a moment.

"M-Maybe close my ears?" I asked, motioning to my gauges.

"Okay, how do you go about that?" Jaime asked.

"Well, I looked it up, and sometimes if you take the ear pieces out and treat the piercing, it will heal itself. But sometimes it won't. If it doesn't, you can have surgery to close them." I explained and he nodded. "I'm going to try just taking them out and treating the holes first and see if they close on their own."

"Cool, so how do you treat them?"

"You either use hemorrhoid cream because it heals scarred tissue, or there's this stuff called ear butter that's supposed to work, too. You apply that daily and downsize your gauges until they're normal size." I explained.

"Is... Is there a reason you want to close your ears?" He asked carefully and I shrugged.

"I just want to look different. Um, I don't... I don't want to look the same because there had to be something about me he... liked in order to take me. Right?"

"I understand, dude. Do you want me to see if Isabella can come over today? And then I can run to the store and get what you need to close your ears." Jaime offered, I smiled at him and nodded. I was happy he wasn't making a big deal over this. That's why I wanted to do it when my parents weren't around. My mom likes my long hair and would probably try to talk me out of cutting it.

"Yeah, if you don't mind." I said and he shook his head no.

"Not at all," he smiled at me before pulling out his phone. I sat quietly while he talked to his friend. Once he hung up, he turned to smile at me.

"She has a couple of things to take care of and then she'll be over." He announced, making me smile widely. I was happy to finally be getting this done. And maybe if Marcus comes back, I won't be appealing to him anymore.

Jaime and I watched another movie while waiting for Isabella. We had watched so many movies that we were re-watching some. I still felt bad about keeping Jaime in the house all day, but he swears he doesn't mind. About the time the movie was ending, there was a knock on the door. I tensed up and glanced over at Jaime who gave me a reassuring smile.

"It's okay," he told me. He got up and went to answer the door.

"Hey," I heard a girl's voice say.

"Hey," I watched Jaime lean forward to hug the girl. I relaxed slightly, trying to tell myself it would be okay. Jaime invited the girl in. She was about average height and overweight. Her black hair came down to her shoulders and had bright pink streaks through it. Her skin was tan and her blue eyes made her look joyful.

"This is Tony," Jaime introduced us. I stood up and held my hand out to her. She wasn't threatening in the slightest, so I felt more comfortable with her. I was still feeling nervous, but not enough to run away from her.

"Hey, nice to meet you." She said, smiling brightly at me. The best way to describe her would be a ball of happiness. Her smile was big and genuine and her eyes constantly held that happy look in them.

"So what all do you need?" I asked.

"Um, a sink, a towel, and a chair. I brought everything else I'll need." She told me, holding up the large black bag in her left hand.

"Okay, I think it would be best to do this in the kitchen." Jaime suggested, pointing in the direction of the kitchen. Isabella nodded and followed Jaime while I trailed behind her. Jaime helped her get everything set up and I stood off to the side, not wanting to get in the way.

"Alright, come sit here," she said, motioning to the chair in front of the sink. I sat down and she put a towel around my shoulders before having me lean my head back into the sink. She used the hose to wet my hair. I listened to her and Jaime talk while she did my hair. After she was ready, she had me get up and moved the chair to the center of the kitchen. They continued to talk and the most I contributed was a laugh every once and a while unless they talked directly to me. Isabella kept trying to include me into the conversation which I appreciated, but I was more happy to just listen.

After explaining to Isabella what I wanted done, she began cutting my hair. I felt better with every snip. I was really hoping all of this would take away some of my fear. There had to be something about my appearance Marcus liked, so maybe changing my appearance would turn him off to me. I hope he doesn't come back, but as long as he's still out there, there's a chance he'll come back for me.

"Alright, I am done," Isabella said, using a little brush to clean off the hair from my shoulders. She removed the cape thing from around my neck. Both her and Jaime were smiling at me. She handed me a hand held mirror and I bit my lip as I held it up. I was a little shocked at first, but also relieved. My hair was short.

"Thank you so much!" I said, smiling widely.

"No problem," she answered. After a few minutes of listening to Jaime and Isabella talk, I grabbed the broom and began cleaning up the hair on the floor. There was a lot of it. I was happy to have step one done.

Isabella hung around for a while before announcing that she had to leave.

"Oh, how much do I owe you?" Jaime asked, but Isabella shook her head.

"Nothing, this was a favor for a friend." She smiled over at me, making me look down in shyness.

"Are you sure?" Jaime asked, making Isabella laugh.

"Yes, I'm sure," she replied.

"Thank you," I said, looking back up at her. She smiled brightly at me.

"You're welcome," she said. After a couple more minutes, she left. Jaime stared at me with a smile, making me feel a little uncomfortable.

"What?" I finally asked.

"Nothing, you look nice," he told me.

"Thanks," I replied with a smile.

"Your mom will be back soon and then I can go get the stuff for your ears. Am I supposed to get hemorrhoid cream? Or that butter stuff?" Jaime asked, I shrugged as we went to sit back on the couch.

"I'm not sure if it really matters. I don't think one is necessarily better than the other." I told him and he nodded.

\-------------------------------

Just as I thought, my mom freaked when she saw all my hair was cut off. She got over it quickly though. Or at least she stopped giving me sad looks or asking why I did it. I didn't want to tell her the real reason. It was one thing to tell Jaime, but I didn't want my parents to know. My mom seemed more okay with me closing my ears when she asked where Jaime was going and I explained. She had never really been a fan of my gauges, even if she never directly told me.

I laid on my back on the couch with a book in my hands. I was trying really hard to focus on the words, but kept getting lost. My mind wouldn't stop racing. What if I see Marcus again? Would it piss him off that I changed my appearance? I didn't want to get beaten to death for upsetting him. And I'm sure that he won't let me get away if he ever finds me again. That thought was enough to send chills down my spine. My life was over if Marcus ever came back. And whose to say he won't sneak into my room in the middle of the night to finish the job?

"Sweetie?" My mom's voice made me jump a little, whipping my head to the side to look at her. "Sorry."

"It's okay," I replied, shutting my book and sitting up. Both of my parents were standing near me. When I sat up, they both sat down next to me.

"Your dad and I have been talking about something and we wanted to talk to you about it." Mom said, scaring me a little.

"Okay," I said carefully. They shared a look before turning their gaze back to me. My dad began to explain what this was about.

"We thought maybe a change of scenery would be good for you. There's not a lot of good thoughts for you surrounding this town anymore." I stared at my dad before shifting my gaze to my mom.

"What do you mean?" I finally asked.

"We thought about moving." Mom said, shocking me a little. I kind of figured that's where this was going.

"I-I don't want to move," I said.

"I know it's a big change, but we just thought it would be better for you to get away from this town, from the people in it." My mom said, sounding like she was trying to make a point without actually saying it.

"What is this about?" I asked, looking between the two of them. Neither one said anything for a while before my dad finally sighed.

"We think it would be a good idea for you to stay away from the Fuentes family." Dad said, getting straight to the point. I stared at them in shock. They couldn't be serious.

"I know you'll defend Mike, but you don't have to, honey. We wonder if there was... more to him wanting to be institutionalized." Mom said, picking her words carefully. I scoffed.

"You think Mike did... that because he _wanted_ to? Are you seriously suggesting he could be like Marcus?" I asked, feeling like I was the one being attacked.

"We don't know," Mom said truthfully. "Most normal people would exhaust every other possible choice before choosing to do what he did." She pointed out, making me stand up from the couch.

"You don't know what a "normal" person would do in that situation! You weren't in that fucking room! You don't know how scared and desperate we were. I don't blame Mike for what he did and you shouldn't either!" I said, my voice rising in volume.

"Tony, calm down," my dad warned, his voice stern.

"No! Mike and Vic _saved_ me. I am _not_ turning my back on them and moving away from them like their criminals!" I said, feeling tears in my eyes.

"If you don't want to move, that's fine. But we would still prefer that you don't have contact with the Fuentes boys. Just long enough to really think everything over." Mom said, making me scoff again.

"Long enough to think what over?" I asked.

"What he did to you and if you really want him in your life. Just because his brother found you doesn't mean you owe them anything." Dad explained, his tone still stern.

"I'm going to turn Mike into the bad guy. He did what he had to do. There weren't any other options and the few we had, he had already tried. _Don't_ blame Mike for what happened there." I said before storming off. I couldn't believe they were trying to keep me from Mike. I couldn't believe they were suggesting he would do it again. He didn't hurt me because he wanted to. They didn't see how torn up he was over it. They didn't listen to him cry so hard he couldn't breathe. They don't understand how terrified we _both_ were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I don't know much about psych wards in hospitals, but my cousin was almost sent to one once and we were told we could come see him every day. I probably won't go too into detail about Mike's stay there since I don't really know how things work.  
> Also, I learned everything about closing gauged ears from Google, so don't blame me if it's wrong, lol.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my ducklings! I'm still alive! An update for people who didn't already know, I didn't end up moving like I thought we were. We moved in with my aunt and cousin, I just got really stuck on all of my stories. I did write a couple of oneshots and some stories over in the Phandom though. Also, to top of my summer from hell, my little sister was diagnosed with non-hodgkins Burkitt's lymphoma when she was 11 and spent her 12th birthday in the hospital. She's been there 9 weeks now but is doing better and might be coming home soon!   
> Also, things aren't going great living with my aunt, so we will actually be moving in with my grandparents once my sister is discharged from the hospital and we get everything ready. We're shooting for November to be the moving month.

Three months had passed since I got home from the hospital. It felt like we started over from square one. My parents had been on eggshells around me and it got worse after blowing up on them over Mike. They didn't mention Mike anymore and I hadn't talked about him. They made it clear they didn't want me around him and I was hoping that these three months apart would be seen as enough. I still want to see Mike and from what Vic says, he still wants to see me.

I did a lot of thinking after my parents confronted me though. I talked to Mrs. Preciado about my relationship with Mike and what should be done about it. She suggested we do therapy together and said she could meet with us once a week. I decided I would mention it to Mike when he gets home. If he ever gets home.

Vic kept me updated on his recovery along with Mike's. Vic still didn't want Mike to know he relapsed even though I'm sure Mike would understand. But I still promised I wouldn't say anything to Mike about it.

I mindlessly flipped through channels and kept glancing at my phone. Jaime was at work, my dad was at work, Vic was at work, and my mom was in her room messing around online. I didn't feel this lonely the first time, so what was wrong this time? I turned the TV off at the same time I got a text from Vic. I picked it up to read what he wrote.

 **"I'm going to visit Mike and last time I was there, he had asked about seeing you. I was gonna lie and say you didn't want to come, but that's wrong of me. Do you want to go?"** My breath caught in my throat when I read the text. Mike wants me to come see him? I bit my lip and looked at the door. I hadn't left the house since getting home. But I really want to see Mike.

"H-Hey, Mom?" I called, hearing her get up almost instantly.

"Yeah?" She asked as she came into view.

"U-Um, Mike wants me to come see him." I explained slowly, biting my lip again.

"Oh?" I could tell from the tone of her voice and the look she gave me that this would end in a fight.

"Yeah, and I, um, kind of want to go." I replied, causing her to bite her bottom lip.

"I don't think that's a good idea." She replied sternly.

"Well, I'm technically an adult, so I can make my own decisions." I told her quietly. The last thing I wanted was to upset her. She put her hands on her hips and gave me a challenging look.

"Well, I don't see how you're going to get there." She answered, still daring me to keep arguing. I never argued with my parents before.

"I-I'm sure Vic would take me," I pointed out quietly, dropping my gaze to the floor. I didn't like fighting with her and I couldn't remember how to stand up for myself.

"We'll discuss it when your dad gets home." Mom told me, turning to leave.

"But-" I stopped myself when she turned around again. I bit my lip and stared down. I wanted to tell her that Vic would already be home from visiting Mike by then, but the burning look in my mom eyes told me that this wasn't up for debate anymore. I finally just nodded my head and backed down. There was no point in fighting her when I can't even pitch my own fight against her. Mom stared at me for a moment before sighing.

"If you really want someone to hang out with, how about you see if Joey can come over?" Her tone was softer now but it didn't change how I felt. I want to see Mike.

"Okay," I replied, still staring down. She stood there for a while longer before finally leaving the room. I grabbed my phone and texted Vic back.

 **"I can't. Mom won't let me."** I hit send, my shoulders dropping a little. I sat back down on the couch and stared out the front windows that Mom insisted on opening the curtains to. I didn't like looking outside because it reminds me that there's a world out there that I'll never be a part of without fear. I will always be afraid of what could happen. Every strange man I pass, every time someone gets a little too close, every strange car parked on the side of the road. I'll never be able to enjoy life again.

I looked down when my phone vibrated but chose to ignore it. I can't go see Mike, so what's the point in replying? I could do like Mom suggested and see if Joey wants to come over, but I'm sure he's not up for sitting in my living room with nothing to do. I can't believe how pathetic my life has become.

I stood up and went to the upstairs bathroom, deciding to take a long shower. I turned the shower on, not bothering to test how hot it was. I then stripped off my clothes and stepped into the stream. I hissed from the slight pain the burning hot water caused, but forced myself to stay under it. It scared me that I was starting to feel more and more self-destructive as time went by. The longer I was forced to live with what happened, the longer I was kept from other people, the more of a burden I was made to feel like... It was all too much and all I wanted was something to replace it.

Part of me was arguing that there was nothing wrong with texting Vic and asking him to come pick me up. So what if my parents don't like it? It's my choice not theirs. And if seeing Mike makes me happy, shouldn't they want me to go? They don't like him anymore though. They think he's a rapist and they don't want him anywhere near me. If I go, it's just going to end in a fight which is something I don't want. I don't want to start fighting with my parents and make them regret getting me back.

After I was out of hot water, I got out of the shower, dried off and re-dressed. I went to my room and crawled under the covers, burying myself under the warmth. I just want life to go back to normal but I'm not even sure I know what that means anymore. My life before Marcus was blurry. It felt more like trying to remember a fuzzy dream rather than my own life. Besides Jaime, nothing from my past life was the same.

I wonder if Mike went through this after he was home? Did his family treat him differently? Did his friends come see him? Or did everyone avoid him because they weren't sure how to handle him? Did Mike feel hopeless, lost, and alone? Did he want to end it all, too?

\---------------------

After about an hour of pouting under my covers, I heard Jaime come back. He must have talked to my mom because it wasn't long before he was coming up the stairs and into my room. He stood in the doorway for a while, probably trying to figure out if I was awake or not.

"Hey," he said softly, walking closer to me.

"What?" I asked, no real emotion in my tone.

"I brought your phone," he told me. I furrowed my brow before pulling the covers off of my head. "Your mom told me." He said, holding the phone out. I took it and tossed it under the covers with me before pulling them back over my head.

"You are eighteen, Tony. They can't stop you from seeing Mike if that's what you really want." He pointed out, sitting down beside me.

"Vic probably already went." I mumbled, not wanting to deal with this. I was too much of a whimp to stand up for myself, so of course I was just going to do as my parents wanted.

"Well, maybe you can see if you can go next time?" Jaime said, tugging on the blankets a little. I gripped them tightly to keep him from removing them. "Did Vic text you again?" I shrugged even though he couldn't really see it. I finally sighed and grabbed my phone, checking to see. I saw a few texts from Vic. The first was asking why my mom said no. The next was wondering if I could just go anyway. And the last one had been sent about ten minutes ago and was him telling me that Mike really wanted to see me. He asked if I could try going tomorrow.

"Do you think I could convince my parents to let me go?" I asked quietly.

"Do you want me to talk to them?" Jaime asked and I nodded, causing the covers to move slightly. "Was that a yes?" He chuckled.

"Yeah," I answered quietly. He sat with me for a few more minutes before standing up and leaving the room. I didn't really want to get back up. There wasn't much to do besides read or watch another movie, so there really wasn't a point in getting up again. I picked up my phone and told Vic to let me see if I could make it tomorrow. I then curled back up under the blankets.

\-------------------------------

After a lot of discussions, my parents agreed not to interfere with me seeing Mike. My mom was the one who had the most problems with me seeing Mike again. In all honesty, I was terrified to see him again. I wasn't sure what I was even going to say. I had taken a long shower to calm myself before we left. I had paced a lot around my room, too. Jaime was at work again even though he offered to stay home with me. I didn't want him missing even more work because of me and my screwed up mind. I kept repeating to myself that I would be fine. I had been texting Vic back and forth until he texted me saying he was on his way to get me.

My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest when I heard a knock on the door downstairs. I stopped pacing and listened as my mom opened the door. I heard Vic and my mom talking before Mom called for me.

"Tony, Vic is here." I took another deep breath before heading downstairs. Vic smiled at me when he saw me.

"Hey, you ready?" I only nodded my head. I gave my mom a hug bye before walking over to Vic. He kept smiling at me as he led me outside. I still had a hard time leaving the house and I didn't dare get too far away from Vic. I was happy that Vic seemed to remember my nerves and he followed me to my side of the car and waited until I was in before he went to get in.

"Are you okay?" Vic asked, turning his full attention to me before starting the car. I only nodded, taking a deep breath through my nose and hoping Vic didn't notice. "I promise nothing will happen, okay?"

"Okay," I replied, forcing a small smile. The rest of the ride was mostly silent except for the mix CD Vic had put in. When we got to the hospital, my stomach began churning and my mind told me that this was a bad idea.

"You okay?" Vic asked, staring at me. I only nodded, not trusting my voice enough to reply. "I know it's a little scary, but I promise it's okay. He's getting better," Vic assured me with a small smile. I returned the smile a little.

"Alright," I replied. Vic got out and came around to my side. I was a little hesitant to get out of the car, but I forced myself to. I stuck close to Vic as we walked through the parking lot. Once we were inside, my nerves got worse. I wasn't sure why I was so afraid to see Mike.

"We're here to see Mike Fuentes," Vic told the woman at the counter. She had us sign in before unlocking the double doors to the right of the desk. I followed Vic through the doors and into a room with tables and chairs. Vic sat down at one of the tables and I sat beside him. There were other patients meeting with loved ones in here along with nurses watching over them. There was a hallway at the back of the room near the nurse's station.

It took a little while, but I finally saw Mike come out of the hallway with a nurse beside him. She pointed towards us and our eyes met instantly. He seemed shocked to see me. I lowered my gaze to the floor out of nerves. Vic stood up as Mike got close and they hugged each other. Mike stood by me for a few moments before finally sitting down across from us. Was he waiting for me to hug him? Why didn't I?

"How are you doing?" Vic asked, breaking the silence that fell over the table. I still hadn't looked up at Mike. The nerves bundling up in my stomach made it seem impossible to actually look at him.

"I'm good, kinda ready to get home." Mike replied, I could feel his eyes on me. "You cut your hair." He pointed out, smiling a little. I nodded, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"Yeah, I took my gauges out, too." I reached up and moved my earlobe to show him as if he hadn't already noticed.

"You look great," he complimented, making me blush a little.

"Thanks," I mumbled, trying to force a smile. I kept my gaze down but could feel his eyes on me. I sat and listened to Mike and Vic talk but couldn't find the words to join in. Mike would ask questions directed at me and I could only come up with short replies.

"They think I'll be able to go home in about two weeks, will I be able to see you?" Mike asked, catching my attention. I looked up and gave the best smile I could before nodding.

"I'd like that," I replied, making him smile.

"How have you been doing, Tony?" Mike asked seriously, I knew what he was really asking about. I shrugged a little and looked around the room again. I still felt vulnerable even in a secure hospital. Having my back to the rest of the room didn't help either.

"I've been okay," I told him.

"That's good," Mike replied, looking at me suspiciously. I looked down at my hands to avoid making eye contact. "Maybe we could go on a date?" My eyes widened slightly at that and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Um, m-maybe," I replied, wrapping my arms around myself protectively. My stomach was churning and I felt like I was going to be sick. My body was shaking and all I wanted was to get away from here. Coming was a stupid idea. I should have listened to my mom. I wasn't sure why the idea of dating Mike terrified. I tried to tell myself it was the going _out_ on a date that scared me, but the rational side of me knew that Mike wouldn't try to take me somewhere. He already knows my limits and boundaries, he would probably plan something at home where I feel comfortable. Yeah, there was no reason to be afraid of dating Mike. It's what I want after all, right? Then why does the idea of being alone with him making me want to puke?

\---------------------------

I tried to read as Jaime typed away on his laptop next to me. I kept glancing over at him, the typing seeming louder than usual. I wasn't sure why I had been so agitated since seeing Mike. Everything got on my nerves and I had already made it clear to my family that I was in a bad mood.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my tone more annoyed than I meant for it to be.

"Typing," Jaime said in a plain tone. I tried to calm myself down before I say something I shouldn't. I wasn't sure why seeing Mike put me in a bad mood. I thought it would improve my mood. Ever since leaving the hospital I hadn't stopped thinking about Mike's question.

"Alright, what's wrong?" Jaime asked, closing his laptop and turning his full attention to me.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"Tony, you've been in a bad mood ever since getting home. Did something happen?" I shook my head no. "Don't lie to me. What is wrong?" I stared at the words on the page in front of me even though I wasn't reading anymore.

"Tony," Jaime said, his tone telling me he wasn't going to drop it. I finally sighed and put my book down.

"I don't know, okay? I don't know what happened or why I'm in a bad mood or why I feel like throwing up." I admitted, secretely hoping it would be enough even though I knew it wouldn't be.

" _Did_ something happen? Or was it just seeing Mike again?" I shrugged, staring down at my hands.

"Mike asked me out once he gets home. I know he won't actually try to take me out somewhere but I'm still scared. I don't.... I don't like the idea of being alone with Mike." Jaime got a knowing expression on his face.

"So your bad mood is because of anxiety." He stated, seeming to understand better. "Look, a lot happened between you and Mike and it might take a while before you get over that."

"But why? I know he's not going to hurt me." I pointed out, feeling frustrated again.

"Yeah but you're brain hasn't caught up completely yet. It still wants to tell you to run because Mike is a threat."

"But he's not a threat. How can I be afraid of him when I know he's not dangerous?"

"It doesn't matter that you know he's not dangerous. Your survival side is telling you to run because he already hurt you." Jaime said, his tone staying gentle. I sighed again and stared down at my hands.

"When did you become my at home therapist?" I asked, causing him to laugh.

"The day I became your best friend. It comes with the title." Jaime joked, getting a smile out of me. "Talk to Mom about it. See what she suggests you do." I thought it over for a moment before nodding. I really didn't want to be afraid of Mike. What if that doesn't change? I don't want to lose Mike but I can't be around him if all it will do is remind of that place. I don't want to remember that or what he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this sucked. I tried really hard! Hopefully the next chapter will be better.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that these chapters are kind of short. I'll try to make the next one longer. Also, I'm going to try to finish this before we move just because I won't have internet. I'll still have my phone though, so I'll still be able to update, it's just harder and takes more time.

_I watched helplessly as Mike moved around the bed. I wasn't sure where I was or how I got here. Seeing Mike made me feel slightly better, he would protect me. I was safe now. I tried to move to get closer to him, to feel the protection of his arms around me, but found that I couldn't move from the bed. I looked up to find that I was bound to the bed._

_"M-Mike, untie me. I-I want to get out here." He only smirked at me, walking over to the dresser and opening one of the drawers. "Mike?" I called more desperately. I watched as he pulled something out of the drawers and walked back over to me._

_"I've been waiting a long time to do this." He told me, climbing on the bed. When he straddled my hips, I saw what he was holding. It was a bottle of lube. No, this can't be right. Mike wouldn't do this. Mike wouldn't hurt me on purpose. But he already did once, what's stopping him from doing it again?_

_I was sobbing as his hands roamed over my body and he said horrible things to me. This can't be happening. Not again._

My eyes shot open and I sat up quickly, yanking at my arms to break free. I was happy when I managed to sit up with my arms free. Then someone was sitting up beside me.

"No!" I cried, trying to move away from the dark figure next to me.

"Tony," the person said, reaching out for me. I shoved at the hands grabbing for me and moved farther back, causing me to tumble off of the bed and land on the floor with a loud thump. Pain shot through my bottom as it made harsh contact with the hard floor. The person jumped up from the bed and I scrambled away. I didn't want them to hurt me. I couldn't go through that again. I recognized Jaime coming towards me slowly, hands up to show he wasn't a threat.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I shook my head no. My body was still shaking and I felt sick. Why did I have that dream? I know Mike wouldn't hurt me like that.

 _But he already did._ The voice in my head pointed out. That was true and he did it on purpose. It was to help us though, to get us out of that situation. He did it to save me, not hurt me.

 _How do you know that was the truth._ That made my stomach churn. How did I know? Mike could have done all of that simply because he wanted to. And if he wants to do it again, he already knows I can't stop him.

"I-I can't date Mike," I told Jaime, voice filled with panic.

"Why not?" Jaime asked gently.

"H-He knows I can't fight him off." I shook my head a little. "I can't date him."

"What do you mean? You know he wouldn't hurt you on purpose right?" Jaime asked.

"He already did, Jaime. He..." I shook my head. "He already did. He hurt me on purpose." Jaime sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair.

"I know it seems that way, but what he did was to help you. You said that yourself, remember? He was trying to save you, Tony. That was the only way he knew how." I shook my head again.

"He hurt me on purpose." I repeated. Why wasn't Jaime understanding this? Whether he did it to save me or not, he still raped me on purpose. He knew exactly what he was doing and there was nothing stopping him from doing it again.

"I think you and Mike need to sit down and work through this. You can go to my mom and work through it together."

"No, I don't want to see him." I said, my body still shaking. I couldn't face Mike again. I couldn't risk it. Jaime sighed and stared at me. I could tell he didn't know what to say.

"What was the dream about?"

"That's not important," I whispered. I didn't want to relive that. I didn't want to think about it.

"Okay," Jaime said, sounding tired. "Do you want to try to go back to sleep? Or do you want to do something else?"

"You go back to bed. I kind of want to be alone for a while." He stared at me for a moment before nodding his head. He got up and went back to bed, leaving the light on for me. I waited until he quit shifting around and had his eyes closed before standing up. I glanced at the clock to see that it was five in the morning. My dad would be getting up here soon. I shut the light off and went downstairs. Once I was in the livingroom, I turned the TV on and flipped through the channels until I found something worth watching. I covered myself up with the blanket laying over the back of the couch and made myself comfortable. I was still tired but didn't want to sleep. Sleep meant nightmares and I couldn't handle anymore of those.

\------------------------------

I woke up feeling slightly confused. I looked around and realized I was on the couch. The TV was still on and I had an extra blanket tossed over me. I stretched out before looking at the clock to see that it was noon. I could hear someone in the kitchen and figured it was Mom. I got up and went to the bathroom before going to the kitchen. I found Mom cooking something on the stove that smelled amazing.

"Good morning, sleepy-head." She said, stirring whatever was in the pot.

"Morning, what are you making?" I asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"Chili," she replied, grabbing the chili powder and mixing some in. "It's a cold and rainy day, perfect chili weather. Plus, your dad is getting off work early and should be home soon. I figured chili for lunch would be good for us all." I gave her a small smile before going to the fridge and getting out a bottle of black cherry water.

"Jaime is in the shower but should be finishing up here soon. Maybe you two can have a relaxing day at home today." She said, voice still cheerful. I could tell Jaime told her about last night. That was why she was acting this way. I didn't mind though. I kind of expected him to tell my parents.

"Yeah, I'm not feeling too great. I think I'm going to lay down for a while longer." I told her, getting a concerned look in response.

"Are you sick?" I shrugged, screwing the cap back on my bottle. She came over and felt my head to check for a fever. I wasn't sick and I knew I wasn't. I just had no desire to be up today. I wanted to sleep all day and forget the others. I knew there was the risk of nightmares, but I managed to sleep this morning without any.

"Well, you don't feel warm. Go ahead and lay down. I'll bring you some chili when it's done." She told me. I forced a small smile before turning and heading back to the couch. I felt safer on the couch than in bed. Maybe because I wasn't hurt on a couch. I laid back down, facing away from the rest of the room. I pulled the blankets back over me and shut my eyes. I wasn't really tired but I didn't want to be awake. I had too many thoughts and feelings when I was awake. Being asleep was kind of like being dead without the commitment. It was even better when you were so deep in sleep that you didn't dream.

After a while of laying there, I heard Jaime coming down the stairs. I soon heard him and Mom talking.

"He's still asleep?" Jaime asked.

"He woke up once but said he wasn't feeling well. He's not running a fever though." Mom told him, her voice sounding concerned.

"Well, depression makes you feel lousy." Jaime pointed out.

"Please don't talk about him like that. I don't like to think of him being depressed." What did she expect? For me to be happy and upbeat. I was kidnapped twice and abused. I'll be lucky if I ever feel genuine happiness ever again.

"I'm sorry, but pretending like it isn't true won't help him any." Jaime explained. I didn't hear them say anything else for a while before they started making small talk. I knew this was hard on my parents but Jaime was right. Pretending like everything was fine and that I would be okay again wasn't helping. I don't know if I'll ever be okay again. I don't know if I can survive living this way either.

When my dad got home, he went straight to the kitchen.

"Why is Tony still asleep?" I heard him ask Mom. There was a brief moment of silence and I figured it was their hello kiss they always shared.

"He had a rough night. Jaime said he had a nightmare and freaked out. He ended up falling off of the bed and then came down here to sleep. He woke up earlier and said he didn't feel good." She filled him in. He didn't say anything though which made me feel a little nervous. Were they getting tired of me acting this way? Maybe just playing along and pretending that everything is fine is what they want. I wasn't sure I could give that to them but I could at least try.

"You want any food?" Jaime asked softly, shaking me slightly. I shook my head no and he sighed. "You gotta eat."

"Fine, just a small bowl of chili." I told him even though I wasn't hungry. I knew him and my parents wouldn't drop it until I ate something. I rolled over on to my back and waited for Jaime to come back. I sat up with my back against the armrest and took the bowl of chili. He sat down in front of me with his own bowl and we both ate in silence, the only sounds coming from the TV and the kitchen.

After we both finished eating, we sat and watched TV. I stretched my legs out, using Jaime as a footstool. I wanted him to know I wanted him near without having to speak. I really didn't want to be alone anymore but I wasn't in the mood to talk either. My phone going off got both of our attentions. I reached over to the coffee table and grabbed it.

 **"Mike got re-evaluated today and they said he's well enough to be home. They're discharging him tomorrow." -Vic.** My heart was pounding in my chest as I read over the text multiple times. Mike was coming home already? But I thought it would be a while longer? Was he expecting to go on a date right away?

"What's wrong?" Jaime asked. I couldn't reply so I just handed my phone over. I heard him sigh and he took a moment before speaking.

"You don't have to see him, Tony. You can take time for yourself and then tell him when you're ready. It might be a good idea. You need to work on you right now." Jaime told me.

"I-I want to take a shower," I told him quietly before getting up and leaving. I could feel him staring at me, but I didn't look back. I was happy that he didn't try to stop me. When I got to the bathroom, I decided to take a bath instead of a shower. I watched the water fill up the tub before stripping and getting in. As I laid back in the warm water, I couldn't help but wonder if it was possible to drown right now. If I just held my breath, closed my eyes, and laid still, would it all end? Probably not, not in a bathtub anyway.

I sighed and stared numbly at the ceiling. Healing would take longer even though I didn't want it to. Every time I thought of Mike, my stomach would start twisting and my heart would race. Am I actually afraid of Mike? It didn't make sense though. What he did was to save us, to save _me_. How could I be afraid of him for that? Could he have handled it differently? Could he have done something else to save me? Probably.

I thought back on all of the things Mike did and didn't do. The times he got beat for refusing to hurt me. The first time he did it. How much it actually hurt, not just physically but emotionally. I trusted Mike. I didn't think he would ever do that. I didn't think he would purposefully harm me but I was wrong. Whether it was to save me or not, it only did damage. It didn't save me, it hurt me. It damaged our relationship and now I worry it can't be repaired.

I always thought that Mike was safe. He stood up for me at class, he was gentle and kind, he made sure I was safe. Mike used to be safe, but he's not anymore. My brain tells me to be on high alert when he's around. Will I always hear alarms going off when Mike gets close? Or will I be able to trust him again?

The only thing I knew for sure was that this date can't happen. I'm not ready and I'm not sure if I'll ever be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for a lot of depressed Tony that keeps getting worse before it gets better.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a while. I have good news though! My little sister is in remission now! She had a lot of side effects from the chemo though and can't walk but she's in rehab now and is slowly getting there. She went into remission right before Christmas. Best Christmas gift ever! Also, my family now has a house! My great, great aunt is letting us live in her house rent free. We're moving as soon as my sister gets home. I won't have internet for a while after moving though.

I shot up in bed, breathing heavily and my eyes darted around the room. It had been a week since Mike got out of the hospital and the nightmares hadn't stopped. I barely slept because of them. I had ignored all of Mike and Vic's texts. I felt bad because Mike was worried and wanting to know what he did. How was I supposed to tell him that I was having nightmares of what he did to me? 

"Another nightmare?" Jaime asked, sitting up beside me. I nodded my head and tried to settle my heart.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I hated that I kept waking Jaime up every night. Usually more than once. I tried hard to keep my little break downs and fears to myself.

"Don't apologize, you can't help it." Jaime said in a tired tone. I could tell he was fighting to stay awake.

"Go back to sleep, I'm fine," I told him.

"You don't look fine," he replied.

"I do this every night. I'm fine," I pointed out. I knew it was a lie, but I wanted Jaime to go back to bed. I didn't want him to keep losing sleep because of me. Jaime sat up and rubbed a hand over his face. He glanced at the clock and yawned.

"What was it about?" He asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Mike," I told him quietly.

"Are you afraid of him? Because you know you don't have to see him, right?" Jaime pointed out.

"No... I don't know... I don't feel like I'm afraid of him but then these stupid nightmares keep happening. I don't get it." I sighed, running a hand over my hair. It still felt kinda weird having it so short. I had my hair long for so long.

"Do you think seeing him would help? You know, be reminded that it's just Mike?" I shrugged, unsure if it would help or not. "Maybe having him over while everyone else is here would be better? I could stay with you until you feel comfortable." Jaime offered.

"Can we just go back to sleep?" I asked and he stared at me for a moment before nodding.

"Sure," he replied. I laid back down, getting comfortable and facing away from Jaime. I wasn't sure if I would be able to fall back to sleep but I could try. It was a few minutes before I felt Jaime laying back down and getting comfortable. It didn't take long for him to start snoring again. I stared at my phone on the nightstand before reaching out with a shakey hand to retrieve it. I looked over my shoulder at Jaime before typing out a text to Mike.

 **"Hey." -Tony.** My finger hovered over the send button as I contemplated hitting it. I finally hit it and immediately regretted it. My heart pounded in my chest when he almost instantly replied. It was the middle of the night, what was he doing up?

 **"Hey, why are you up so late?" -Mike.** I bit my lip.

**"Bad dream. You?" -Tony.**

**"Studying. I'm taking my test tomorrow afternoon." -Mike.**

**"Already?" -Tony.** I hadn't even been aware that he went back to class. I guess he wasn't laying around the house being pathetic like me.

**"I was pretty close to being done before so I just need to do some refreshing and then I can take my test." -Mike.**

**"Oh, that's good." -Tony.** I waited for a reply and was starting to wonder if he wouldn't. I guess it was kind of hard to keep up a conversation when it was obvious I had been ignoring him lately.

**"Are you going to go back to class?" -Mike.**

**"I'd like to." -Tony.**

**"You should." -Mike.** I couldn't help but feel awkward talking to him. He already knows that I was ignoring him and that just makes this whole thing worse. I finally decided to address the matter.

 **"Sorry for not texting back. I've been feeling weird lately." -Tony.** It was the best way I could describe how I felt. I wasn't feeling bad or sick, I just felt weird.

 **"That's alright. It's normal. Anything I can help with?" -Mike.** I felt slightly better to be talking to him. It was just Mike. He wouldn't hurt me. I bit my lip and typed out another text.

 **"Come by after your test tomorrow?" -Tony.** I paused with my finger over the send button. Did I want Mike to come over? I just told Jaime I didn't. Well, I guess I didn't tell him anything. What do I want? I finally sighed and erased the text before typing a new one.

 **"Not unless you can make me feel better." -Tony.** It was the more pathetic answer.

 **"It will get better, Tony." -Mike.** I felt that overwhelming feeling settle into my chest and stomach again. I set my phone aside, deciding not to reply to him. How would things get better? I don't even know how to live my life anymore and he was seriously going to claim that it would get better? I just have a hard time believing that.

\------------------------------

The next day Mike texted me multiple times but I couldn't bring myself to reply. I wanted to but I was afraid and confused. I felt that I needed time to figure things out for myself before I tried to have any kind of relationship with Mike. It wasn't healthy for me to put myself into a situation where I didn't feel safe and couldn't fix the problem. I wasn't afraid of Mike but I also was. It was a confusing concept and I couldn't wrap my head around it. Which is why I found myself sitting in front of Mrs. Preciado and trying to explain the whole thing to her.

"Tony, as much as you don't like to think of it, Mike did hurt you. He was someone you trusted and, even though it was a survival tactic, he hurt you. Anytime we trust someone and they hurt us it makes us afraid to trust that person again. I believe your mind is trying to protect you by basically setting off alarm signals every time Mike is near. You're afraid of what he did but not him. Logically, you know he would never do it just because he can, but you're also trying to protect yourself so he appears as a threat. Does that make sense?" I thought over it for a moment before nodding.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked, feeling defeated.

"I think what's best is for you to talk to him. Explain that you're having a hard time recovering and need some time to heal. Continue these sessions with me and we'll work on it. Maybe one day we can even bring Mike into the sessions and help you both work through this." She suggested, smiling kindly.

"And if Mike gets mad?" Her smile turned sympathetic.

"Something tells me that he'll understand." I continued to rub my hands together in nervousness. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation.

\----------------------------

Three hours had passed and I still hadn't been able to start the conversation. I felt that it was something I needed to do in person. I felt it was something too deep to do over text or call. Mike needed to see my emotion and how hard this was for me and I needed to see whether he really did understand. After pacing the livingroom for the hundreth time, I plopped down on the couch next to Jaime who was eating chips and flipping through channels.

"I can't do it," I admitted.

"Tony, it has to be done. Maybe seeing him will also help you decide if this is what you want or not." I stared down at my phone with a new message to Mike opened. I finally typed out the words I had been trying to do for three hours. My finger hovered over the send button far too long.

"Will you press send?" I asked, handing my phone over. "Wait!" I shouted just as he hit send. My heart was pounding and I stared at the phone like Jaime just committed a crime. He sent the text. Mike will get the text and he will agree to come over. I told him we needed to talk. This is actually happening.

"It's better to get it over with, Tony. I can be there if you need me." Jaime offered but I shook my head, still staring at the phone in shock.

"I-I think I need to do this alone." I explained, feeling my stomach twist and churn. I wasn't sure I could do this but I had to. I jumped slightly when my phone alerted me of a new text. I read the text from Mike saying he could be here within the hour. I only replied with "okay" before putting my phone down. I tried taking deep breaths the way I was taught by Mrs. Preciado. What if Mike gets mad? What if he doesn't understand what I'm trying to say? What if I can't say it right?

I sat with Jaime as I waited for Mike to get here. It was sooner than I thought it would be that I heard a knock on the door. My heart was pounding as Jaime got up to answer the door. As soon as it opened I saw Mike standing there. He saw me too and smiled before greeting Jaime. I felt like running to my room and hiding. I can't tell him I don't want to see him. I can't explain that I don't feel safe with him. How was I supposed to do this?

"Hey," Mike said as he came towards me.

"H-Hey," I replied. "Um, can we go upstairs and, um, talk?" He nodded, smiling a little. I looked at Jaime who gave me a little nod. I stood up and led Mike upstairs. I paused for a moment, feeling afraid to be in the bedroom alone.

 _'No, it's just Mike. He won't hurt me. It's fine.'_ I kept telling myself over and over. Once we were in the room I debated whether to shut the door or not. I decided to leave it open halfway.

"So, what's up?" He asked, sitting on the edge of my bed and glancing around my room. My eyes followed his, trying to see everything he was noticing. I sat down on the bed too, keeping a bit of distance between us.

"Um, I-I don't know how to say it." I said as if I was asking for help.

"Just tell me straight up what it is. Trust me, I can handle it." I only nodded, rubbing my hands together. I thought it over in my head a hundred times before opening my mouth.

"I really do like you and I don't want you to take this the wrong way." I stopped again, trying to decide how I wanted to continue.

"I won't, I promise." I closed my eyes, trying my hardest to pretend he wasn't sitting next to me.

"I know what you did was out of desperation.... I don't blame you, Mike, I swear I don't, but...." I felt the tears in my eyes and cursed myself for being so emotional. I was sure by now he knew where this was going. "Mike, I'm scared." I finally admitted, biting back the tears. I expected him to get mad or offended but he didn't. He stayed calm and silent in order for me to continue. Part of me wishes he had said something.

"I know you were only doing what you felt you had to do, but I'm so scared Mike. I'm not afraid of you though. I really do want to be with you I just can't. I can't get over this feeling of being in danger and I just.... I'm sorry, Mike." I finally opened my eyes and saw him staring at me. He looked a little hurt but understanding.

"I don't understand what you want." He told me, his voice staying even.

"I don't know what I want. Mrs. Preciado thinks I should stay away from you for a while and work on myself. She also suggested we work things out later when I'm better." He seemed to think it over for a second before nodding.

"I agree with her. I went away to work on myself so it's only fair that I give you the space to fix yourself." He reasoned.

"Will you still be there when I decide I'm ready?" He gave me a small smile before nodding.

"This will give me some time to help Vic, too. He's really struggling right now." My eyes widened a little. Did Mike know? He chuckled a little humorlessly. "I already know he started drugs again. He's getting better though, he's just struggling. I can focus on fixing him and myself while you focus on fixing yourself."

"Are you mad?" I asked, looking back down at my hands.

"Why would I be mad?"

"Because I said I'm afraid of what you did."

"I know what I did was wrong, Tony. I really did only do it to save us though. I promise I will never hurt you that way again. If I could go back and change it, I would. You went through hell there and I only made it worse. You should hate me right now." He pointed out.

"I don't though," I told him. He smiled a little before standing up.

"I really am sorry, Tony. Do what you need to. You know how to get a hold of me if you need to. See ya later?" He asked a little unsure. I nodded my head, standing up also. "Let me know how things go?" I nodded again. We went back downstairs and I opened the door for him. Just as he was about to walk off of the porch I stopped him.

"I really am sorry, Mike." It felt like the right thing to say. It hurt to basically tell him I couldn't be around him. It hurt to send him away like this.

"Don't be," he said with a smile. I watched as he went to his car and left. I went back in and sat down next to Jaime who seemed to not have moved from his position.

"How'd it go?" He asked, turning his full attention to me.

"He agreed to give me space." I said, my tone void of emotion.

"That's good, right?" He asked, picking up on my tone. I nodded my head. "Then why don't you sound like it is?"

"Because I really like Mike. I don't like turning him away just because I'm screwed up in the head." Jaime sighed before sitting up straight.

"I'm going to say something that you might not like. He's part of the reason you're screwed up in the head. Tony, if you end up with Mike, you're never going to have a normal relationship. You've both been through fucking hell twice. You both need to work through things separately before trying to do it together." He pointed out. I sighed and ran a hand over my face before nodding.

"You're right but it's not easy, Hime. This whole thing sucks," I told him.

"I know," he said sympathetically. I ran a hand over my head and looked back at the TV. I wasn't sure if I could get through this whole thing. I had made a lot of progress according to Mrs. Preciado, but I still feel like I'm at the beginning. There was just too much to work through in order to feel like I was close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we're nearing the end of this story. Maybe one or two more chapters? But, there will be a sequel! Even though Jatty is the only person who still cares about this story, lol.


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